You're not funny

mydixiewrecked

That was what I was just told by a Mom on our local FB Mom's page. She posted new to the area and she has a 7 month old. She is looking for other "nice Mommies" to have a play date with. I welcomed her,and told her I have a 9 month old. I said I wasn't sure if I was a Nice Mommy,I would have to ask my kids. She replied back that she only wants to play date with Mom's of 1 kid and that my comment wasn't funny. Should I offer her a cocktail, or just direct her the bump SAHM board. Eh,at least he gave me a good laugh.

LoveActually4

I'd reply, on the mommy page, with this:

You're a whore an I feel bad for your husband.

SpaceGirlSpiff

The proper reply would be a cuntpunt, but that may be difficult through the interwebs

jorkz821

"Oh."

mydixiewrecked

@mamaREB29 you just made me snort. The Moms in this town would clutch their walmart pearls so tight if I posted that.

mydixiewrecked

Well,she's missing out,I cook like a mofo and  I always have Vodka. Her loss.

LoveActually4

amberdb72 said:

@mamaREB29 you just made me snort. The Moms in this town would clutch their walmart pearls so tight if I posted that.

Wouldn't it feel great though? I'm on a couple of those Mommy boards and I think it would be liberating for someone to start calling people out and throwing some cuntpunts in there.

NotSharknado

Looks like you dodged a bullet.

virgin4lyfe

I can't even imagine taking the internet THAT seriously. Like I know people do but "I only want to have playdates for one and you're not funny" is just... weird.

CinemaGoddess

No wonder she doesn't have any friends.  

mydixiewrecked

@mamaREB29 yes it would. I am really trying to make an effort to find Connor some baby friends now that he is older and "plays". I already netbattled some twatsicle that said some shitty untrue things about my friends hair salon here in town. Maybe I should just join a damn Dad's group,I like poker and beer and I have been known to fart.

SpaceGirlSpiff

Lo-effing-l at twatsicle

klondikebar

I have a feeling her schedule is going to be wide open for a while.

mydixiewrecked

Holy shit,she has like 6 replies from people that want to make playdates with Mom's of only one kid.I need out of this town,like yesterday. Is there a stigma about having more than 1 kid I am not aware of?

shadypines

People are stupid!!!! (:|

thetheisens

She sounds like fun. You should now BEG that she allows you to play date her so you guys can be BFFs for lyfe.

thetheisens

OR send her an Adam and Eve coupon and direction to the nearest liquor store.

RondackHiker

Where do you live? I'll be your new BFF. I love food and vodka and while I don't have a baby your LO's age, I do have a dog he can climb on.

shadypines

amberdb72 said:

Well,she's missing out,I cook like a mofo and  I always have Vodka. Her loss.

Address please!

<:-P

mydixiewrecked

@RondackHiker hell yeah! We can eat all the food and drink all the vodka! I'm in  a sad little "bedroom community" south of Phoenix. I am just blown away by this thread on the local page.My kids are awesome too. Guess I better break the news to my 10 year old DD that she is the reason I can't have nice mommy friends.

nanabanana06

She sounds like a fun person... not. I'm on some of those mommy FB groups. Oh lord are they soooo fun.
8-|

mydixiewrecked

@ThisIsBrea

klondikebar

I had to look up what a bedroom community was. It sounded so intriguing and naughty. I was ready to pack my bags. Commuter community. Oh.

RondackHiker

KlondikeBar said:

I had to look up what a bedroom community was. It sounded so intriguing and naughty. I was ready to pack my bags. Commuter community. Oh.

I was just about to admit I didn't know what a bedroom community was.

I'm in western Massachusetts. That's a long drive for playdates, even ones with vodka.

klondikebar

amberdb72 said:

@RondackHiker hell yeah! We can eat all the food and drink all the vodka! I'm in  a sad little "bedroom community" south of Phoenix. I am just blown away by this thread on the local page.My kids are awesome too. Guess I better break the news to my 10 year old DD that she is the reason I can't have nice mommy friends.

You know what is funny? She could have gotten to know you and your DD well and had a nice sitter a few years down the road. There is a benefit to knowing people with older children.

mydixiewrecked

@KlondikeBar if you looked at our local "personals" craigslist you would think this town is full of debauchery. It is seriously a very boring little town.

mydixiewrecked

WHY do all the fun bumpies live so far away from me?!
(

mydixiewrecked

KlondikeBar said:

amberdb72 said:

@RondackHiker hell yeah! We can eat all the food and drink all the vodka! I'm in  a sad little "bedroom community" south of Phoenix. I am just blown away by this thread on the local page.My kids are awesome too. Guess I better break the news to my 10 year old DD that she is the reason I can't have nice mommy friends.

You know what is funny? She could have gotten to know you and your DD well and had a nice sitter a few years down the road. There is a benefit to knowing people with older children.

You're right. My daughter is amazing with Connor and he adores her. That's why I spaced 'em out.

nanabanana06

amberdb72 said:

WHY do all the fun bumpies live so far away from me?!
(

I would be your friend if you lived close to me. I make desserts frequently. So, I'll bring something yummy and a bottle of wine?

mydixiewrecked

@Nana_Osaki06 I love desserts! Wine gives me a headache but I won't let that stop me.

LuckyDad

KlondikeBar said:

I had to look up what a bedroom community was. It sounded so intriguing and naughty. I was ready to pack my bags. Commuter community. Oh.

I assumed the term came from the fact they are sleepy, sleep-inducing places.

nanabanana06

amberdb72 said:

@Nana_Osaki06 I love desserts! Wine gives me a headache but I won't let that stop me.

I can bring beer or a big ole bottle of something. I'm an equal opportunity drinker. We can get on my FB groups and tell everyone we vaccinate our children and (I don't know about you) and *gasp!* not BF!

mydixiewrecked

@Nana_Osaki06 Let's do it! My kid is vaxed and he is bottle fed. He also ate a cheeto thanks to his big sister. No wonder my local Moms shun me.LOL

nanabanana06

@amberdb72 awesome! Your right up my alley!

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mydixiewrecked

CTGirl30 said:

Well,she's missing out,I cook like a mofo and  I always have Vodka. Her loss.

Can I come over, then??

Anytime. I have some frozen screwdrivers and grilled chicken chipotle pasta salad ready.

mydixiewrecked

MabelShesTheBomb said:

Holy shit,she has like 6 replies from people that want to make playdates with Mom's of only one kid.I need out of this town,like yesterday. Is there a stigma about having more than 1 kid I am not aware of?

close your legs whore.

@MabelShesTheBomb are you calling me a whore? I don't want to close my legs,I like the secks.

mydixiewrecked

@MabelShesTheBomb I am a dirty whore that whores. I also do it with the lights on and I like it cowgirl. Should I share this with my local Moms? Maybe I could just find a few whore Mom friends...we could tear this town UP.

greeneyed_bride

I can't get over the fact that other people actually wanted playdates with her after her response to you. I only have one kid and like playdates, but I would've steered clear of her after that. Also, my son has the same striped outfit that your son is wearing in the top picture. That has nothing to do with this discussion, but I felt the need to share.

cyprissa

"I may not be funny but at least I'm not a frigid bitch"

LaurelBee

amberdb72 said:

@MabelShesTheBomb I am a dirty whore that whores. I also do it with the lights on and I like it cowgirl. Should I share this with my local Moms? Maybe I could just find a few whore Mom friends...we could tear this town UP.

Start your own Meetup group. This can be your motto:

Are you a mom looking for other mom friends? Are you also a dirty whore who likes to get freaky with your husband with the lights on and drink copious amounts of vodka?? Lets be friends