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Engaged to an actor

dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
edited October 2013 in Blended Families
I have no idea how actors gfs and wives do this.  So FI is not very active he does modeling and extra type stuff occasionally.  Well he got a lead roll in a play and has to be there to practice at least 3 nights a week.  And of course it is a love story.  He sent my the script and I am too jealous to even read it but I went with him to the practice last night and he has to get down on one knee and propose to this girl.  Ugh.  I hate feeling so jealous over this.  Luckily it is a play that is sponsered by the church so there is no kissing.  Originally he had thought there would be fake kissing (whatever that is).  Ridiculous.  On one hand I am proud of him but on the other it makes me feel jealous that he is even pretending to love someone else.
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Re: Engaged to an actor

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    dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
    +just+j+ said:
    Diamonds - are you in therapy? Because you are obviously hanging on to old hurts. You gotta deal with this. This is NOT healthy for you or your relationship.
    I think a little jealousy is normal?  However, I admit I am more jealous than I should be.
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    +just+j++just+j+ member
    Yes a little jealousy is normal in real life situations. A play is not real lufe. This is not normal. You aren't seperating reality from make believe. Thats not healthy.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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    dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
     
    +just+j+ said:
    Yes a little jealousy is normal in real life situations. A play is not real lufe. This is not normal. You aren't seperating reality from make believe. Thats not healthy.
    I see what you mean.  I guess my mind just wanders to thinking about him getting interested in the other woman in the play.  I guess it is ridiculous but of course actors do tend to get involved with their costars.  Of course he isn't a tom cruise or anything like that.
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    CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Littlejen22 said:
    There are two things I see. A little jealousy is normal but not being able to read a play to be happy for him is not normal. And you worry about him getting involved with costars because he has almost cheated recently. Do you feel confident that is resolved? Honestly I used to be annoyed by a lot of your posts because of how you were dealing but now I just hope you can work on your self-confidence and realize what YOU need so that the rest will fall in line.

    ^^^This...


    kimmygirl77 said:
    You are jealous because you can't trust your FI. You just found out that he was emotionally cheating on you. You are jealous because you know deep down inside that he will probably do it again. You know deep down that his behavior is NOT your fault. In my opinion, if you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship. Get out!! Kick him to the curb and continue with therapy to understand why you pick the same types of men. Once you understand that and are confidant with yourself, then you should date and find a real man.....
    ^^^And this...

    @dmndsr4eva I'm wondering how much of your jealousy right now is a result of what just happened with FI.  Were you jealous when watching him in plays before this all happened?  If you weren't jealous before, than understand that this jealousy is probably a byproduct of FI's quasi-infidelity.  How are you handling that issue?  Have you looked into couples therapy?  Have the two of you discussed the issue further?  I will say this:  FI inviting you to the rehearsal is (I think) a positive step on his part.  I'm not forgiving his sins here, I'm just saying that by him inviting you to the play he's showing his cast that he's in a relationship and letting you meet the people he's going to be working so closely with the next few weeks.

    I must say, I actually completely agree with you that it would be incredibly difficult for me to watch DH kiss another woman in any sort of play/movie.  Not because I'm super insecure, but because that is my man kissing another woman.  I don't know if I could be in a relationship with an actor. 
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    twister22twister22 member
    I think a little jealousy is normal. I think I would have a twinge of jealousy if DH had a role where he was the DH/FI/BF to another girl, as silly as it is. So I think that part is normal. But to not to be able to read the play is a bit over the top.

    Are you in therapy? Because I think it would be really beneficial for you, and that would trickle down to DS.
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