Food throwing, but only for mommy and daddy

MickeyM04

So the only meal I get to share with DS during the week is dinner.  Breakfast, lunch and snacks are with our nanny.  So anyway, every night at dinner, I make DS something he likes--grilled cheese, or buttered noodles, or a hot dog--with veggies and fruit.  Lately, every night, he takes one bite, yes ONE BITE, of the main course, and then proceeds to take fistfuls of all the food and throw them all over the floor.  I take this to mean he doesn't want what we've served him, and I'm one of those moms who can't say, OK no dinner for you then, so I usually get him something that he likes, like Pirate's Booty or string cheese or goldfish, just so he doesn't go to bed on an empty stomach.  Well, he will take one, maybe two bites (if that) of the snack food, and then throw all that on the floor as well.

I don't know what to do because our nanny says he eats great for her and never does this.  I would push dinner back but he already doesn't eat until 6:30 when I get home from work, which I think is plenty late for 17 months.  Plus he konks out for bed at 7:30 so I couldn't push it back much further anyway.  Do I just say, well, I guess he is NEVER hungry for dinner?  I mean I can't just not give my child dinner.  He eats lunch at noon, has a snack at like 4 when he wakes up from his nap, and then that's it?  He just doesn't eat for the rest of the day?  No way, I can't do it.  At the same time, I am so sick of spending 10 minutes making him dinner that gets thrown on the floor.

Is this a phase?  Help!

Missa_g

We give very small portions at a time and are just right there to give more when they ask for it (usually by signing). At this age (almost 18m actual) we're working on them giving it back to mommy or daddy when they don't want it versus throwing it on the ground. If they throw food I tell them, "no throwing! Give to mommy if you are all done" and I hold out my hand for them to hand it back. Then we practice it a few times by me giving them another piece of whatever and holding out my hand. Usually they either give it to me or gobble it right up because the DO want it and were just playing.

We also do "courses": first course is whatever protein we most want then to eat, followed by vegetable, then fruit. We never go back to a course we have finished so they understand that I won't keep offering it to them. If after fruit they haven't eaten a ton I will give them whatever I know they will eat so they're not hungry at bed, usually a waffle. We usually don't reach that point though.

MickeyM04

Thanks for all the tips.  I definitely like the idea of offering courses.  I feel like usually when we offer dinner, he usually eats the fruit if he's going to eat anything.  He's such a stinker though, I'm totally going to have to hide the other courses or he will see what I've got on the table for him and just point and yell at me. 

It would be so nice if we all ate together, but DH gets home late and we usually do a crock pot meal or something on Sunday and then just re-heat all week or do take-out a couple nights, so I always end up cooking separately for DS because the stuff we eat either isn't very health or isn't very toddler friendly (e.g. spicy, requires more than front teeth, etc.).  Plus I figure if I make his favorites and he doesn't like it, he certainly won't like the chicken tamale casserole DH made.

Missa_g

You might be surprised if you let him try it! J only has the top front four and bottom two teeth, S has all but his canines and 2y molars. They eat the exact same thing. But I understand needing to cook separately. We hide the courses out of their view on the counter.

MickeyM04

You are one smart lady @Missa_g!

Missa_g

@Peanut2929, how did last night go?

MickeyM04

Hahahahaha...we cheated and went to Chili's for dinner.  That kid never throws Chili's on the floor.  Never.  I'll let you know tomorrow about tonight though!