Lost it for the first time last night...

Gsk4874

My girls have only been in the NICU since their birth Sunday morning. I was doing pretty good until last night. We were visiting them and Daylor (twin had her little finger wrapped around mine, I eventually moved it and not but 2 min little she let out a cry (her cry sounds like a kitten, cutest thing) I couldn't help but think she was crying because I moved my hand which could have been a total consequence but what really got me was I couldn't pick her up and sooth her when she was crying I felt helpless and I just started crying. I did get her to stop by touching her head and letting her grab my finger again but in just felt horrible. I know they are getting the best care they need and are where they should be but I just want them home already!!

staceymack

Hang in there, mama. This is by no means easy. It's ok to cry. You're doing a great job by just being there and soothing her with your touch.

JEPES1348

Your hormones are also running wild in the early postpartum stage. I felt like I could cry at the drop of a hat every day, even when nothing significant happened! Hang in there. You're doing the best thing possible by just being there for them! Keep touching them and you'll all be comforted

Throw3ks

You can make it thru. And honestly it won't be your last breakdown. Just know it's ok to cry. You and your family will make it thru this journey. I promise.

Gsk4874

Thanks everyone for your kind words!! I know we will make it through but it won't be easy. The dr said we will most likely get to hold them today so I think that will help a lot. Just waiting on my fiancé to get here then we will head down to see them!!

DrRx

((((Hugs)))) Hang in there!

Brummy14

Hang in there! I managed to keep it together for weeks and weeks and weeks -- only to break down for the littlest frustration (in the grand scheme of things). It wears on you, day after day, the slow progress -- the constant reminder that this is your reality. Not the happy, smiling photos you expected to have yourself -- the ones that you see all over FB for everyone else. It's tough. 

No one is expecting you to be a rock going through this process. It really helps to just let it out from time to time -- whether that be in the car alone, with your SO, or even bedside in the NICU. I had my moments for all of the above, more than once. It's the most emotionally exhausting experience, AND you're still recovering physically. Hang in there. We've all been there -- it's really, REALLY, really hard.

Enjoy getting to hold your LOs!

jbranden12

((HUGS)) I loved Anna's little mewing noises when she first came off the vent! I hope you get to do some skin to skin today! Did they show you how you do skin to skin when she is in bed like putting your hands on her head and feet and also encircled holding? 

LaciJaxx

Oh yes, it's okay to cry! It usually makes me feel better anyway. It's a tough situation. I probably would have cried too. Keep your chin up. Hugs!!!

Gsk4874

I got change Daylors diaper today for the first time, I loved it! We get to hold Lake tonight around 6. Still another day or so before we can hold Daylor but I'll take what we can get! Doing stuff like this and being more involved is definitely making me feel better.

direy25

Hang in there! It's definitely ok to cry, don't ever think it's not.

jocie2581

Your story made me cry. My boys were born on Sunday and have been in the nicu since. It's not easy. I try to remind myself that they are getting great care. And I need to focus on my recovery so I can be there for then fully when they come home.

ComfortablyNumb

You hang in there girl, and believe me, it will get better before you know it.  This time is very difficult, but you are doing the best that you can. Before you know it, you'll be lurking this board offering comforting advice.  Stay strong - the best is yet to come

megs2011

I know how you feel. I had the same thing with my girls. You just want to pick them up but you can't. It's ok to cry. I did a lot of that because I blamed myself for them being here too early. They are getting the best care. Take care of yourself. They will be home before you know it.

mrs_chewie

This time is the hardest time! We all have been there, but it is such a short while in the big picture. I remember being where you are, and then in a blink of an eye, it's six weeks later and you are up at 4 am holding your littlest twin as she falls asleep!