Baby on the brain...

TheNewMrs0907

So Hubby and I have been together for 6yrs, recently married last month. I am younger than him, and the topic has come up many times " when do you want to have kids?" I, in all fairness, wanted to wait until we were married to start a family, but I keep thinking he is still wants to wait a while. He already has 2 daughters, and would like to have a son, so I know he is ready but when is still the difficult question. I work at a maternity clothing store so I always have baby on the brain. Now that we are married how do I bring it up without being to pushy

laleighmoore

Wish I could give you some advice.... until 3 days ago I was a firm believer that men would never say YES I WANT A BABY and now I still don't know WTH is going on in their heads.
Highly recommend just telling him how you feel.... I can't say he won't feel pressured since my own DH suggested stopping BCP but immediately appeared panicked when I brought up taking prenatals. Shoot.... maybe all the times I brought up wanting to stop the pill he really was listening afterall.

Are there any men lurking out there who can shed some light????? lol

capinjen152

Also, it's recommended that ALL women of child bearing age take prenatal vitamins, so it's not weird to take when not pregnant.

Jolaine83

DH claims he was never 'ready' until each kid was born.  He hates change. But once he realized financially we could do it, he just let me make the call.  He knew if we waited until he was 'ready' we'd never have kids.  FWIW, he's had no regrets.

I'm sorry. It's a tough position to be in with baby fever rearing and constant reminders.

bugandbibs

capinjen152 said:

Also, it's recommended that ALL women of child bearing age take prenatal vitamins, so it's not weird to take when not pregnant.

This. Plus, you know you aren't guaranteed to have a boy right?

TheNewMrs0907

yes I know it may not be a boy but the sex of the baby doesn't matter to us.... Just saying he already has 2, so..... It is a difficult topic, so that's why I was asking advice! but thank you, have a good evening everybody! 

SmileyJay

I think the issue is complex because he already has two children. Also, what if you have a daughter? It is more likely since he already fathered two.

I think a marriage should be open without pressure. You should be able to plainly tell him you are ready to be a mother to his child, without him feeling pressure to make that happen for you. You just need to have a few open honest conversations to understand where each of you is coming from. You should also make sure to tell him you are not pressuring him and that it is his decision, but you are all aboard when he is ready. It goes without saying but he should be prepared for the possibility of having a 3rd daughter as well.

obxlaurak

I don't understand why it's so hard for women to talk to their husbands.

It's easy.

"Husband, I am thinking X about having kids.  Based on our ages/finances/employment status/relationship status, etc. I think a perfect time to start trying is Y.  What do you think?"

Just open up the dialogue.