Question for close together Moms

IBackBevo

I know there are several of you on here with kiddos close together in age.  Did anyone have snarky comments about your kids being close together?  If so, how did you handle it?

We are telling DH's parents tonight and I just started getting a little worried. We have never really shared with them about my DOR.  I think it has been mentioned in front of them before, but I don't even know if they picked up on it.  I'm just starting to get a little nervous that they may have some snarky or snide comment about the kids being so close in age or, at the least, saying, "How are yall going to handle this?" or express concerns about handling 2U2 along with our jobs/careers. 

I think my family will likely express concerns, too, but they know more about my issues so I think they will at least understand. 

Anyone experience this? How did you respond? I wish I could think of some witty come back...

TJ1979

Maybe I'm just really lucky, but I have not had any experience with people being jerk-faces about my uterus.  Well, the few inadvertent idiots who asked if I was doing it right since we weren't KU in the first two months.  But no real judgment or comments on my reproduction.  I am sorry you are worried about that, you shouldn't have to.

IBackBevo

I have thought of a couple of comebacks.  If someone says, "You know what causes that, right?"  I'm going to say: "Why? Do you not remember?"

If someone asks if it was planned, I am going to say: "No. We had no idea that this is what happens if you hug in bed." or "Yes. Would you like to see the diagram?" or "No. But after the angel visited me, I knew God had a special plan for my life." I really like the last one- teehee.

I just wish I could think of something funny and witty to say to the: "You are going to have your hands full" comment.

 

IBackBevo

My DH said that if his parents say something about it being hard or having our hands full, he is going to say: "Yeah. That is why we waited for you both to retire." 

ccam

If this FET works, we'll have 2U2.  I think this is why we're not really telling anyone this time around.  I think my family will be excited for us, for sure, but probably will think we're a little crazy!!  I also was very open with my boss the first time around, who was nothing but supportive, but I'm not telling him anything this time because I'm afraid of what he'll think! 

Cwhitaker27

Sometimes parents and especially in laws can be sooo overbearing! I don't have experience with your question but just wanted to say good luck! I'm sure they'll be more supportive than you think and if they're not you have some great responses!
I swear people complain if you have your kids too close and complain if you have your kids too far apart. People continue to ask me when I'm giving DS a sibling despite knowing my history.
Mind your own business people!
Either way, it's right for your family and that's all that matters!!

Saraevh

I get this ALL of the time ... like, seriously, probably daily especially now that I'm big pregnant.  I get it from family, strangers at the grocery store, wherever and whenever.  As I'm sure you know, I will have 3U3.  For those who know me well and know the reasons why we tried to get pregnant boom, boom, boom, they obviously don't say anything and are just happy for us.  For everyone else I honestly don't waste my time explaining, "Well, I have endometriosis that has required me to have multiple surgeries and not a long window afterwards to get pregnant before it comes back, top that with my husbands' sh!tty sperm count, motility and morphology, the fact that I supposedly have the egg reserve of a 40 year old at age 29 .............. blah blah blibbity blah" - WHAT. ever.   I just say something along the lines of how excited and blessed we are and leave it at that. 

 

People are always going to have an opinion about your decisions, how you are building your family, what you do/don't do with your kids, etc and as much as the comments do bug me sometimes, at the end of the day I don't really give a crap.  Haters g'on hate, ya know?  If your in-laws give you crap just *try* to grin and bear it and let it roll off of your shoulders.        

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick

Although my LOs won't be super close together, if anyone said anything to me, my response would be "I think what you meant to say was congratulations". People who make snarky comments about OUR family and OUR decisions to have children aren't people I want to be around.

I really hope your ILs aren't so insensitive that they would make rude ass comments to versus being happy for you.

IBackBevo

If they say something, it will either be something like, 'Yall are going to have your hands full.' or something said in a "joking" manner that really is kind of rude.  And while we won't be telling DH's uncle, he is one that would completely say, "Do you know what causes that?"  When we got a 4d ultrasound of DS, he remarked that DS looked like an alien.  DS was and is adorable...it was so stupid.

RoseHQ12

I have had one or two people say, behind my back "was it planned", as I was told in confidence I can't say anything in response but I would love to say " you have no idea how planned this baby was " I already get the "you must have your hands full" comment & I usually say "I must not if we are about to add another to the mix "

itsmevkb

I think when you announce something with excitement and joy it's hard for people to not respond in kind.  And, those who don't are more responding with either concern for you or because they know that they themselves never could have handled it.  No matter what the response I generally responded with humor except with my parents with whom I reassurred repeatedly that I would make it through another pregnancy alive and well (they were mostly concerned for my health as some of my pregnancies have been difficult.)

Mrs.AmyDylan

To the hands full comment, I love the " I'd much rather full than empty!". Another good one is, "thank goodness I have two hands!".

laura1

I get them all the time - honestly I just agree when they say I have my hands full.  I totally do!  I usually say thank goodness they are cute.  DH usually asks whoever says that if they want to take one of them off of our hands...

As for the comments about having them close together, I just laughed them off.  I didn't get many from my own family - my sister and I are 11.5 months apart, so my parents would have been total hypocrites to say anything!  My ILs knew about our TTC#1, so were super happy for us to get a surprise for #2.  When I had my m/c (which would have given us 2u2 again had the baby stuck), my family and ILs were super supportive.  I guess I have been pretty lucky - most of the comments were from people at work, but they were more jokes than anything else - and like I said I just laughed it off, and said what is done is done!  

Good luck!  I am sure they will be happy for you!

CarrieB.

Ditto all the above posts that no matter how you space your children, people will make awkward comments. Our girls will be 2 1/2 years apart and I still got questions like "were you trying?" And everyone wants to give me a lecture on how I MUST potty train DD1 immediately. Try not to let it bother you too much.

IBackBevo

Everything went well with the in laws. They were happy.