LGBT Parenting

Would you ditch your pets?

Would you get rid of your animals after you had a baby?  I have a Facebook friend who is trying to get rid of her two cats because she can't handle them and her baby.  Personally, I think that's incredibly irresponsible and heartless.  I'm not in her shoes so I guess I can't really say whether or not I'd do it but I like to think I'd try harder for the sake of my pets to keep them in the only house they'd ever known.  Short of my baby having a very severe alergic reaction, I'd do everything I could to not have to re-home my pets.

What about you folks?  How do you feel about this?  It just made me mad but I didn't comment on it because I know it's just going to spawn reactions like "You're not a mom!  You don't understand!"

Grrrrrrrrr...

Re: Would you ditch your pets?

  • Honestly, I can't possibly see how one can't take care of a cat. Ever. 

    Short of my kid being deathly allergic, I would never get rid of my cat. 

    Can't handle a cat, I'm nervous of the ability to care for a child. :)

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
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    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
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    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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  • Barring something life threatening (severe allergies) - no. By the time our kids arrived, our dog was 11y with 2 bad knees, cataracts in both eyes, hard of hearing, and hornery as hell. She hated the kids and they were very intrigued by her. So, for the 2.5 years she was alive after the kids were born (we ended up having to put her to sleep due to cancer), we had to keep them separated at all times. Not an easy feat in our open floorplan house, with 2 active toddlers, and having a dog that was no longer crate trained. But we did it to keep the kids safe and we knew re-homing our dog would break our hearts and be damn near impossible.

    Can't care for a cat? Phhffft.
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  • Had to re-home one cat because she nearly attacked our son's eye when he was learning to walk. That was the only time we had to re-home a pet (except for the ferrets we had at one point - before the baby came). Since then, none of the animals needed to be re-home. Just two recent death (one's tomorrow - cancer and age) (both critters were 15 years old). Little Bear has been so understanding of our losses of pets. (Two other pets died two years ago). We've also added to our family after those passing.
  • Personally my two dogs are my four legged kids and I love them so very much. They add so much to my life daily and I couldn't imagine not having them. I know they will love Bean when he gets here and we will be an awesome family. That's two dogs so I can't say that I personally understand how you couldn't take care of two cats. I don't have cats currently but have in the past and they are lower maintenance than dogs I think. I could never do it, my dogs are with me and Bean for the long haul :)

    BabyFetus Ticker

  • We have 2 cats and a dog and they aren't going anywhere. I'm super attached to all 3. Agree that cats are so low maintenance except for the damn litter box. That's actually my only concern - keeping a mobile infant away from the litter. Nothing a safety gate can't fix, I imagine. Z and I are SO EXCITED to see Bama and the baby interact. I keep telling Bama that her best friend is in my tummy. Can't wait!
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  • I told my wife about this thread and said "Can you believe that?!?! Reese will always be our first born!" I then may have said, "I love Reese and Noodle equally right now. Sorry Noodle, when you meet Reese, you will understand." Honestly, our dog is like my best friend. I would throw myself in front of a car for her. That might sound insane to some, but maybe they just haven't had the right pet in their life yet to understand.

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********
  • I would never get rid of our dogs because of having a baby.  Our dogs are better behaved with children than with adults.  We love our furbabies to death, but we don't baby them.  They aren't allowed on the furniture, don't sleep in our room and don't require a ton of attention.  So I don't think it will be a huge adjustment when we have babies.  They are used to having different kids and babies in the house because I babysit so often.

    Here is a picture of the little boy I babysit full time and our little weiner/beagle mix snuggling on the floor

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    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
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    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K



