To be SAHM or not?

CinemaGoddess

I think it's wine o'clock for WYE.   Or she's slowly going insane from the SAHMing.  

Or both.  

nanabanana06

Well aren't you a peach.

WYEngTeacher

This is probably true too. I never said I don't need a drink most nights!

nanabanana06

Someone needs to get her that Groupon for colon aquatherapy to dislodge the stick up her butt.

nanabanana06

I fail at jokes today. Boo.

kcisthebombdotcom

If you become a sahm you will develop a deep disdain for dandelions and pouches. DON'T DO IT.

ILoveBoys

@KC_13 - I'm a SAHM and I do buy the pouches at times. They're great for a snack when we are out.

theimpossibleastronaut

WYEngTeacher said:

For MY family, I value the importance of fostering healthy attachment between toddler and parent, and I value being the one primarily raising my child - teaching and nurturing them all day long at that age.

I don't want to "net battle" and I'm late reading this thing, but I really hate the implication that someone else is "primarily raising" my child while I work.

My daycare provider is family, but this person is not raising my child--she's babysitting. Again, don't want to start a huge argument, but this always rubs me the wrong way when I see it.

WYEngTeacher

I can totally understand why that's bothersome to hear, and I tried (obv unsuccessfully) to chose my words carefully so as to not offend. If someone leaves their child with a daycare provider 8-10 hours a day 5 days/week (not saying this is at all the case for you; that is the "person" I was referring to in my statement), and they're only with their child for 2-4 awake hours per day, which - in the most drastic situations - comprises dinner, bath, bed... well, then my statement is the just the reality of that situation, even if it hurts to hear it. Someone else is with that child for 48-60% of her awake time, teaching and nurturing them all day long, every day. To me, that is more than just babysitting, as they will inevitably have a profound impact on that child's development. I'm not judging that person, and in fact I have 100% sympathy if they have to work long hours to support their family and survive, etc. For a lot of people, that situation isn't ideal, and it's something I'd glad I PERSONALLY didn't have to do. But all the power to the mom's who chose that and are happy with it. If it works for them and they love and trust their babysitter and it makes their family function, that is all that matters!

theimpossibleastronaut

WYEngTeacher said:

I can totally understand why that's bothersome to hear, and I tried (obv unsuccessfully) to chose my words carefully so as to not offend. If someone leaves their child with a daycare provider 8-10 hours a day 5 days/week (not saying this is at all the case for you; that is the "person" I was referring to in my statement), and they're only with their child for 2-4 awake hours per day, which pretty encompass dinner, bath, bed... then my statement is the just the reality of that situation, even if it hurts to hear it. Someone else is spending more awake time with their child than they are, teaching and nurturing them all day long, every day. I'm not hating on that person, and I 100% sympathize if they have to work to support their family and survive, etc. It's just something I'd glad I PERSONALLY didn't have to do.

As I said, I don't want to turn this into a WMs vs SAHMs thing. I have a bunch of SAHM friends and they would NEVER say that someone else is raising my child because I have to work. My babysitter doesn't make parenting decisions-- DH and I do. Therefore, we are raising her even though we have to work. We're the ones who are also there in the middle of the night for her--my babysitter isn't.

Hearing what you have to say doesn't hurt because you're wrong. Sorry if that hurts to hear.

Nechie122

WYEngTeacher said:

I can totally understand why that's bothersome to hear, and I tried (obv unsuccessfully) to chose my words carefully so as to not offend. If someone leaves their child with a daycare provider 8-10 hours a day 5 days/week (not saying this is at all the case for you; that is the "person" I was referring to in my statement), and they're only with their child for 2-4 awake hours per day, which - in the most drastic situations - comprises dinner, bath, bed... well, then my statement is the just the reality of that situation, even if it hurts to hear it. Someone else is with that child for 48-60% of her awake time, teaching and nurturing them all day long, every day. To me, that is more than just babysitting, as they will inevitably have a profound impact on that child's development. I'm not judging that person, and in fact I have 100% sympathy if they have to work long hours to support their family and survive, etc. For a lot of people, that situation isn't ideal, and it's something I'd glad I PERSONALLY didn't have to do. But all the power to the mom's who chose that and are happy with it. If it works for them and they love and trust their babysitter and it makes their family function, that is all that matters!

OMG, STFU with this "truth hurts" bullshit. Yes, you just described the reality of my situation, but it doesn't "hurt" to hear it because I'm not doing wrong by my child.

You might believe that a mother's place is in the home, but I believe that's some anti-feminist, traditionalist garbage. Truth hurts!

RondackHiker

Post-it!

[Deleted User]

Bitch, please. I am 0 hurt by anything you have to say. You can however fuck right off.

MagickalNarwhal

So will you stop raising your child when they go to school? Is your husband not raising your child since he works?

ILoveBoys

Wow. When I worked my mom would keep the boys for 12 hour shifts and sometimes two overnights if I worked days in a row. She was NOT raising my child.
I'm a SAHM and I'd NEVER say that about a daycare provider. I've worked as one of those too. I definitely loved them as my own but listened to the parents wishes for each child.
You're going to give SAHM a bad rap.