Stranger ad BF story

Littlejen22

There was a Mom at my kids' dance school today that I never met before  She got to the school and I was confused because she sat alone and then I assumed her DH was brought the kid when she showed up with a guy.  Well it turns out that was the Dad and they are no longer together.  The Dad and Mom both stayed for the dance class.  They sat near each other and they talked outside the school a little too, they were a few stores down so I do not know if it was friendly or not.  When it was done the Mom said goodbye to the girl and that she would see her tomorrow and when she walked away she turned to me and said something like "that is so hard".  The girl was around 5.  I just said "I bet".  The Mom proceeds to tell me about how it bothers her boyfriend and he does not want the father around.  I said "tough, he does not get to decide".  I asked if the Dad was a good Dad and she quickly said yes.  She told me the Dad has EOW.  She showed me horrible texts from her boyfriend along the lines of, oh if he has her let him keep her, I am not going to put up with her attitude.  And he told her that her DD acts out and does not listen to the Mom because she thinks that the Mom passes her off on her father and that her Mom does not love her. 

I felt so bad for this woman.  I asked if she lives with him and she said not yet but she is moving in with him.  I basically begged her not to until she resolves these issues and not to move in with a guy that wants her to give up her kid so that he does not have to deal with her.  And I told her that there are guys out there that would be supportive.  I wanted to scream WTF are you thinking!!!  Maybe I should have minded my own business but she opened up to me so I think she needed to talk to someone.  I really hope she thinks about what I said.

+just+j+

I'm glad you said something. 

CurlyQ284

Ugh.  Her ex sounds better than her husband.  She needs to dump that guy, ugh.

Littlejen22

Curly, it was only her boyfriend!  She definitely needs to dump the guy but I do not even know this woman's name so I figured I needed to watch how I phrase things if I wanted her to hear me.  If she stays with him I bet her ex has custody before within a month of her moving if she even keeps custody when she moves.  I have never understood how women wind up in these situations because I think I would be smarter (I realize that might not be true) but I saw it today in her eyes.  My assumptions is that she wants to be with someone and thinks this must be it.  I warned her how much harder it will be on her DD if she moves in and then breaks up with him and how she needs to do what is right for her DD.  She said she would talk more next week.

twister22

I just don't understand some people. A child should always trump a BF/GF. Always.

And is the dad Every Other Week or Every Other WeekEnd?

CurlyQ284

Sorry @littlejen. I knew it was BF when I read it but DH was watching this obnoxious show and it jumbled my brain lol.

I don't understand why people date people like that. At a bare minimum its drama you don't need. Then of course the damage he's doing to the child. Ugh. If DH and I were to split up and some guy treated my son like this I would rip his spine out Mortal Kombat style. No effing way.

Littlejen22

Curly, I totally agree.  I know I would be torn about not wanting to be alone and wanting to never date again but I cannot imagine even calling someone back if they said that.  But the look on her face was a battered wife look, I have no idea why her and the Dad split up but I am guessing the fact that she did not type back "F you and never call me again" is that she has no self-esteem.  In the two minute conversation we had I know that he made her second guess her DD knowing she loves her, said she actually asked her DD if she felt that way.  A confident woman would not have asked her DD and would have told him to F off.

jess9802

How depressing. I'm glad you said something, too.

Littlejen22

twister22 said:

I just don't understand some people. A child should always trump a BF/GF. Always.

And is the dad Every Other Week or Every Other WeekEnd?

I told ER my DH originally had EOWE and she said that is what he has too. But I was confused by that because today was Monday so I don't really know and it is possible he was getting an extra day.