  • Yeah, I can see aggression or serious behavioral issues getting in the way of me keeping a pet but otherwise, sheesh... C and I have already discussed this since we have a mini dachshund who's paralyzed (and may be fixed with the help of laser treatment which we'll pursue after I get KU).  He's an angry little thing and he HATES kids.  But we've had him for a decade.  He has another 5 years, max, and keeping him away from a toddler won't be too tough since he's not very mobile.  But by God, I am not getting rid of the dog.  Or my cat.  My cat just requires a 5 minute rubdown in the morning, a litter change, food and water, and space on the floor to lay down and she's totally fine. Cats are so easy.  So annoyed with FB friend right now.  It was more her tone that rubbed me the wrong way.  She posted about taking her cats to the shelter if no one wants them in the same way one would say "We're getting rid of our cable because it's too expensive."  Pets are not disposable!  Argh!
  • I agree, our pets are our babies.  However, we did have to re-home one of our cats before the baby was born because he was terrorizing both of our other cats and putting too much stress on the dynamic.  One of our friends was able to take him and we can visit whenever we want!  It's a much better fit since he has one playmate that actually plays with him over there.  We won't get rid of the rest of our family though!  Two dogs and two cats, plus baby girl.  =)
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    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Well, I can honestly say that I see this a little differently now that I have a baby. I never thought I would ever think about getting rid of one of our furbabies.

    We have two dogs and two cats. One of our dogs recently tried to attack the baby. We are working with her, and have her on doggy prozac. She was high strung pre-baby (chihuahua and daschund mix) and is worse now, really we should have considered the drug pre-baby. We are committed to working with her, but there are days where I've seriously considered finding another home for her.


    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
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  • We have two dogs. A 63 pound German shepherd and a 38 pound kelpie. I would never think about finding new homes for them. Both handle our nieces and nephew very well.
  • I would never ever re home my pets unless there was some sort of aggression or allergy issue.
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  • How one couldn't give enough attention to a cat under any circumstances is beyond me.  My cat just wants to lay on the floor next to me and be petted once in a while.  Even if my cat was all up in my business I can't imagine it would be bad enough that I'd completely ignore her.  I'm not a mom yet so I can't say how I'd really manage, but her whole attitude rubbed me the wrong way.  She's not re-homing the cats, she's taking them to a shelter.  People generally don't take older cats and they'll most likely be put down.  It's depressing and I think it's a major cop-out.
  • I wasn't sure whether to comment on this thread but decided to throw my two cents in. C and I have two dogs...we are a blended family ;-)

    One of our dog is great with kids but lousy with other dogs and most adults. Our other dog is not so great with people or kids.

    We love them very much but at this point don't feel comfortable putting them around children. Once we get pregnant we plan on getting them a trainer or specialist but it is very expensive.

    I just hope that when the time comes we can make the right decision and get them trained (which is the most ideal situation).

    It's hard for us because both of our dogs are rescue dogs with VERY complicated pasts. We love them so much but feel like our children will definetly come first.

    Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
    First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013, Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013, Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013, Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013, Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013

    C began IUI's
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  • So I have never had a cat and don't really understand the work involved. We have a 12 year old rescue italian greyhound who I LOVE to death. I have had her forever and she is a really chill dog...but... Baby+dog+ 2 mommas in this tiny house is getting old. We would never get rid of her, but we did send her on puppy vacation. She stayed with A's parents for a month because we were traveling and they were coming down a few weeks later (she can't be kenneled/dog sat by strangers...she breaks out in full body hives). 

    I have to say, that one month break was the best thing we could have done for the whole family. It was right after I went back to work, we got to focus on each other and Miles and she got a ton of attention and beef. She is back now, he is bigger, and everyone is finding their place in the family. Although, I have been amazed by how much more cleaning has to happen when she is around. 

    So I wouldn't just dump her, but I think it is easy to under estimate the total insanity of the first couple months. I would have totally side-eyed your friend, but now I guess I would try to be a little more empathetic. 
  • @deegadee13 that makes sense to me.  It will be hard to give our pooch the attention he requires once a baby comes along but I think we can manage.  But cats... they don't need very much, really.  They get sick of attention pretty easily.

    Again, I think it was more how she handled it.  Dumping older pets at shelters is totally uncool.  It basically removes the guilt from the owner while still sentencing the pet to death because you didn't think through what would happen when you had kids before you picked out a pet.  Re-homing to people you trust is totally fine by me though!

  • My cat is my child, I love her so much. I would never give her up unless there was some sort of aggression that we were unable to handle. She provides us with hours of love, entertainment and conversation. She will always be a part of this family, I cannot understand your fb friend. It's very sad :(
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