Any experiences with ADHD?

bossyfnp

I have a 14 yo stepson who is in attentive, does poorly in school, lacks motivation? Yet he is a good person,not disruptive. I feel he suffers from ADHD, I suspected it long ago when he was 9. Spoke my concerns with his father, almost got him to speak with someone. But then my DH said no he'll be alright and his mom was of course against it. (Side note: it's was brought to his moms attention when he was very young that he has this and may need to be medicated but she just took him outta the school). He's had trouble in grade school, was a little bit of a class clown, had problems with not turning in work,even when he does it. Grades suffer, but with extra help and teachers that looked put for him he was able to pull thru. Even during this time, I ask his father if we can do counseling, bc I felt that he could benefit from it. Got the appt made...and then DH said to cancel it. Now my stepson is a freshman in high school and it has come back full force...grade are suffering badly. Teachers wanted to meet with the family and of course his mother didn't tell us, and she couldn't make it so she canceled it which makes me sooo mad because his father was off and could have went. I'm going to schedule a counseling session and go from there. Will they look into inattentive ADHD? I also think the inconsistencies make it worse, going back between both houses. Rules not staying consistent, his mom treats him more like a friend. We seem to set rules. I just think there's soo much we can do for him, but I feel each time I try to step in, it's like a road block. Thanks for reading

Pamelacake

When 10 yo DS was in K the teacher would not leave me alone about getting him tested for ADD. I didn't see the things she was talking about at home. I went into her office one day and there was like a 2 way mirror, I could see him but he didn't know I was there. It was like he was a totally different kid. I watched him more closely at home but still didn't see anything like what he was doing in that classroom. I honestly didn't think it was ADD because that isn't something he can just turn off once he gets off of the bus!

I brought these concerns up to his 1st grade teacher before school started. She ended up seeing it at school too. I started seeing it when he wasn't turning in homework. I didn't understand that one bc some days he had none, or so I thought(it was later being found on the bus, After he got caught trying to throw it away at school). That was when I had him evaluated. I was so scared to have him on any medications so I looked into homeschooling which I didn't have time for since I was working, Things to eliminate from his diet.. everything. His teachers kept telling me "He is such a bright boy, he just doesn't want to do his work"

I finally agreed to have him put on the medication and he is a straight A student and also reads on his own.

16yo SS has a severe case of it and has had some really bad reactions to the medications. A lot of them make him a very angry kid. I don't know all details. I haven't been with DH that long but have known his kids their whole lives. It has seemed to calmed down a lot in the past year though. He is also doing better in school and wants to be involved in things.  

7yo SD was recently diagnosed with ADHD and is not being treated for it as of yet. She doesn't have it bad and has many other things going on so she is good for now. Also, DH doesn't want her on any medication for it BC he doesn't want her to have the same reactions as 16yo SS did. He has seen the way the medication helped DS and he isn't as opposed to it but it isn't effecting her schoolwork or home so we still keep an eye on it and she sees a counselor but no medication for her for now.

I didn't know ADHD was something that could come and go. But I am not a DR or Psychiatrist.

 

 

 

sweetie0228

You will get better responses on the Special Needs board.

But as the Stepmom and without both parents in agreement you are stuck.  It probably doesn't come and go but more like there are "accomdations" made at home where you, your H and his mother are avoiding holding him accountable, or give him more time, less directions, talk to him in shorter sentences or plain don't expect a lot at home from him.

Seeing how he acts with his peers is a better gage.

The teachers and the school are not doctors.  Your H and/or his mother will have to write a letter to the school requesting testing from their school psychiactrist. They then have 60 school days to complete the request.  Then they can work with his parents to create an IEP for supports and accommodations at school. For medications and a treatment plan he will need to see perferably a child psychiarist or developmental peditrician.

Page Auntie or lurk over on the special needs board.  They deal with ADHD a lot.

My son has both ADHD and Autism Spectrum.  He does well with medications to focus, hear the whole sentance, follow directions.   He says it makes him feel like he can be on the outside who he is on the inside.  But it's not for everyone and if you are have parents in denial and going to the extreme of pulling him out of school to not even hear of it.  You are fighting a losing battle.

In you position, I would educate myself the best I could and try to find strategies to help.

 

But really

queenteresa30

It is a hard thing to deal with. My 13yr old DD has been medicated since 3rd grade. The first step i would suggest is behavior modification and reinforcemnet for getting stuff done and in on time. It can be a process but that is what i started with when my then husband refused to see there was a problem, she improved marginally with this. I kept documentation on all her issues and comunicated alot with her teachers. When i felt i had enough i took that to her father and showed him what was going on. We had her tested and found out that she had a HIGH IQ but due to her adhd and organizational skills getting in the way she was not reaching her full potential. It took me until about a year ago to get the right combination of meds. Then after she started with some intense SIB stuff I found out she also has PTSD from watching the domestic violence in our home and trying to protect her little bro from it. I divorced her father 2 yrs ago. So came another 6 months of trying to get the right med combo for both. Hang in there document and try what you can with out meds cause unless BOTH his parents agree to meds it ain't gonna happen

sweetie0228

check out the special needs board too.