capture your grief day 11

lrichmond86

Day 11. Emotional Triggers: What triggers emotions associated with grief for you? Is it the weather? A scent? Photos? Places? Holidays? Words? Certain people?

lrichmond86

Day 11: Emotional Triggers. Before we lost baby Gary I used to love this smell. When we got home from the hospital it was the plug in air freshener we had in the apartment. After about a week I ripped it out of the wall and threw it away. Now when I smell this smell it makes me sick to my stomach. It's weird how our body remembers things like that.

Auki13

Warning....  Post about sunshine child

There are several triggers for me, but the one that hits me the most often is when I see sisters together. I adore the fact that I have 3 sisters and when I was pregnant with Annabelle I knew I was pregnant with a girl.  Annabelle's due date was only a week before Lilah's 2nd birthday and I had visions of them celebrating birthdays together, being best friends, and growing up with each other.  I think one of the reasons this hurts most is because this isn't my loss, this is my daughter's loss.  Lilah has a great relationship with her brothers, but she will never have that sisterly bond with Annabelle that I dreamt for her.  

BrittianyM

Day 11. Emotional Triggers:

Don't really have a picture to post for this but one of my emotional triggers is just seeing babies everywhere. Anytime I see a baby, it makes me hurt. It also makes me think about what Brooke would be like right now at almost 8 months old and all the things I don't get to do with her. I miss my daughter so much and miss doing all the mommy things with her that others seem to get to do. Also, it makes me wonder what I did wrong or what I didn't do that I didn't deserve to keep my little girl in my arms.

schulme2

There are a lot of triggers for me.
Some of the bigger ones...
1. Super pregnant women- because I never got to be
2. Twins- we had so many plans for the two of them and I hate that my son is now a twinless twin.
3. Princess things- I know Mary would have loved all things princess and I get sad that I can't buy her princess things.
4. Girly things- she would have been in the cutest Girly outfits. All things bows and ruffles make me sad because I always pictured her in just that.
5. Mommy/Daughter things- it makes me so sad that I don't get to do all those cute mommy/daughter bonding things that only a mom and daughter can.

Really, everything pregnancy, baby, or girl related are triggers for me. :-(

Noethola

***Siggy warning***

Emotional triggers: on really rainy days I think about Elsie. Its not always sad, because I actually love the rain. But it rained for days when we found our her heart had stopped and then delivered. 

Its not a particular scent that is out and about, but when I open her chest and smell her things, I am right back holding her. Its sweet and sad together. 

neptunebljc

Day 11. Emotional Triggers: What triggers emotions associated with grief for you? Is it the weather? A scent? Photos? Places? Holidays? Words? Certain people?

I think at the moment I'm  not really sure what my triggers are. Some things make me sad one day, and the next they don't. I posted a picture of myself because I think I'm what is my trigger at the moment. How I chose to react to my emotion, whether that means suppressing, ignoring or dealing, is still something I am trying to figure out.

Dixon813

There are so many triggers that set me off in an array of emotions. Beautiful sunsets and sunrises, beautiful skies in general.

Anything in a set of threes. I see sets of threes and automatically think of the triplets. Similarly, seeing twins sets me off on a roller coaster. I know, I wasn't having twins, but when I see identical twins, I picture Leah and Rachel. And when I see multiples, in general, I think about how I don't get to be considered part of that special club any more.

In the beginning, seeing pregnant women and newborns through elementary age children was difficult. While I'd never wish this on my worst enemy, I often thought, why does she get to still be pregnant? Or why won't I ever see my babies turn 5? These things mad me very mad.

Of course, there are many songs that have been emotional triggers. Songs about sad situations to songs that remind me that I'm not - and can't be - in control.

While I don't always like my feelings that accompany these triggers, I do enjoy being reminded of my babies. And if that's what I have to go through to keep them with me, so be it.

TwinkleTor

I have a ton of triggers. But it really depends on the day and my mood. Some triggers are pictured. Pictures mostly! Photos during my pregnancy, I miss my baby bump so much. My sonogram photos, he was so cute, and he looked exactly the same as his sonograms! His birthday will always be a trigger, the 9th of every month will trigger me. Domeniks photos, blanket, and smell will forever trigger me. I didn't attach a photo, but the snow will trigger me as well as Christmas, because Domenik was a December/ winter/ Christmas baby.

I'm sure there will be so many more triggers for me, but I'm only a month into my loss. Triggers will probably change.