Fight with husband

mrscreccotobe1220

So I'm only 5 weeks along and my husband and I had a terrible argument tonight. This is technically our second pregnancy. I was pregnant last year and had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. My husband and I were arguing over silly things, and since I'm extremely nervous about this pregnancy (being that it's my first since my miscarriage). I'm worried that the fight will affect my pregnancy and something terrible will happen. My husband made a comment in the middle of arguing that made me more upset (it was I don't know how this baby will make it with arguments like this). I think mostly because he's nervous. But the comment made me feel like there's a dark cloud. Has anyone else argued with their husbands? Is this normal?

HFrizzle

Yes arguing is perfectly normal, but opening up the lines of communication and working things out in a calm state of mind is what is key. Just relax and when you both calm down, sit and listen to each other. This can be a stressful time for both of you, but you are each other's rocks and what will make it easier to get through these upcoming weeks.

tbmadeamistake

If babies were affected by arguments, my first wouldn't be the healthy 17 month old that she is.  Pregnancy is hard on both parties and arguments are bound to happen.  The screaming (on my part) that used to happen during my first pregnancy was momumental.  After the fact, I'd always calm down and we'd be able to talk it out, but it was hard.  As long as your whole day isn't stress, a bit here or there won't negatively affect your baby.  We're doing better this time around because we're more aware of what we're doing in front of the 17 month old, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still happen sometimes. 

awc1986

Don't worry hun. DH and I argued a lot to begin with and this is our 2nd pregnancy too (MMC in may). He was nervous and scared and was worried about going through another loss, which manifested in him being shouty and moody for the first few weeks. He chilled out once we saw the heartbeat at 7wks 2 days. Men aren't as good as putting their emotions into words as we are, so just give him a bit of time to figure it out.

If arguing affected pregnancy then there'd be very little hope for many of us. It's not like in the movies where someone slams a door and immediately loses their baby. They do that stuff for dramatic emphasis.

amccul20

arguments are normal. figure out how to communicate with each other.  its completely understandable that you're both stressed since you had a loss last year.

I am sorry for your loss.

akifyre

If you can not talk to each other without the emotions getting in the way of what you want to say, or perhaps you both interrupt each other when you are trying to talk, I recommend writing what you need to say in a letter and handing it to him. Be there when he reads it and then you can discuss it. 

Be prepared to listen to his side of things. And I would recommend also talking about how the problem you are discussing has made you both feel. If you are in the wrong be prepared to apologize. We are all human and we all make mistakes. 

If he asks why you are trying this method, just tell him that it might help to allow you both to get what you need to say across without the stress of an argument. 

This is the method that I used to help my husband and I work out many problems in the beginning of our relationship. I know it may not work for everyone else, but, it made those conversations a great deal less frustrating. We have been married for fourteen years now. We no longer need letters, and have not in so many years. But our arguments are just discussions now. No yelling on either part. That would just not be productive. 

Good luck and yes, stress and disagreements are very normal in pregnancy.