Pissed off and feeling lost. — The Bump
April 2014 Moms

Pissed off and feeling lost.

So tonight my DH text me and says he's going to Taco Bell before he gets home.. I said oh okay that's cool see you soon... And then I get a text saying that his ex girlfriend is going to come up there with him... (I've had some issues with them hanging out in the past. A lot of heavy flirting goes on when they are together.) so I ask him not to hang out with her tonight cause I'm it comfortable with it and I just want him home.. Then he sends me a 3 page text taking about I was overreacting and how im in the wrong cause I don't want him to hang out with her..
Am I overreaching? I'm just feeling really lost and hurt

Re: Pissed off and feeling lost.

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  • He never does this. Like ever and now that I'm pregnant he wants to hang out with her?? It's just making me spin my wheels. I don't think he would ever cheat on me but the fact that i told him I didn't want him around her cause it makes me uncmorfable should have been enough for him to leave.. Sorry for the spelling I'm shaking cause I'm sondamn mad
  • So not wrong.. I would be a raging she-hulk if my husband did that to me right now. If that happened to me, hubby would be sleeping on the couch with no dinner or conversation for a week or more. And I'd probably tell his mom. Just to be really mean about it! But like I said you wouldn't like me when I'm angry! (She-hulk)
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  • It won't happen again? WTF! He knew he shouldn't be doing it but he did it anyway! You can't do something you know is wrong and then expect to get away with only a "sorry." Consequences, baby! His butt deserves to be in the dog house for awhile!
  • I've actually heard a lot of stories of men that cheat on women pregnant with their kid. I know I've been there before. I'm sick at home and big pregnant and he was out mingling and pretending to be single. His excuse was that he could handle my complaining and realizing his coming and going party days are over. I hope this isn't the case for you. Best wishes!
  • No you are not overreacting!!! I would be flipping. DH would be buried in the basement!!!! I credit a large part of my relationship success (8 years together 4 married) to leaving all our ex's where they belong, in the past. We also never make friends with the opposite sex without the other knowing who they are, and having the option of getting to know them.
    BFP #1 5/19/13. EDD 01/20/14. Said goodbye to our Angel baby 6/10/13
    BFP #2 Aug 6th. Hoping to meet our Rainbow baby on or around 4/16/14

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    seannasmommy16BiggerinRealLifedeidremaria[Deleted User]
  • P.S ^^ That post was about my oldest sons dad. No way would my bf now be that stupid. My bad
    seannasmommy16[Deleted User]
  • I really hope he's not cheating. He just walked in the door.. I put a pillow and a blanket on the couch for him. He text and said "guess I'm out here?" I responded with "yup better enjoy you will be there for a while."
    [Deleted User]kateleestar[Deleted User]
  • Not cool, but I might forgive it once. A second time, no way! If my DH did that I'd give it to him straight: "I want to be the one putting on makeup, real clothes, and hanging off your arm, even if it is just Taco Bell! Instead I'm stuck at home bloated and pregnant with OUR child, trying to put OUR daughter to bed. WTF are you thinking?!!"


