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Talked to my lawyer

KTdiditKTdidit member
in Blended Families

I talked to my lawyer this afternoon and updated him on our situation - short version: after court in July BD stopped working and has continued to not pay CS at all. Last time he saw DS was July 28th, I haven't heard from him since. My lawyer said although there's not much we can do at this point, that we do have two options:

  1. Go to court again, when BD doesn't show they can issue a warrant for him. He will be put in jail and if he doesn't have a job, they will put him in work release to pay child support.   -OR-
  2. Leave things as-is and wait it out. See how long BD goes without any contact. He said in Indiana there's no magical length of time that DH would have to wait until he can file to adopt DS, the longer it goes the better his chances are. Obviously 3 months is nothing and we wouldn't even think of doing it so soon. But its good to know anyway.

DH and I agreed that we will just let things continue on as they are. I don't want to go through the stress of fighting in court and having to go back god knows how many times for a lousy $60/wk. We both make good money and can financially support DS and our LO-to-be just fine. DS hasn't mentioned BD once. When he talks about DH and people ask who he is he says " he's my daddy". DH is the male figure in his life who reads to him, plays with him, teaches him things, takes him fishing, says bye to him every morning and goodnight to him every night.

As for a CO, I mentioned that if BD were to come back into the picture I want to make up an actual CO. With PU/DO times, holiday schedule, the provision that BD is to maintain a working phone in order to take DS, etc. So the lawyer is aware of that if we need to go ahead with it.

So overall nothing exciting, it went just as I'd thought. But at least my lawyer is up to speed on our situation.

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Re: Talked to my lawyer

  • +just+j++just+j+ member
    I think thats the right move.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • twister22twister22 member
    Everything sounds good. I think you're choosing the right POA. I wonder how long BD will go with zero contact. That's just crazy to me.
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  • KTdiditKTdidit member
    twister22 said:
    Everything sounds good. I think you're choosing the right POA. I wonder how long BD will go with zero contact. That's just crazy to me.

    I can't believe it myself either. I figured after that mess with BD's mother messaging me a few weeks ago BD was sure to call me that weekend. Oh well. BD's father did this same thing to him when he was a kid. Left his mom, got married to someone else, started a new family and never saw BD again. All those years we were together he swore "if (he) ever had a kid he would never be his dad". We see how that turned out. 
    BabyFetus Ticker


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  • twister22twister22 member
    kaholland4 said: twister22 said: Everything sounds good. I think you're choosing the right POA. I wonder how long BD will go with zero contact. That's just crazy to me.
    I can't believe it myself either. I figured after that mess with BD's mother messaging me a few weeks ago BD was sure to call me that weekend. Oh well. BD's father did this same thing to him when he was a kid. Left his mom, got married to someone else, started a new family and never saw BD again. All those years we were together he swore "if (he) ever had a kid he would never be his dad". We see how that turned out.  Holy shit. That makes it even crazier. He     knows what it's like to be that kid yet he's doing it to DS anyway. Thank goodness DS has your DH.
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