why wouldn't you feed on demand?

LittleNugget93

I have heard people talk about not feeding on demand and I cannot seem to wrap my brain around this.

What is wrong about feeding on demand?

stever

"You don't want to spoil them," "scheduling's important," yada yada yada :-q 

KateLouise

"You need to get them on YOUR schedule."
"The quicker they fit into everyday life the better"

"They need to learn that they're not in charge"

Having said that  however, i think some people do have a certain perception of feeding on demand. Before I had kids I thought feeding on demand would mean that baby would want to nurse every 10 minutes for like a minute, and that you'd never get a second to yourself.

Obviously babies, cluster feed, and some babies nurse more often than others, but once I had babies, I quickly realised that it's not long before they're going long stretches between feedings, on a normal day, and that feeding on demand, doesn't mean you have a baby attached to your nipples 24/7 forever.

danigirl7181

"You need to get them on YOUR schedule."
"The quicker they fit into everyday life the better"

"They need to learn that they're not in charge"

These just cracked me up!!! 

kcisthebombdotcom

My sil fed on a schedule. She went back to work at six weeks and thought if baby went three hours between feedings it would make her life easier/lo would sleep better.

st.augbride

We started ds off on a schedule because the NICU told us to. About 2 months out, we were waking him to eat at night when he would have otherwise kept sleeping and he was having tummy trouble. The GI gave us the go ahead to switch to on-demand, which helped him a LOT. But we needed to follow instructions since he was only 3lb 12oz when we brought him home from the NICU. For dd, I've only done on-demand and couldn't imagine it any other way.

musicalmama5

I think the demand feeding fad came with the formula fad. If you can look at a bottle and see exactly how much a baby is taking in, you can easily schedule feedings and know LO is getting enough. However, with BFing it doesn't make sense not to nurse if LO wants to nurse, especially in the beginning since *seemingly* constant nipple stimulation is what gives your body the message to produce milk. Also, every woman's milk production is different. Thus, some babies need to nurse more frequently, others less so. Baby knows what baby needs. And baby has never heard of a clock! 

With the exception of PP's experience with a teeny tiny baby needing to be woken up to eat, I think demand feeding is definitely the way to go. I eat when I'm hungry. Why would I deny a little baby who doesn't understand the concept of "wait" the same?

Emerald27

There are recommendations to mamas of new babies that they nurse at least every 2-3 hours, and on demand in between. For lots of families that does mean setting an alarm, and lots of sleepy newborns have to be woken up to nurse. If they aren't, they can get into the cycle of not having enough energy to wake to nurse because they haven't nursed enough, etc. Nursing every 2-3 hours in the early days also helps to establish an adequate milk supply.

So schedules can work to make sure baby is fed enough! Now if you're feeding less than on demand on a schedule, and making baby wait until a specific time to eat or for a preset period, you can run into problems like poor weight gain, lethargy, failure to thrive, and diminishing/poor milk supply.

Nursing on demand + nursing every 2-3 hours for newborns to two/three months works very well to keep everyone happy and healthy.

opheliainwaders

Yeah, we also had to feed on a schedule at first (DD was only about 5lbs, and a very sleepy preemie). But like Emerald mentioned, it was a schedule to INCREASE the feedings, not one to make her wait. If she wanted to nurse sooner, then that was great (and we'd just restart the clock from whenever she last ate).

Now that she's older, she's kind of put herself in a pattern of eating every 2-3 hours during the day, cluster feeding before bed, and eating once or twice overnight...that's a "schedule" I can live with ;-)

Meganequine

We nursed on demand in the beginning, but I did sometimes watch the clock and if it'd been less than 2 hours I'd try other soothing methods first just to make sure he was actually hungry.  (Of course for the first couple of months he cluster fed for 3 hours in the evening and we just rolled with it.)

somewhereincali

mooshagirl said:

The only scenario where I think you would need a schedule is if you have multiples. Other than that, no.

You end up exhausted but you can demand feed multiples (at least twins).

nanabanana06

I demand feeded and my son isn't breastfed. I think feeding on demand can benefit more than just BFed babies. Plus it just seems more natural.

Mrs.AmyDylan

I'm a FTM! Not knowing why newborn DD was crying was frustrating. Then I figured if I stuffed the boob in her mouth every time she cried, I could by process of elimination figure out what she needed. After a few weeks I got the hang of it and her cries sounded different for different needs. I will say that the boob usually made her happy (hungry, cold, lonely, need a hug, hold me, nurse to sleep, hiccups).

michwalk

Because you're a jerk. That's why you wouldn't feed on demand.

LittleNugget93

michwalk said:

Because you're a jerk. That's why you wouldn't feed on demand.

Hahaha see that was all I could think of when I was trying to figure out why people wouldn't! The first time someone mentioned feeding on demand I was so confused. I started out thinking that that was the only option. If my baby is demanding to be fed, clearly the only reasonable thing to do is nurse them.

neverblushed

Hi there -- mom of older kids here!

I suspect most parents, whether they start out thinking "I'm going to stay on a strict schedule" or "I'm going to feed 100% on demand" wind up doing something very common-sense that lies in the middle of these two extremes.

The pitfall for parents who are zealous about feeding on demand is that they can get into a pattern where they respond to every cry by offering food.  We're feeding on demand, right?  The baby's crying again, demanding something.  When I offer the breast, baby always nurses and it always soothes, right?  We must be onto something here!

Although babies cry for reasons other than hunger, they usually will eat when offered a chance to suck on a breast or bottle.  Sometimes when they cry, it's not food but sucking/soothing that they're after, and nursing addresses this too.  That's actually a good thing.  But I have seen parents carry a healthy, well-intentioned "demand feeding" mentality right into the toddler/preschool years where become a one-trick pony, distracting the child from every crisis with an offer of a snack.

I generally tried to keep in mind that if my babies were crying within an hour or so of filling their bellies with milk, they were probably in need of something other than more milk.  If nothing else was working, I'd nurse them simply to soothe, but I tried not to make food my "go to" response to EVERY demand.