Ex strikes again

bebe11

At least this time it isn't directed at me or my DD.  My husband picked up DD from school yesterday (after her Wed with her dad) and she tell my husband about her evening.  Aparently ex and his gf got into a fight because their son grabbed the tv remote from ex and ex grabbed his hand and said a few choice words to him.  His gf got pissed and said "you are the worst father" (think I can call her as a witmess..kidding) and proceeded to say she was going to call the cops if he ever does that again and he said fine, I'll tell them that you pinch him.  Apparently she pinches the little boy when he acts up, he is around 3.5 yrs old).  I'll see if my DD tells me about it herself tonight.  She spent last night there as well for her Dad's birthday, so I didn't have a chance to talk to her yet.

+just+j+

Lovely.  What craptastic people.

 

rmjones15

+just+j+ said:

Lovely.  What craptastic people.

 

Seriously...he sounds like a real winner

CurlieWhirlie

The thing is, I've definitely snapped at my 4 year-old when he does something like grab something out of my hand. I can't say I've ever pinched him, but I can imagine wanting to when he's being really horrible. Stuff like this, if it isn't all the time, doesn't necessarily make a person a bad parent or a bad person, it is totally human to overreact and make a bad choice when it concerns a child. These are the kinds of things that get blown out of proportion after divorce, though — parents start pointing fingers at each other instead of being understanding. 

I'm sure you know your ex, and if this is a pattern of behavior (versus just a momentary lapse) then that's different. I guess the story just made me think about the accusations that BM and SO have leveled at each other since their separation a couple years ago. 

CFjo2010

CurlieWhirlie said:

The thing is, I've definitely snapped at my 4 year-old when he does something like grab something out of my hand. I can't say I've ever pinched him, but I can imagine wanting to when he's being really horrible. Stuff like this, if it isn't all the time, doesn't necessarily make a person a bad parent or a bad person, it is totally human to overreact and make a bad choice when it concerns a child. These are the kinds of things that get blown out of proportion after divorce, though — parents start pointing fingers at each other instead of being understanding. 

I'm sure you know your ex, and if this is a pattern of behavior (versus just a momentary lapse) then that's different. I guess the story just made me think about the accusations that BM and SO have leveled at each other since their separation a couple years ago. 

I agree with this.  We've all had those moments when we snap at a kid. @bebe11, you said yourself you slapped DD once when she was being extra sassy.  I know BD is a total douche, but we all have our moments.

I think what bothers me the most about DD's story is that the GF said, "you are the worst father".  That's a huge no-no.  I know we all at some point have argued with our spouses in front of the kids, but to blatantly insult each other in front of the kids is never ok.  GF clearly has very little respect for BD (which I can't say that I blame her based on the way he treats your DD), and it really sucks that DD had to see/hear that.

MommyEllenSue

CurlieWhirlie said:

The thing is, I've definitely snapped at my 4 year-old when he does something like grab something out of my hand. I can't say I've ever pinched him, but I can imagine wanting to when he's being really horrible. Stuff like this, if it isn't all the time, doesn't necessarily make a person a bad parent or a bad person, it is totally human to overreact and make a bad choice when it concerns a child. These are the kinds of things that get blown out of proportion after divorce, though — parents start pointing fingers at each other instead of being understanding. 

I'm sure you know your ex, and if this is a pattern of behavior (versus just a momentary lapse) then that's different. I guess the story just made me think about the accusations that BM and SO have leveled at each other since their separation a couple years ago. 

I totally agree with this. I think the fighting in front of the kids is the worst part, but even that isn't horrible. While I have never gotten that mad at a kid for taking something out of my hands but I can see where that would be frustrating. I am a pincher though, especially when out in public. I have never left a bruise though or really hurt them. But it definitely gets there attention.

bebe11

My issues with the whole thing is how the two parents yell at each other about calling the police and the gf saying ex is the worst father... in front of the kids. 

twister22

bebe11 said:

My issues with the whole thing is how the two parents yell at each other about calling the police and the gf saying ex is the worst father... in front of the kids. 

I completely agree. It's just ridiculous. DH & I sometimes fight in front of the kids, but we make sure it's "fair fighting." I don't want the kids to think we never fight - that puts unrealistic expectations in their minds for when they marry. But our fights in front of the kdis are more of disagreements, and we work through it in a mature manner. If we can ever tell the fight is going to get out of hand (unfair things said to one another or raised voices) we'll send the kids to their room and go outside, or we'll save the discussion for another time.

What EX and his GF did was completely unacceptable.

CFjo2010

bebe11 said:

My issues with the whole thing is how the two parents yell at each other about calling the police and the gf saying ex is the worst father... in front of the kids. 

I agree, none of that should have happened in front of DD. The GF and BD have a very dysfunctional and disrespectful relationship. I hope DD takes from their relationship what SHE doesn't want in her own relationships.