Lean In or Maxed Out

CaniacMom

I am reading two books about women & the workplace - Sheryl Sandberg's 'Lean In' & Katrina Alcorn's 'Maxed out - American Moms at the Brink'.

Right now Maxed Out describes me.  

Has anyone else read both books - any insights about these books?

MamaBovs

I've not read (or even heard of) Maxed Out - I will definitely check it out!  I did read Lean In and really enjoyed it.  Definitely didn't agree with everything she said, but thought it was interesting and she made some good points.

Mrs_Lady

Nope but i plan on checking it out

Nechie122

I enjoyed Lean In too and haven't read the other. It's actually not about "how women should pursue leadership positions;" I mean, that's part of it, but it's more about how women shouldn't sell themselves short, and why they shouldn't drop out of the workforce.

I don't really feel "Maxed Out." One thing I appreciated about Lean In is that she spent a lot of time acknowledging that moms and dads are a partnership. So this whole "American *Moms* at the brink" doesn't ring true to me when I have a DH who has a hot meal waiting for me when I get home everyday.

I guess I'm more Lean In because I'm passionate about a lot of the issues she writes about.

groovygrl

Lean in is not really just about women wanting leadership, pp might still be interested in it from the aspect of women just generally being more assertive & thinking ahead about options instead of 'leaning out' b/c they feel like they don't have options... (I might not be explaining htat well)
I also really enjoyed it and I don't aspire to my boss's job b/c it requires specific degrees & experience I don't have and don't want but I see continued leaderships or promotions off in my future (even if not at the same workplace), possibly when kids are older, etc, so Lean in still applies...

Haven't heard about maxed out, I will have to look it up!

rubber_chicken

I'm halfway through Lean In and have enjoyed it so far.  Some of the things have really hit home, especially about how women tend to lack confidence that men take for granted - a woman won't apply for a job because she doesn't have 100% of the qualifications, but a man will apply if he only has 60% etc. 

I haven't heard of Maxed Out.  I don't feel Maxed Out, although we're talking about a second, and I'm scared if we go for it, I will be!

dglvrk2

Nechie122 said:

I enjoyed Lean In too and haven't read the other. It's actually not about "how women should pursue leadership positions;" I mean, that's part of it, but it's more about how women shouldn't sell themselves short, and why they shouldn't drop out of the workforce. I don't really feel "Maxed Out." One thing I appreciated about Lean In is that she spent a lot of time acknowledging that moms and dads are a partnership. So this whole "American *Moms* at the brink" doesn't ring true to me when I have a DH who has a hot meal waiting for me when I get home everyday. I guess I'm more Lean In because I'm passionate about a lot of the issues she writes about.

This!  

I'm in the middle of "Lean In" right now and loving it.  A few of my girlfriends were critical of the book.  However, it's speaking to me.

While work can be draining sometimes, I don't feel "maxed" chronically. I have to give props to DH too.  He's a huge help.  We have somewhat different work schedules and demands.  This actually leads to some flexibility with parenting.  (eg. he can work from home if DD is ill and I'm off by 4 most days, so I have evenings free for DD/family) I'm looking to advance my career more.  He's agreed to cut back to so our kids (#2 is due in January) don't have more time with a sitter if/when this happens.   

unm00red

I've read Lean In and thought she made a couple of good points about ways women "check out" or sabotage themselves in the work place.  Admittedly, she has a level of wealth to make it easier to hire additional support, but I wasn't nearly as up in arms about that as a lot of the backlash I've seen about the book online.

I'm just reading Maxed Out right now based on your mention, and so far, I can relate pretty closely.  Although, in my case, there haven't been panic attacks.  Just more wine drinking in the evenings than I'd probably like to admit. 

Both I and my partner work pretty high demand, senior level IT jobs.  We have a toddler who is special needs and a teenager who went through a rough patch last year.  While I take satisfaction from job most days, I definitely don't think what I'm currently doing is sustainable for much longer.

CaniacMom

The one thing I am really enjoying about Maxed Out is the section at the end of each chapter that highlights what is making the workplace difficult for mothers/parents.  The lack of paid maternity leave, lack of paid sick time, etc.  

