New here!! Intro and any help appreciated!!

bdunkin

So...DH and I have been together over 4 years and he has 2 daughters. One is 7 the other is 5, when we met they had just turned 4 and the littlest was just shy of 2. They were babies! Their mom had been in and out since the littlest was 1 and had hit the road with her new BF shortly thereafter. She has since moved back and if you're a step mom that's dealt with custody you understand how "fun" the past couple years have been! BUT my point is that I've had them since they were babies and have loved and cared for them as if it had had them myself!!! I spend more time with them than anyone else, combined! So even though this will be my first birth baby, really it's my third...

Introducing a new baby to siblings is hard enough without them being "step" and I've tried my best to make this THEIR sister and make them feel as included and special as possible. (We do not use "step" "half" anything other than this is YOUR SISTER) But this week their jealousy just of eachother has been out of control! What's going to happen in March?!?

How are any of you ladies handling this and working to smooth the transition?

fellesferie

My kids are both bio, but the jealousy stuff just comes in cycles. It's a normal part of siblings getting along (or not getting along). 

DS (8) is sometimes DD's (3) best friend. Other times they're mortal enemies and he rages because she doesn't have to do xyz or she gets to abc. 

Maybe start preparing them for how infants require a lot more attention and time than older kids. Talk about how things will not be equal but you will be as fair as possible. And make sure to plan fun things where the older kids get a lot of attention. Other than that, don't worry about it. They'll have their jealous moments, and there's not much you can or should do about it. 

CurlieWhirlie

I struggle with this sometimes, too. Fellesferie is spot-on with her excellent reminder that rivalry and jealousy are totally normal with any siblings in any kind of family, intact or blended or otherwise. 

I have a DS who is 4, and every other weekend we have SO's boys who are 7 and 9, and it's hard not to view their rivalry through the "blended" lens. My mother is constantly reminding me that my brother and I were exactly the same, and it's really more about kids than it is about "step" or "half" anything. We've got another one coming in April, too!