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What to do?

J&D2007J&D2007 member
in Infertility Veterans
So, I'm waiting on AF to arrive so I can start my ivf cycle with ccrm. I am seriously like clockwork, 28 days. Of course, I'm now late. Which means there is a good chance now of ER being the day before thanksgiving or so. My problem is, we are having a lot of houseguests as we have for years. 12 out of town family members staying with us, some others coming for dinner. This is a yearly tradition. We all have tickets to the NFL game on thanksgiving and then I cook and we hang out the rest of the weekend. It is really the only time we get together. There are no other family members within 12 hours to change houses. So...what the heck am I supposed to do? No one knows about ivf and DH refuses to tell anyone at all. Do I hope for the best and maybe just not show up myself and let everyone else get together. What in the world would my excuse be? I don't travel for work or anything. I really would hate to cancel this cycle because then I would have to wait until January..that seems too far. I am a little lost on how to approach this...
Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
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Re: What to do?

  • Lacyj67Lacyj67 member
    The way I have always looked at IVF stuff is it trumps everything since the amount if money we drop on this is So huge.... People will understand and get over it even if you happened to have come down with the poops suddenly!;) good luck I hope AF shows ASAP and dosnt ruin all the fun plans!
    Me 34 and DH 39 married in aug. 2002
    Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN
     High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 
    IVF #1 May 2012  ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN
    MINI IVF Oct.2012  Cancelled 10-27-12
    Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013
    Shared cycle..Donor cycled in July Got 12 eggs 9 fertilized and 8 frozen!!
    DE FET #1 Sept. 3rd 2013 FIRST BFP EVER 5dp5dt
    miscarried Sept 24th at 5 weeks 5 days
    Etopic  D&C and hysterscopy Nov 5 2013
    dx with pre genetic blood clotting dec 2013
    FET #2 Jan 31st  2014 
    Miscarried for a second time again at 5 weeks 5 days
    Currently fostering to adopt an amazing little 1 year old boy..P.J!
    FET#3  is Oct 29th 2014
    BFN on fet #3
    Last and FINAL FET coming JAN 28th 2015
    Everyone Welcome






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  • liz4pawsliz4paws member
    I agree with Lacy. I think an acute case of "food poisoning" may be in your future. I would never cancel something as important as a cycle because of other people's expectations I show up to an event. They will understand, people get sick! Good luck...it's never an easy position to be in!

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
     Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
     Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
     DH: Severe MFI

     12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
    My ovaries are just for decoration

     12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
     2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
     2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
     3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!      
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
     9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
     11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
     My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
      
        image      image 
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  • luvbostonluvboston member
    Don't you dare cancel this is 100x more important than eating turkey and watching football. And even if you have to get the flu or DH has to breakdown and tell people it will be ok. You only have a certain period of time to get KU.
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story


    image
    image


    Lilypie - (ugiy)


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  • PrettyAccountantPrettyAccountant member
    I have to agree with all the PP. eff everything - this comes first. Food poisoning or a migraine works great as an excuse.
    TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
    Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
    DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
    IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
    IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
    1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
    Prayers for our take home babies!
    2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
    My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
    Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
    IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
    Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
    Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
    A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
    Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
    IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
    transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
    Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
    Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
    Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
    AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • J&D2007J&D2007 member
    Thanks for the advice, I'll definitely not postpone my cycle. But, I'm not willing to cancel everyone else's fun either. Everyone spent hundreds of dollars on plane tickets, football tickets, etc. I just will need an excuse for me not to show up. I'm sure DH can be home.. He'll only need to to out in CO for a total of 12 hours for his 'donation' then he can be gone. What in the world will be my excuse for not coming to my own party?
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
    Report Reply
  • brooklynesquebrooklynesque member
    You can always invent the funeral of a dear friend's mom in Colorado. You really couldn't miss it -- after all, your friend has been there for you through thick and thin. You are sure they will all understand how important these things are. ;-)
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  • JSM0801JSM0801 member
    Oh man, why is it always like this?! It is so hard to have to lie and be secretive when going through all of this, but just keep reminding yourself that it is for a good cause. That's how I justify it. Do whatever you need to do and say whatever you need to say to NOT cancel this cycle! I'm sorry you might have to miss the big weekend, but hopefully it will all be worth it! 
             

            

    *****Siggy/Ticker Warning*****

     Me (34)- no issues found MH (36)- MFI due to Vericocele. Straight to IVF w/ICSI 9/12, Antagonist. 9R, 7M, 5F = BFN c/p,  New RE for IVF #2- 1/13., Long Lupron. ER on 1/22 -10R, 9M, 9F. Transfer on hold due to overstimming. FET in Feb. 2 frozen blasts. Another BFN & another c/p. RPL testing all negative besides MTHFR gene, vericocle repair surgery 4/12/13-Bilateral Grade 3 Vericocele found & fixed, IVF #3 with PGS  4/13- 11R, 9M, 9F. Transferred 2 normal=BFN, 3 normal on ice. CCRM-here we come! ODWU-All test results normal. EPP in August. 21R, 20M, 19F. 12 blasts biopsied & frozen for CCS testing. Results showed 11 normal! FET Oct. 30. 2 5d 4AA blasts transferred. First ever BFP!!! Beta 1=216, Beta 2=870 1st U/S=It's TWINS!!! It's a BOY and a GIRL!! Everyone Welcome!!! 
                                       Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

                         Pregnancy Ticker
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  • J&D2007J&D2007 member
    Oh, no. I think today is cd1. Which, if I did the calendar right, means ER will be ON Thanksgiving day. Really? What are the odds?
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
    Report Reply
  • WindyCity33WindyCity33 member
    Oh man J&D: On Thanksgiving makes this a bit more difficult. Would you be comfortable opening your doors to everyone and you and your DH not being there? I would do that and tell them that you have business, a wake or something along those lines and have to be in CO. Or would you be comfortable telling one of your relatives what's going on and letting them be the buffer?

    Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
    IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
    TWINS!
    15w4d:baby a-pProm
    March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
    July 29: FET-BFN

    Sept: TAC placed

    Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen

    Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
    imageimage

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  • J&D2007J&D2007 member
    WindyCity33 said:
    Oh man J&D: On Thanksgiving makes this a bit more difficult. Would you be comfortable opening your doors to everyone and you and your DH not being there? I would do that and tell them that you have business, a wake or something along those lines and have to be in CO. Or would you be comfortable telling one of your relatives what's going on and letting them be the buffer?

    I think that's what we are going to do. I'm going to tell my sister and she will have to be the host. I am thinking my DH and I are at a conference and our plane gets delayed.. That's the best I got:-(. Thanks.
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
    Report Reply
  • WindyCity33WindyCity33 member
    J&D2007 said:
    WindyCity33 said:
    Oh man J&D: On Thanksgiving makes this a bit more difficult. Would you be comfortable opening your doors to everyone and you and your DH not being there? I would do that and tell them that you have business, a wake or something along those lines and have to be in CO. Or would you be comfortable telling one of your relatives what's going on and letting them be the buffer?

    I think that's what we are going to do. I'm going to tell my sister and she will have to be the host. I am thinking my DH and I are at a conference and our plane gets delayed.. That's the best I got:-(. Thanks.
    Plane delay...or you miss a flight and can't get rebooked. I'm really sorry that you're in this position.  (((hugs)))

    Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
    IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
    TWINS!
    15w4d:baby a-pProm
    March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
    July 29: FET-BFN

    Sept: TAC placed

    Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen

    Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
    imageimage

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