Vax followup - is it worth it?

Sigir

I am still very angry about the judgement for the vax case. We saw my awesome lawyer who I trust very much, and she stated that an appeal would not work, we would need to go back to court in a different format in order to have a chance, and even then it is not guaranteed. So for now we are biding our time and putting rules in place to protect the new baby until he gets certain shots. Just wondering one thing... There continue to be outbreaks, and articles regarding the dangers of not vaccinating. I feel like forwarding these to exh, barraging him with them. Is it worth it, or am I just going to get myself worked up for nothing?

Sigir

Also, I have had a hard time letting go of my anger towards exh over this, and I wonder if continuing to engage with emails would be the opposite of what I need right now, in order to try to continue to come to peace with the fact that I lost.

SimpleJane

I do not think it will be worth it to keep engaging him in this discussion. You cant fix crazy. You just cant. It will get you worked up and he will likely just be smug about the fact that he won and there's nothing you can do about it.

Did you discuss with your lawyer what the potential consequences would be if you just waited a while and vaxed anyway?

ambrvan

Honestly, I think it wouldn't be worth it to "barrage" him with emails. I don't think it would get you anywhere. I don't know your X well enough to say for sure, but I think that he is probably sucking to his guns on this more because of the control it gives him rather than genuine concern and worry about the effects of vaccines on your child/children.

I think one email worded with calm-assertiveness, citing well researched articles and cases of what happens to children not vaccinated might be worth it to show that you have informed him of why you want to vaccinate andwhat might happen to them if they are not vaccinated would. Attach a document written to by your pedi and other experts who might want to help your cause and medical journal articles, for instance.

Keep in mind, it still probably won't change anything, but if worded properly it might help show your concern for your children and your willingness to work with your X.

Good luck.

+just+j+

I think it might be considered harrassment if you did this. Have you tried killing him with kindness? I reserve it for the most important things but I can get XH to agree to alot of things when i play the game.

ambrvan

+just+j+ said:

I think it might be considered harrassment if you did this. Have you tried killing him with kindness? I reserve it for the most important things but I can get XH to agree to alot of things when i play the game.

This too.

ambrvan

Oh I just happened to think of this...

What would happen if, heaven forbid, one of your children or another child happened to get sick with measles or some other diseases that could have been prevented by vaccinating? Could he be liable for the consequences? You bet I would be pushing to press charges. I don't care if there is precedent or not. I would do it anyway.

Sigir

Thx everyone. You're right there really is no point. When I see exh in person I have been acting like he's my BFF, bc I know he wants me to be upset. But he would never give in on this no matter how much kindness I dish out... He's too stubborn and vindictive for that.

The lawyer advises against vaccinating.

Wahoo

I had an idea....since you feel you were bullied into your initial settlement as the result of domestic / emotional abuse, have you thought about contacting a woman's shelter / domestic violence advocate and see if they have any legal recommendations? (Don't call a hotline, look for a shelter director or see if your county has a DV advocate). Often they have low-cost legal help, although your situation is different, because your divorce was a whole ago, but you can't be the first person who has caved to an abusive ex.

Sigir

@Wahoo that is an interesting idea I will have to look into. Thanks!