Got through

TwinkleTor · October 2013

Today was my first day back at work. My morning was terrible, I felt so much anxiety leaving my house. My dog has been my "emotional therapy dog" the whole time I've been home since I delivered, and he's been there for me when I've had breakdowns through out the 4 years I've had him. And it was comforting for me to know Domenik's cremains were just in the other room if I wanted to hold him, kiss him, or talk to him. So leaving my boys this morning gave me so much anxiety. Once I got to work, I got so much love and attention from my students that it made me feel kind of good and special. During pick up parents were saying how happy they were to see me back at work too. During my ride home I was just excited to be going back home to my boys! But I did feel like being so busy will make me forget my Baby Domenik. I don't want to forget him. My mom told me I can never forget him, that when I go to work I'm just leaving Domenik with his babysitter Jonah (my dog)! That made me feel a little better. I'm glad the day is over and I guess I'm ready for tomorrow.

Thanks for listening!

Noethola · October 2013

Glad you got through. And your mom is right, you will never forget him.

OSUWifey09 · October 2013

***SIGGY***

I had so much anxiety going back to work, too. Tomorrow makes a year since my medical leave ended after Devon's loss, and I keep remembering just how hard it was to open that door and go back. But once I was back, it felt OK to be back. I hope the days get easier for you as time goes on.

Your mom is right. You will never, EVER forget your sweet boy. I find myself remembering things about Devon at the most random moments. Some memories make me cry, but others make me smile as I remember the impact he had on my life. He's always be a part of you, and you'll always remember him! *hugs*

AJCagle82 · October 2013

I'm so happy you got through work today. I think that having something to do during the day would have to be helpful. I'm currently unemployed (waiting for bar results and job hunting). I would love to have a place to go during the day just to give my brain a break from the hurt. I hope you find it as a bit of a relief and helpful in your healing process. It sounds like you are really loved at work. It's good you have a strong support system there too.

I totally understand about Jonah. I have Gracie and Dexter and they are my support while DH is at work. I would be lost without them around. Don't worry about forgetting Domenik. The fact that you are worried about it shows that you will never forget him. How could you? He is your precious baby and he always will be. There is no way you will ever forget him. Congrats on your first day back at work. I hope the rest of the week goes well for you!

neptunebljc · October 2013

I'm glad you had a good first day back.

I have a few weeks of maternity leave that I am able to take off, but I am not sure if I'm going to be ready to go back to the daycare. I'm checking out some other options, but maybe in a little while I'll feel I can go back to that job.

Doublegreen · October 2013

I'm supposed to be going back next week, but I took an extra week since I'm starting counseling this week as well as seeing my doctor. I plan to drop by my office in order to bring myself up to date on a few policies that might have changed and to get a feel of the atmosphere.