ARGH!! I'm a yeller! fix me.

vanceke08

ok, I am all for peaceful parenting. I am gobbling up books and blogs and articles about how to be a peaceful, non-violent, non-yelling parent. Now tell me how you do that with two? my littles are about 20 months and they are in. to. everything. ok, so here's the scene: my boy is standing in front of the TV, throwing blocks at it. I go over to him, get down to eye level, and start the schpiel; "J we do not throw our blocks; blocks are for playing. If you want to throw something, here is something soft you can toss around." Mid peaceful parenting moment I glance up to see that my girl is trying to hang off the blinds like a monkey. Cue parenting moment #2: "M, you may not climb on the blinds; if you want to climb you may--" J is now across the room, pulling the dog around by his tail like it's a rope. "J!! NO! you have to be gentle--" and his sister just knocked over a lamp. "J & M!!!!!! SERIOUSLY??!!! AAARRRRRGGGG!!!!! TIMEOUT!!!!!"  please tell me your mommy secrets; I want to be patient, and quiet, and talk at eye level, and all the things I know you are supposed to do; but how do I do it with two?! TIA

somewhereincali

I'm a big proponent of baby proofing to the max. The fewer things they aren't allowed to touch the better. Because they are just exploring and that is very young to understand what they can and can't do.
Over time they will learn but in the meantime it is so nice to be able to relax and not tell them no don't touch all the time!

LottaLattes

Dude and as much as we all envision ourselves laughing happily while working on arts and crafts together, shizz gets real sometimes and sometimes moms yell. I have 4 boys, they are loud and it takes a little extra to get heard sometimes. And I have NO issue yelling if there is a safety situation. But yes, baby proofing helps tons (aka, the sanatorium), and you can find fun ways to get their little attentions like doing a dance and singing. They don't always need a decision or to be explained why they can't so all the fun stuff, and you can start practicing your mom "no" shaking head now! And sometimes a whisper gets better attention, but it needs to be used sparingly.

Good luck, don't beat yourself up, being a mom is all about coping with the reality we are all a little nuts crazy all day!

kgs0505

I never thought I'd be a yeller, but I am.  All. the. time. at my 2.5 yo singleton.  He tests and tests and tests.  Baby proofing will only get you so far.  Eventually they defeat those things and then you have to teach them to just not drag the chair over to the snack cupboard while Mommy is feeding the babies and get down the puffs (which he is much to old for, yet seems to remember them being awesome), take said container to the table, dump out the entire contents, go over to the sink to helpfully dispose of said container, then go back to the table and say loudly enough for Mommy to hear "Yummy puffs!"  Cue yelling and putting him in immediate timeout while I try to find the container (found the top, but not the container), fail, get out a baggie and scoop up puffs into the baggie to put away, at which point I find said container in the kitchen sink.  Ugh!  And that was last night.  Sooo... yeah, as much as I'd like to take it all calmly, sometimes I am at the end of my rope and I explode.

Darcie Elicia

Girl, I hear you. I have found a lot of good tips on Janet Lansbury's blog. She always helps me put things into perspective. It's not specific to twins, but just good advice.

somewhereincali

kgs0505 said:

I never thought I'd be a yeller, but I am.  All. the. time. at my 2.5 yo singleton.  He tests and tests and tests.  Baby proofing will only get you so far.  Eventually they defeat those things and then you have to teach them to just not drag the chair over to the snack cupboard while Mommy is feeding the babies and get down the puffs (which he is much to old for, yet seems to remember them being awesome), take said container to the table, dump out the entire contents, go over to the sink to helpfully dispose of said container, then go back to the table and say loudly enough for Mommy to hear "Yummy puffs!"  Cue yelling and putting him in immediate timeout while I try to find the container (found the top, but not the container), fail, get out a baggie and scoop up puffs into the baggie to put away, at which point I find said container in the kitchen sink.  Ugh!  And that was last night.  Sooo... yeah, as much as I'd like to take it all calmly, sometimes I am at the end of my rope and I explode.

ah, but hard core babyproofing means you have no movable chairs accessible (the ones you do have are behind a gate) and all the cabinets are locked

kgs0505

somewhereincali said:

kgs0505 said:

I never thought I'd be a yeller, but I am.  All. the. time. at my 2.5 yo singleton.  He tests and tests and tests.  Baby proofing will only get you so far.  Eventually they defeat those things and then you have to teach them to just not drag the chair over to the snack cupboard while Mommy is feeding the babies and get down the puffs (which he is much to old for, yet seems to remember them being awesome), take said container to the table, dump out the entire contents, go over to the sink to helpfully dispose of said container, then go back to the table and say loudly enough for Mommy to hear "Yummy puffs!"  Cue yelling and putting him in immediate timeout while I try to find the container (found the top, but not the container), fail, get out a baggie and scoop up puffs into the baggie to put away, at which point I find said container in the kitchen sink.  Ugh!  And that was last night.  Sooo... yeah, as much as I'd like to take it all calmly, sometimes I am at the end of my rope and I explode.

ah, but hard core babyproofing means you have no movable chairs accessible (the ones you do have are behind a gate) and all the cabinets are locked

If only! My 2.5 yo can climb gates.  He is exceptionally clever.  Not to mention my house is an open concept, so the opening into my kitchen is about 12 ft across.  Haven't found a good solution that is sturdy enough to block it off.  I used to be able to keep him out of the cupboard by removing the door pulls, which worked great for many, many months, until he learned to open it from the bottom.

somewhereincali

kgs0505 said:

somewhereincali said:

kgs0505 said:

I never thought I'd be a yeller, but I am.  All. the. time. at my 2.5 yo singleton.  He tests and tests and tests.  Baby proofing will only get you so far.  Eventually they defeat those things and then you have to teach them to just not drag the chair over to the snack cupboard while Mommy is feeding the babies and get down the puffs (which he is much to old for, yet seems to remember them being awesome), take said container to the table, dump out the entire contents, go over to the sink to helpfully dispose of said container, then go back to the table and say loudly enough for Mommy to hear "Yummy puffs!"  Cue yelling and putting him in immediate timeout while I try to find the container (found the top, but not the container), fail, get out a baggie and scoop up puffs into the baggie to put away, at which point I find said container in the kitchen sink.  Ugh!  And that was last night.  Sooo... yeah, as much as I'd like to take it all calmly, sometimes I am at the end of my rope and I explode.

ah, but hard core babyproofing means you have no movable chairs accessible (the ones you do have are behind a gate) and all the cabinets are locked

If only! My 2.5 yo can climb gates.  He is exceptionally clever.  Not to mention my house is an open concept, so the opening into my kitchen is about 12 ft across.  Haven't found a good solution that is sturdy enough to block it off.  I used to be able to keep him out of the cupboard by removing the door pulls, which worked great for many, many months, until he learned to open it from the bottom.


Thankfully we have a small opening to the kitchen so the gates with no horizontal pieces they can't climb over. The dining room has a large opening so we don't have dining chairs anymore and just eat around the little kitchen table.
The cabinets all have magnetic latches on them which can't be opened by anyone without the magnet which can be stored very high up out of reach even with a chair.

kgs0505

somewhereincali  - Can you share the magnetic latches you use?  We have some latches on most cabinets, but there are a few cabinets where we can't latch them effectively, they just aren't built for them.

somewhereincali

Yes. It's these ones.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000HKVVH4
They work so well, don't know what we would do without them you can't open them without the magnet