The upside is that I don't have to worry about both my kids running in different directions. I don't have to worry about being talked back to, or my kids repeating inappropriate words. I don't have to worry about the local schools because they attend private SN schools.
To my boys: I will love you for you Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you I will give you the love The love that you never knew
I'm in a bit of a dark place so it's hard for me to find upsides right now. But one thing I can say is that my son's autism has certainly made me a better professional (I'm a neuropsychologist). Not only do I know WAY more about autism than I ever wish I did, but I can relate to the parents of the children I see with special needs in a much more real way.
The upside to having delayed fine motor skills is that my son never did many of the things as a toddler that most parents complain about. He never unbuckled himself from his car seat, he never unhooked the cabinet latches, he never took off his diaper, he never undressed himself, he never opened the door and wandered outside, he never played in my makeup, he never tried to play with knives, he never tried to stick anything in the electrical outlets.
The upside to his processing issues is that he takes in EVERYTHING he hears and somehow retains quite a bit of it. So for instance, if I think aloud when making my shopping list, he knows it, backwards and forwards. He will inventory the cart, see everything in it and make sure that we have everything I mentioned that we needed. Totally awesome to have a kid like that, because I forget half the things on the list most days.
The upside of having a kid who has to touch everything, and then put it in his mouth, is that his immune system is a total rock star. This kid never gets sick. Runs fever *maybe* once or twice a year, and it has never been over 101.5. Cousins came over with hand, foot and mouth a few weeks ago. He never got it. (I am totally jinxing myself with that one, I know).
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The upside of a child who does very well with scripted, predictable conversation like introductions and please/thank you exchanges is that she has excellent manners. She never forgets because it's the one part of conversation that is relatively easy for her.
The upside of a child who gets stuck on a task is that sometimes I can just let DD sit at the kitchen table and happily and quietly draw pictures for an hour.
We started DS's ABA therapy this week. The most the insurance will cover is 15 hours and we got 13 hours a week of ABA! The ABA therapist will come on Saturdays! I am walking on sunshine! I am going to admit that I am glad DS has so much therapy that we will see less and less of my annoying MIL.
She loves to pop visits and thinks we have to drop everything we are doing for her to come over. DH was caught ditching speech 2 times because of MIL and the SLP said she was not there to provide service to DS those 2 times. DH is in the clear those 2 times.
MIL will have to schedule her visits like the rest of the therapists. My MIL is coming over for a chair while DS is getting therapy tomorrow morning. DH is going to have to tell her she can't see DS tomorrow.
The upside to having a kid who is a rule-follower is that I never had to child proof anything. Yesterday DS picked up my sewing scissors and carefully laid them on the counter and admonished me not to leave them lying around where the kitties could get hurt. He also is not a bookcase scaler, treat stealer, or biter/hitter. When we tell him he can watch one cartoon before bed, he'll obediently bring the Ipad out to us when his cartoon is done and say good night. When he was younger we would put him in his crib and say "close your eyes and go to sleep" and I swear, he'd close his eyes and we wouldn't hear a peep from him all night.
The upside to DS not interested in pretend play is that I still get to pick his Halloween costume for him. I'm sewing him an Angry Birds costume.
The upside to low-tone, always tired, is that he will always go to bed early, sleep in when we want him to, and nap when we want him to (or when WE need a nap!)
The upside to having delayed fine motor skills is that my son never did many of the things as a toddler that most parents complain about. He never unbuckled himself from his car seat, he never unhooked the cabinet latches, he never took off his diaper, he never undressed himself, he never opened the door and wandered outside, he never played in my makeup, he never tried to play with knives, he never tried to stick anything in the electrical outlets.
The upside to DS needing an advocate is I've started growing a spine. My level for tolerating BS has dropped dramatically and my people pleasing tendencies and not being a bother have flown out the window (to a realistic degree. I maintain a high level of professionalism with his school and providers). With friends and family I've just stopped putting in the effort with those who don't return it. And I don't feel bad about it.
I'm in a bit of a dark place so it's hard for me to find upsides right now. But one thing I can say is that my son's autism has certainly made me a better professional (I'm a neuropsychologist). Not only do I know WAY more about autism than I ever wish I did, but I can relate to the parents of the children I see with special needs in a much more real way.
Absolutely (SLP here). DS made me a better therapist and gave me the ambition to pursue my PhD and investigate Dx and Tx.
The upside to DS needing an advocate is I've started growing a spine. My level for tolerating BS has dropped dramatically and my people pleasing tendencies...... With friends and family I've just stopped putting in the effort with those who don't return it. And I don't feel bad about it.
This completely. It's team DD or get out, I finally understand where my parents' priorities were/are and can keep DD away from that no matter what it takes.
Also, finding out it is in the genetic tree - my brother's daughter is SPD and my sister's son is behavioral/anxiety (ADHD I think, no one talks dx) - so even if we don't all talk about it, we all know our parents don't accept it and that we are not alone in the holidays.
Upside to many appointments - not feeling bad for "spoiling" here and there. I have also learned to hang on to gift cards for months at a time now...for the both of us
The upside to DS not talking much yet is that I have never heard him tell me the infamous "No!". Granted I would give about anything to hear it, but still...
The upside to his stereotypy is that I never have a doubt when he is excited about something. My MIL called it his "happy hands"...and I like that way of looking at it.
The upside of this trip back home, which is sometimes hard seeing him with NT cousins his same age, is that i am getting some real perspective on how far he has come since Easter (when we were last here). WTG, D!