I don't think (well at least I hope that I won't) I would end up having panic attacks.  I have been stressed the past few weeks without DH around - I am home with a 16yo & a 2yo alone.  I know I need to start de-cluttering my house & then find people to do the work that needs to be done so that we can put it on the market to sell it.  I also then have to pack it up so I can move halfway across the country.  At the same time I need to be on my A game at work so they will consider keeping me on when I move.

  

iverske9

I read Lean IN and loved it, and I am finishing one more book and then going to read Maxed out. I will let you know :-)

laurakaz13

I definitely don't feel maxed out.  Busy, sure.  But I feel really fulfilled in pretty much all aspects of my life right now.  I really need to read 'Lean In'. 

mae0111

I haven't read Lean In yet.  I'm in the middle of Maxed Out, and it's speaking to me.  My job function is very similar to the author's, with similar demands and stresses.  I'm really relating to what I'm reading.  For example, her boss recommended that she hire a mother's helper to get her through the evenings so she can work more.  That's a common perception here as well.  But I refuse to give up the limited time I have with my kids in order to stay at work longer.  It makes me think I wasn't wired for this type of senior level role.

rubber_chicken

mae0111 said:

For example, her boss recommended that she hire a mother's helper to get her through the evenings so she can work more.  That's a common perception here as well.  But I refuse to give up the limited time I have with my kids in order to stay at work longer.  It makes me think I wasn't wired for this type of senior level role.

I would be insanely offended if a manager suggested that to me.  I'm not interested in my manager's opinions of my home life. And if there's too much work to be done in a day, then hire a second person.  Don't expect me to live at my desk.

aglenn

CTGirl30 said:

Mom of 2 here (one being 4mo). I'm definately at capacity...maybe not maxed out, but things were a lot easier with only one.

Yeah, this.  With one it was a lot more manageable.  I'm not at nervous breakdown level but I can't say that I can't relate to that, either.  My kids are the opposite of mellow, though, so that is part of it.  I haven't read Maxed Out but added it to my list.  I think I can relate to both perspectives, really.

mae0111

rubber_chicken said:

mae0111 said:

For example, her boss recommended that she hire a mother's helper to get her through the evenings so she can work more.  That's a common perception here as well.  But I refuse to give up the limited time I have with my kids in order to stay at work longer.  It makes me think I wasn't wired for this type of senior level role.

I would be insanely offended if a manager suggested that to me.  I'm not interested in my manager's opinions of my home life. And if there's too much work to be done in a day, then hire a second person.  Don't expect me to live at my desk.

I don't think anyone would actually suggest it here, but there are folks that have a series of nannies to care for their kids so that they can come in early and work late.  One woman was talking about putting her 6 year old IN A CAB ALONE to get her to school 30 minutes away.  She is one person who simply doesn't understand my desire to leave at a reasonable time and spend my evenings with my family.

st.augbride

mae0111 said:

rubber_chicken said:

mae0111 said:

For example, her boss recommended that she hire a mother's helper to get her through the evenings so she can work more.  That's a common perception here as well.  But I refuse to give up the limited time I have with my kids in order to stay at work longer.  It makes me think I wasn't wired for this type of senior level role.

I would be insanely offended if a manager suggested that to me.  I'm not interested in my manager's opinions of my home life. And if there's too much work to be done in a day, then hire a second person.  Don't expect me to live at my desk.

I don't think anyone would actually suggest it here, but there are folks that have a series of nannies to care for their kids so that they can come in early and work late.  One woman was talking about putting her 6 year old IN A CAB ALONE to get her to school 30 minutes away.  She is one person who simply doesn't understand my desire to leave at a reasonable time and spend my evenings with my family.

I truly hope that was a joke!

virginiagirl11

CTGirl30 said:

Mom of 2 here (one being 4mo). I'm definately at capacity...maybe not maxed out, but things were a lot easier with only one.

My kids are pretty much the same ages as yours and I gotta +1 this. Except I really am maxed out. I am maxed the f out. DH is self-employed, though, which I think is less common. But it makes it so that we run down to zero and often into the negatives both mentally and physically on a daily basis.