  • It's simple; if your PAETNER is uncomfortable with ANY friend of yours from the opposite sex you have to respect that and either stop being friends with that person or always have your partner there when hanging out with that friend in an effort to show that you respect your partner. That being said he shouldn't even be hanging out with her especially if you've asked him not to before. Since he insists on playing unfairly I'd do as the above poster suggested and hang out with my ex and say it's not a big deal.
  • Thanks Guy for the support! I'm going to bed and sleeping on it and hope I don't smother him with the pillow in the Morning. :) thanks again. It's really nice to have people when you have no friends. Even if it is online.
  • He messed up. But don't go to bed mad. I wouldn't. I would go there and talk to him and explain one last time.
  • Your boyfriend should absolutely accept anything that makes you uncomfortable as a no go. Ridiculous!
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  • You do not need this stress! That man is your husband and he should be that to you now, more than ever! Hopefully the two of you can talk this out and come to an agreement so that this never happens again because IMO it never should. Hang in there, I also hope you got some sleep! :)
  • Nope. Not overreacting IMO. DH and I never see our exes. That would be way weird, and most of ours didn't end well. I have one that I'm cool with, and in the extremely rare occasion that we see each other DH comes too. Not because we flirt at all, but because it makes DH comfortable. But we have a rule, too, that we don't spend time with friends of the opposite sex alone. Not because anything would happen, but because we always want our marriage to be above reproach. We never want someone to be like, "oh, I saw Christy out with so and so the other day. What do you think was going on?" None of our friends ever had a problem with us all hanging out together. And if any did, well, then thy really have no business hanging out with my husband alone, do they?
    Completely agree with this: Dh and I have the same rule. It has nothing to do with not trusting each other, it's just that a) we don't need other people making assumptions, b) it may be platonic for you but you never know what the other person may be thinking or feeling, and c) most people don't wake up one day and think "I'm going to cheat on my spouse today!". It just happens. So neither of us want to put ourselves in a situation where we aren't putting our marriage first.

    OP I would definitely not be okay with that!! It's super weird that he felt the need for her company at taco bell of all places...
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    Started dating February 6, 2012
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  • Hell no. Occasionally running into ex? Ok. Making plans specifically to hang out with his ex? Absolutely not. He has plenty of other friends!


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  • He messed up. But don't go to bed mad. I wouldn't. I would go there and talk to him and explain one last time.

    This comment is just what all us ryled up pregnant women needed to see. It reminds me of that one friend who know just what to say to keep everyone level headed :-)
  • His priority should be you and the baby. End of story. See how he'd like it if YOU and the baby hang out with an ex of YOURS.
  • I do not think you are being unreasonable about this request, if it makes you uncomfortable as it would make most of us uncomfortable you have a valid point.

    I don't know him so its hard to give advice on how to treat this situation now. I do believe that communication wins out with any personality type and if you are scared of a yelling match meet him somewhere public it helps to keep both parties civil.

    Good luck with this. I was cheated on with my last pregnancy (different father) so even though I trust my bf more than anyone the ugly thought still creeps into my mind. Pregnancy does make us feel more vulnerable and our self esteems take a hit so our thoughts can go a little crazy. Well that's me anyway. :)



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  • That's def not ok! He needs to come home and bring you some Taco Bell too! :) it's def inconsiderate if him.

    Sometimes in discussion with my DH, if he's arguing I'll ask. " do you really not understand why I'm upset? Or why this is not ok"
    Usually he stops and says, yes I guess I do

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  • Well I woke up this morning with a dozen roses and cheesecake. :) but im still a little mad at him. Not as mad as last night
    deidremaria[Deleted User]
  • I wouldn't be cool with that at all.  I am still friends with a few of my exes, but we never hang out-ever.  We have been to events where my exes were there, but my hubby was always with me.  Hope sleeping on the couch makes your man apologetic. 
  • thomas930thomas930
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 250 Answers 500 Love Its
    edited October 2013
    Your life is really dramatic.
    Yeah. Honestly, I am amazed that TB is as friendly and warm to you as it is. I have seen people half as dramatic/ AWish get smoked. 

    Its like the internet version of diplomatic immunity. 
    I am kind of surprised people believe all this drama.
    More like ignoring it now. After all the controversial posts, that really just seemed like trying to stir up drama since they were all one after the other...I just find it AW-ish.

    edit: typing with one hand causes me to leave out words 
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  • It's pretty easy to see she is still trying to hit controversial subjects without just flat out asking since she was called on that. Yesterday it was teen moms and being friends with Exs. Come on people it is so obvious it hurts.
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • It's pretty easy to see she is still trying to hit controversial subjects without just flat out asking since she was called on that. Yesterday it was teen moms and being friends with Exs. Come on people it is so obvious it hurts.

    IDK what to believe but I feel sad for her if its true. It's not an uncommon story...loser baby daddies crossing boundaries
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