WWYD, daycare related.

mommytoconnor

My DS is 3 and for 3 days in a row was "written up" for bad behavior. He has SPD and speech delay. Once he threw something on the playground, twice he was having a little tantrum and in the midst of him laying on floor kicking and screaming kicked a teacher.  All of these the teachers said they would have not written him up for, they were simple accidents and all kids have tantrums, they just happened to step in the way. No child was ever hurt or even a "near miss".  The director witnessed these incidents and wrote him up.  I even got a call at work to tell me if he did one more thing I would have to pick him up.  I am a nurse and it isn't easy for me to just pick up and go. But of course I would if I had to.  For the last 3 days last week I got great reports from teachers. But of course the director is always a bit snotty, almost like she is picking on him.  The teachers have even mentioned this. So yesterday I got a text from one of his teachers saying that he was having a wonderful day but she wanted to let me know he got a cut on his hand that they had to clean and bandage but that he was fine, just more of an FYI. Then my mom picked him up for me and the director said how difficult he was trying to clean and bandage this boo boo and that it was very traumatic for him, my mom asked what they did for it and they put alcohol on it.  She said well do you not know that alcohol burns? I mean, hello, are you new to this, of course it hurt him if you poured alcohol all over it. When I got home he had this gigantic bandage wrapped around his hand and wrist.  I thought OMG how bad is this cut.  I took bandage off and it is this tiny little scrape that kinda gouged more than anything.  It is less than about 1/4 inch, not very deep.  I thought good lord, by the looks of that bandage you would have though he almost lost a limb. I then kinda got a bit angry at the comments by the director when my mom told me of them, because she always has something negative to say about him and nothing positive ever.  Yet his teachers love him and say how wonderful he is doing.  I have spent a lot of time educating the teacher on SPD and activities that the whole class can do that will really help his SPD and they are totally receptive, I even included the director and she got up after about 2 minutes and left, she has no interest.  Now when I interviewed them I met with asst director who is wonderful.  I explained everything to her and she reassured me they have other special needs kids like him and are comfortable and will work with us on things. So I have also spent a lot of my own money to provide toys, activities, etc for the entire class that are good for sensory kids.  I don't think they should have to spend their money on a bunch of stuff, so I have provided it all and all the kids are welcome to use them at anytime.  I also take in extra stuff so teachers arent spending their own money on little "rewards" for kids getting "excellent" behavior days. This director keeps rubbing me wrong and I don't quite know what to do.  I asked her one day if she had something to talk to me about with my son and she said no, but she keeps on picking on him.  Her and the asst director are friends and so I feel awkward but teachers are complaining about her too, so I am at a loss. Any advice? Sorry it's so long.