Holding hands

littlestjerry

I'm so frustrated with DS. We went to this Halloween party at the zoo Friday. He wants to walk, but really he wants to dart away into the crowd. He refuses to hold hands, screams and falls to the ground. If you pick him up as punishment for that he raises holy hell, kicking and screaming. I was near tears and sweating my ass off. Meanwhile, my friends' similar aged kids are walking nicely. It was so embarrassing. Eventually, I guess I "broke" him because he let me put him in the stroller, but then he couldn't enjoy anything. Couldn't hug the characters or trick or treat. I'm at a complete loss. I literally saw no other children acting as insane as he was. We're going to Disney in 4 months, and I want to have fun, not fight with him the whole time or strap him into the stroller and not let him out. How do I control this beast while walking??

littlestjerry

No, this is his M.O. I'm thinking maybe start taking walks in the neighborhood and going right home if he refuses to hold hands? Maybe that will teach him? I could never let him walk at like Target or something because he would refuse to hold hands and then kick/scream/make me sweaty and embarrassed if I picked him up.

Maebb

I was too independent to hold hands as a child, but my mom gave me the choice - I could hold her hand, or I could hold the stroller or the pocket of her jeans. Either way, she was still keeping me close, and I felt good because I was getting my own choice about it. Idk...if all else fails, you could get a leash. Have you seen that episode of Modern Family where they take Lily to Disney?

Soxgirl07

I know you said it was his MO but how often do you try it? My rule with DS1 is hold hands, stroller, or be carried anywhere that could have a moving car. It took him awhile to really get it.

He loves running up and down our driveway and whenever he would get close to the street, I would explain the deal to him and take his hand. Sometimes I would even demonstrate us going back and forth, explaining when and why I needed to hold his hand. In the beginning I'm going to say there were 2+ solid weeks where the above scenario resulted in me carrying a screaming and kicking toddler into the house. Every. Single. Day. But I think the practice close to home helped. He's pretty good about it now.

I've also settled for the @Maebb suggestion of holding something else. He loves to 'push' the stroller.

Jacobsmommy2013

I agree with some of the other options, if not would you be willing to buy reigns? That may also work.

Spin313

I would suggest practicing. Go to Target, the mall, etc and lay out the rules before you go in: no running, stay by my side if you want to walk, otherwise you WILL be carried/put in the cart or stroller.

littlestjerry

My SIL told me I could borrow their backpack leash, and I'm certainly not above it, especially at Disney. I don't let him walk a lot due to his shenanigans, but we do take neighborhood walks.

kcisthebombdotcom

We had this problem too with my second child. My first child learned to walk holding hands very young and very easily and naturally I chalked it up to my stellar parenting. My second child slapped me back down to reality. I'm going to scare you and tell you it took a good two months of practicing with dd on how to walk and I endured many public tantrums when she had to go back in the cart for not listening. She did eventually get it and it was worth it to be able to let her walk happily and more importantly keep her safe.

fancynewbeesly

Definitely practice. We would take neighborhood walks a lot. It took a lot to click in with her. 

Now, at Target she is so used to holding my hand and me carrying a little basket she has a meltdown if I actually need the cart. 

"Walk and hands?" is her favorite expression.

She still tries to run sometimes in stores but she has gotten much better.

MrsCodeMonkey

My DD doesn't walk nicely either if the environment is too exciting. I have practiced many times. It often ends in tears, but she does make an effort at first.

We can't even go on neighborhood walks. She wants to play in the gravel at the end of the driveway and won't go. I think at this age they have their mind set on something and don't respond well to reasoning.

Nowadays I avoid the mall if she's with me. That's not a solution, but it saves my sanity.

littlestjerry

Thanks everyone. And, good point, @fredalina. Hopefully one day his spunk will be a huge asset to him . We're gonna start practicing today! I'd rather a meltdown at target than disneyworld, I suppose.

LaCally4

I don't know how old your son is but mine was like that, too. Not long after he turned 2 he became better, though. There wasn't really anything we did. Maybe part of it was his language and better understanding us when we said he had to stay close to us and hold our hands. It really was like one day he went from taking off running whenever his feet hit the ground to being a somewhat rational toddler who listened when told to stay close.

For Disney, I'd definitely bring the backpack harness. You may not use it if he cooperates well but if not, he'll probably enjoy it more than being confined to the stroller the entire time.

msdrdg

We have a teddy bear backpack leash.  We've used it for a couple years now.  We explained to him that we love him and we don't want him to get hurt and "safety bear" will keep him safe.  As wild as he's ever been he's always listened when we told him we needed to keep him safe/not get hurt.  Some days he even asks to bring "safety bear" to DC with him as his nap friend.

NotSharknado

I'm with @Soxgirl07, practice walking around the neighborhood. It's really frustrating at first but after awhile he'll catch on when to hold your hand and slow down or stop.

I started this with DD at the beginning of the summer. She would kick and scream crossing streets and it wasn't fun. I kept at it and it got easier. Don't be afraid to be firm either. They need to know they can't just run off.

thetheisens

Spooko said:

Back.pack.leash. 

Yep, I know some people have strong feels against these, but really , they do exactly what you want- it keeps him safely attached to you and allows him to have some independence at the same time. We used one at the zoo and it was awesome. Lot of parents actually told us what a good idea it was. The few that gave me dirty looks can suck it. 

littlestjerry

My SIL said the leash didn't work for my niece, but I didn't really get a good grasp on my why. My only fear is that he'll realize he's still restricted and pitch a fit and dead body himself still. Has anyone had this problem with their strong willed little angel?

bcbuzzafsu

We just bought Dmitri this leash harness.