I feel like I got a really long time in the baby stage. Dd is 2.5 but developmentally mostly 1.5 (with some scattered higher level skills) so I feel like I got an extra year of baby-hood.
@KC_13@justinlove@auntie
One of the parents on a corpus callosum list serve i am on says that parents should think of the 20's as the teens so they can adjust their expectations. It IS kinda nice to have your baby longer.
The upside to having our very own "police officer" (DS1) is that he gets way more practice than most with his spelling words and sounding things out while constantly writing us tickets. He also gets "cheap" riding lessons (equine therapy) which is something that he loves and would otherwise be expensive.
The upside to having a faliure to thrive child is that he's able to wear the same clothes for multiple seasons. DS3 will be rocking his 0-9month scarecrow costume again this year since he is roughly 2lbs heavier than he was when he wore it the first time around.
The upside of one of DS's arms being weaker than the other: we only have to restrain one hand when putting him down to sleep. (He likes to pull his paci out to resist sleep.)
@Rink08
I hear you on the FTT bonus! DD1 could wear the same size clothes and shoes for-ever! I could buy her expensive shoes and feel justified that she would be in them for a long time. Meanwhile, DD2 is flying though the sizes.
The upside to ds2 having down syndrome is that I have met many new people in the last year and courtesy of our "Mom's night outs" I actually have some semblance of a social life.
The upside of ds1 having aspergers: the supper table conversation is anything but boring. Dh is getting through to ds1 that sources are a very important part of a debate and so they can get some very interesting debates going. Plus, ds1 and dh love to try to out-pun each other. Words are toys around our table.
Y
I'm a fan of The Cloth Diaper Tech Support group on Facebook
The upside of having a kid who rarely wants to interact with his peers is that he's never the one pushing and shoving and getting out I control at the playground.
The advantage of having a strict rule-follower and a structure-lover for a child is that he is adored by his teachers. He has perfect behavior charts every week, every year, his whole life thus far.
The upside to having a kid with a neverending energy supply and resulting neverending hyperactivity (think jumping bean - no I'm serious), is that he can eat like a teenage boy and be rail thin. No worrying about watching calories with that one!
The upside of DS#2's anxiety is that he never gets into anything he shouldn't. The upside to DS#1 being so hyper is that he is wiped out by night time and sleeps amazing.
Adrian 7.6.07 - ADHD, Disruptive Behavior Disorder, Learning Disability-NOS Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
My upset to having a dd with ASD is I always have someone's opinion I know is honest. She doesn't sugar coat it for me. Bad hair day, she tells me. It's a little hard to hear, mama you look weird, go fix it. But when I hear mama, you look pretty I know I look good that day lol!
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Re: The upside of......thread
I just bought one if those insulated straw tumblers and am loving it.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
She loves to pop visits and thinks we have to drop everything we are doing for her to come over. DH was caught ditching speech 2 times because of MIL and the SLP said she was not there to provide service to DS those 2 times. DH is in the clear those 2 times.
MIL will have to schedule her visits like the rest of the therapists. My MIL is coming over for a chair while DS is getting therapy tomorrow morning. DH is going to have to tell her she can't see DS tomorrow.
I've got a lot of these!
The upside to having a kid who is a rule-follower is that I never had to child proof anything. Yesterday DS picked up my sewing scissors and carefully laid them on the counter and admonished me not to leave them lying around where the kitties could get hurt. He also is not a bookcase scaler, treat stealer, or biter/hitter. When we tell him he can watch one cartoon before bed, he'll obediently bring the Ipad out to us when his cartoon is done and say good night. When he was younger we would put him in his crib and say "close your eyes and go to sleep" and I swear, he'd close his eyes and we wouldn't hear a peep from him all night.
The upside to DS not interested in pretend play is that I still get to pick his Halloween costume for him. I'm sewing him an Angry Birds costume.
The upside to low-tone, always tired, is that he will always go to bed early, sleep in when we want him to, and nap when we want him to (or when WE need a nap!)
I have this exact same upside!
DS 09/2008
This completely. It's team DD or get out, I finally understand where my parents' priorities were/are and can keep DD away from that no matter what it takes.
Also, finding out it is in the genetic tree - my brother's daughter is SPD and my sister's son is behavioral/anxiety (ADHD I think, no one talks dx) - so even if we don't all talk about it, we all know our parents don't accept it and that we are not alone in the holidays.
Upside to many appointments - not feeling bad for "spoiling" here and there. I have also learned to hang on to gift cards for months at a time now...for the both of us
The upside to his stereotypy is that I never have a doubt when he is excited about something. My MIL called it his "happy hands"...and I like that way of looking at it.
The upside of this trip back home, which is sometimes hard seeing him with NT cousins his same age, is that i am getting some real perspective on how far he has come since Easter (when we were last here). WTG, D!
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
My Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
The upside to having a faliure to thrive child is that he's able to wear the same clothes for multiple seasons. DS3 will be rocking his 0-9month scarecrow costume again this year since he is roughly 2lbs heavier than he was when he wore it the first time around.
Our Family Blog Weightloss Blog
The upside to ds2 having down syndrome is that I have met many new people in the last year and courtesy of our "Mom's night outs" I actually have some semblance of a social life.
The upside of ds1 having aspergers: the supper table conversation is anything but boring. Dh is getting through to ds1 that sources are a very important part of a debate and so they can get some very interesting debates going. Plus, ds1 and dh love to try to out-pun each other. Words are toys around our table.
Y
I'm a fan of The Cloth Diaper Tech Support group on Facebook
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder