driving myself mad...

lilegg

I need a less mind numbing job.  

All day, over analyzing every symptom.

Pregnancy:  super smells, severe tiny bladder syndrome, nausea.  AF should be here tomorrow, testing Wednesday.  Going cray cray. Pretty sure it'll be a BFN, it's the first cycle after the failed BFP.  My brain is just messing with me.

And this stupid EDS possibility has me making lists of things that could possibly be symptoms, and driving my coworker nuts.  Poor girl, stuck in a truck with me alone for 10 hrs as I bend my fingers back and contort myself in bizarre ways.  UGH!  I need my docs office to call me back so I can schedule this genetic testing dernit! I just want an answer.

I feel like it'd almost be worth it to go take a HPT just to get a BFN (which I am SURE it will be) just so I can go crack a bottle of that fancy arse beer we have in the fridge.

lebradford

I don't remember how many DPO you are, but I remember thinking you should POAS when I read your 2ww post today! Good luck! Sorry that you have the additional layer of complexity here.

nswain85

Sometimes it's just worth taking the test. I over think and over think and just end up driving myself crazy! Just getting it over with is sometimes the best Good luck!

TeeJ526

I understand where you're coming from. AF is due tomorrow as well so I'm not going to test until Wednesday. If it's driving you crazy, you're better off just getting it over with and POAS. 

lilegg

ugh, and now I am breaking my personal "no internet snark" rule.  The snark is taking over, must POAS...then drink copious amounts of beer.

BlackBooks

lilegg said:

ugh, and now I am breaking my personal "no internet snark" rule.  The snark is taking over, must POAS...then drink copious amounts of beer.

Snark happens

lilegg

so I POAS, BFP!   I'm not making a separate post because I don't want to be a bitch about it.

But it's so darn early, and all I had in the house were the super crazy sensitive digi's - so I'm afraid I'm just mindfucking myself more and it's going to fail just like the last one.

I almost died when the hour glass stopped and it said "pregnant".  If it sticks it's amazing, but then I need to figure out the genetic testing even more so.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I went for the tub of Ben & Jerry's.

Spookster

lilegg said:

so I POAS, BFP!   I'm not making a separate post because I don't want to be a bitch about it.

But it's so darn early, and all I had in the house were the super crazy sensitive digi's - so I'm afraid I'm just mindfucking myself more and it's going to fail just like the last one.

I almost died when the hour glass stopped and it said "pregnant".  If it sticks it's amazing, but then I need to figure out the genetic testing even more so.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I went for the tub of Ben & Jerry's.

Wait so you're KTFU?!  Congrats yo!

<:-P

lilegg

ummm, yes....maybe?  if it's sticky....?!

lilegg

shit, I am a terrible person. 

jenandtim828

What just happened Edit: congrats

hecklet

lilegg said:

so I POAS, BFP!   I'm not making a separate post because I don't want to be a bitch about it.

But it's so darn early, and all I had in the house were the super crazy sensitive digi's - so I'm afraid I'm just mindfucking myself more and it's going to fail just like the last one.

I almost died when the hour glass stopped and it said "pregnant".  If it sticks it's amazing, but then I need to figure out the genetic testing even more so.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I went for the tub of Ben & Jerry's.

Woohoo!! <:-P

I know we only met on the boards like yesterday or something but I'm super excited for you!!!

graciesmurf

Yay!  FX for you.

mak7788

congrats! what a wonderful feeling! :-)

lilegg

BlackBooks said:

lilegg said:

ugh, and now I am breaking my personal "no internet snark" rule.  The snark is taking over, must POAS...then drink copious amounts of beer.

Snark happens

I hate when I post something snarky though, because I am sure just like me, these girls are just on here looking for support, answers, even just an ear to get it all out.  I know how much it can hurt when you're already feeling like you're at the end of what you can handle, and then someone posts something incredibly hurtful.  It's not personal, because it can't be personal if they don't personally know you. I came looking for community and support while I felt like everything I knew about my world was crumbling.  

All the shit I've been burying myself in, I let out in an ugly way.  I got my come-up-its.  I got a BFP met with hate. I deserved it.

lilegg

BrightEyes112 said:

shit, I am a terrible person. 

Wait why? Even though your time here was short I feel like you 'got' the vibe more than others. Good luck, seriously

Thank you, genuinely.  But I knew better than to post about a BFP here.  I thought I could get away with mentioning it, just not having a separate post, but I was wrong.  Turns out the lil' egg hate was strong before the BFP anyway, so it wouldn't have mattered what I did.

IvyMagic828

I wouldn't put too much stock in someone's opinion you barely know online and not at all in real life - keep your head up! And congratulations to you!

AppleGrapeMSTK

Hey, congrats!  I had my fx for you.  

Spookster

lilegg said:

BrightEyes112 said:

shit, I am a terrible person. 

Wait why? Even though your time here was short I feel like you 'got' the vibe more than others. Good luck, seriously

Thank you, genuinely.  But I knew better than to post about a BFP here.  I thought I could get away with mentioning it, just not having a separate post, but I was wrong.  Turns out the lil' egg hate was strong before the BFP anyway, so it wouldn't have mattered what I did.

You must be kidding right now right? Everyone you had interaction with was cordial and nice and welcoming as far as I saw, I am sorry you are so distraught over an AE, I wouldn't base the board off of an AE. I agree with @Brighteyes112, you "got the swing" of things here faster than many. No one hates you for having a BFP or "met you with hate". I think you are being way hypersensitive. Chillax and enjoy being KU, seriously! H&H 9 months!

jmknox

Congrats!!! Hopping for a superglue sticky baby for you

lilegg

@Spookster @BrightEyes112 @IvyMagic828  yeah, I know.  I was super cranky and over emotional last night before I got the BFP and before the random AE PW BS.  I just got super sad.  OVERLY super sad.

Everyone else really has been kind, I had totally read this as a group of kind hearted ladies with their hearts in the right places.  My initial instinct was right, you all are. (darn AE fogged it all up last night)

Thank you all, so much good luck & baby dust for everyone!

TeeJ526

Congrats!

mrsvlake

congrats!!