May I join in the on rants? (BFP mentioned not mine)

formerwigirl

I know we have had a few rants recently and I need to add in mine if I may. The back story real quick is that my DH is a twin and all of his family lives 1200 miles away from us. We are the only ones of both of our families who live where we do. Anyways his twin is married to this horrible woman. She was in the picture before I met my DH, they were married the year I met him. Well I kept trying to make an effort to become friends with her even though we didn't see each other a lot. Yeah that didn't work and she's just a really nasty person. Well then we both had problems with IF except she had 2 miscarriages and I haven't ever been pregnant. We had a family event up there this spring and I tried to connect with her. She said "its not the same, I can at least get pregnant, you can't". I felt so hurt that the whole time I just tried to stay away from her and my other SIL (she had a baby that's why we were there). Its been okay for the last few months because out of sight out of mind.

Well last night my DH got a call from his brother that they are now about 6 weeks pregnant. I feel like its a kick in the gut because I am sure she's going to be really snarky and hold this over me now too. I don't want to have these awful feelings but she's just been so nasty to me the whole time I have known her. Also who announces at 6 weeks? Is it wrong of me to say I don't want to go up for the christening? Its not just because of her, because my family is also up north and we haven't been up to see them in 2 years. We really can't afford trips up to see both families every year. So we went up to see his family this year. I miss my family and friends and want to see them next year. Now because of the pregnancy I feel like we are obligated to go up and see his family again. I have no desire to go especially because of how she has treated me. Is this completely wrong? Am I going completely crazy because of IF? Okay I am done. Trying to go back to thinking out of sight out of mind.  Thanks for letting me rant.

ky29

I'm sorry.  First of all, saying "I can get pregnant, you can't" is horrible!

I believe, you have to look our for yourself in this situation.  If it's going to be too hard for you, don't go.  Especially if you haven't been able to see your family in a couple years!  I'm avoiding a baby shower next weekend, because it hits too close to home for me for a couple reasons.  I should go, but I'm going to do what's best for me. 

If I were you, I would save up the money and visit your friends and family next year.  I think that would be much easier on you. 

Good luck!!

ErinSays

What a terrible, wretched woman. She has to feel superior to the point of throwing miscarriages in your face?! Seriously, it must be a nightmare to be her.

You are not obligated to go, especially given her bad behavior. You deserve a happy trip to see your family and friends. If the situations were reversed, would she make a special trip to see you?

PPoppy2010

Jenn.... F@#$K her....  

Seriously... I wouldnt even think twice about going to anything... that has to do with someone who is nasty to me.. Pregnant... Marriage... divorce... what ever they are celebrating... She is a Biotch... and not worth your time or energy...

hope2bmom83

I agree with the other girls, why make an effort when she obviously has no intention to.  I'm not even going to a family party an hour and a half away because of babies and pregnancies so I definitely wouldn't travel 1200 miles.  You would think someone who has had IF troubles would be more sensitive.  Also, having had numerous m/c previously why would they announce at 6 weeks.  On the flip side all I will say is be prepared that this could make your relationship worse with her.  Good Luck with your decision.

gsancho

She sounds miserable.  Don't go - being around her will just make the relationship worse!  It's normal to feel guilty and like you have to be around for the "big moments" like that, but she sounds so selfish, she's probably barely thinking of you guys anyways.  And if she says something negative for you guys not visiting right away, it seems like she would be saying negative things regardless of the situation anyways...so why stress yourself out over it.

brittneyandadam

Go see your family and have a good time. You don't need to let awful ppl like her into your life unless it's absolutely necessary. Be there for your BIL and your new niece/nephew...they'll need you to balance out that crappy woman.

Cutiecruz327

What a bitch!!! I am so sorry. I think other PPs covered the rest.

formerwigirl

This is why I love you all so much. Thanks for the comments. I know this could make things worse so I am going to take it as it comes. Thanks again!!

1Baby4Me

Wow ... I can't believe how insensitive people can be. I am so sorry she said that to you. I would completely avoid her and the christening but being that this is your sister-in-law I would thread lightly. I would want to avoid a family war at all cost. This is your family and you know what you can get away with. Definately talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling and come to an agreement on how to handle this situation. I know how sticky this could get. I haven't spoken to my cousin in 6 months all because of his B*+€# wife. Good luck. ::HUGS::