My dad doesn't want to know the gender.

Mcsweets

I'm totally annoyed. We finally announced the genders this past weekend and both my dad and aunt (his sister) emailed me telling me they don't want to know. They want to hold off as long as possible - although they both realize they won't be able to hold off until the birth because of baby showers and whatnot. My aunt even asked me to "unfriend her" on FB when I announce on there so she can't see it. I want to email back and tell them it's not about them! I feel like this was a personal decision that DH and I thought of for a long time and they're totally not supporting it. Who the hell cares if its now or in 2 months? I feel like they've taken the joy out of us "getting to" tell them because now, WHEN they find out, they will undoubtedly be "angry" that they now know. I want to email them back, but haven't yet. I'm having trouble putting into words why I'm upset... Am I nuts? Am I being selfish with it?

ceh789

Someone in this scenario is nuts... its not you.

katykatykaty

That request would make me want to unfriend your aunt and remain unfriended.  Other than that, I would just ignore it and continue on with whatever you had planned.  Unless you had planned on shopping with them, I don't really see how their not wanting to know would affect you.  Just don't do anything special to prevent them from finding out and go on as you normally would. 

Mcsweets

Anddddalso I should ass I don't know if I should even email back because what's the point? The reveal is done and I don't want to "guilt" them into it either... Ugh It just reminds me of our wedding when my dad found out we were doing a "big reveal" for when DH saw me for the first time and my dad decided he wanted one too - which we catered to and he got his own reveal.

ring_pop

Not selfish. They're being dumb.

I'd respond something really short and sweet like, "OK, good luck with that. We'll try our best." Honestly, a one-liner. Don't even justify their silliness with any more than that.

Mcsweets

@FarmBoysWife - that's the beauty of team green!!! Although people around you probably want to know, they have no choice but to support what you want!!!   My dad joked that he didn't want to know the genders when we first told him we were pregnant.  I just didn't expect him to stick with it.  Ugh.  Annoying.  I don't care if you're freaking team polkadot - I think you need to support the parents decision, at the end of the day everyone else is just along for the ride.

AriaAmante143

This scenario is so strange to me. I've heard of Team Green couples being nagged by family that's dying to know, but not the other way around!! Why are they trying to hold off as long as possible???

If I were you, I wouldn't change anything for anyone. It's your decision to find out the gender beforehand, so it's their responsibility to try to hide things so they don't find out.

So weird!!! You are NOT being selfish at all!

PerkyErky

Honestly I would email them back and say "we're having a boy and a girl" (or whatever you are really having) and add "now you know so you don't have to worry about when you find out!"

I should add I slept like crap last night and am not pleased to be at work and am extra grumpy this Monday morning so my advice is seriously tainted with my mood.

Mcsweets

@PerkyErky - lmaoooo we think alike!!! I tooootally said that to DH this morning.  I was like I'm going to email back and write "BOY GIRL BOY GIRL BOY GIRL BOY GIRL ONE OF EACH" in big pink and blue letters just out of spite.  Then I decided I'm going to be a mom, I should probably be more mature than that. However, where's the fun in that? Life decisions ... lol

VineyardMel

Unfriend her and then it's their issue, not yours. I would be disappointed, too, about their lack of celebrating with you. I would try to just blow it off and not let it get to you. It's their loss to lose out in the fun of this time with you and you shouldn't feel the need to go out of your way to do anything differently. If you really feel the need to say something I might just go with, "I'm sorry you don't want to celebrate with us right now. The news is out and we can't really control how you may or may not find out." Sorry you have to deal with it!

amberlynnr7

One of my friends' moms did this....She ended up telling her because she was just too excited (my friend) & they didn't have a falling out or anything....

But they can't really tell you how to live your life/what to do anymore about situations like this.

Mcsweets

VineyardMel said:

Unfriend her and then it's their issue, not yours. I would be disappointed, too, about their lack of celebrating with you. I would try to just blow it off and not let it get to you. It's their loss to lose out in the fun of this time with you and you shouldn't feel the need to go out of your way to do anything differently. If you really feel the need to say something I might just go with, "I'm sorry you don't want to celebrate with us right now. The news is out and we can't really control how you may or may not find out." Sorry you have to deal with it!

@VineyardMel - I love that!!!! Sounds direct and I don't think it would offend, but gets the point across.

lopezalonso

My FIL doesn't want to know either but my husband and I plan on finding out in less than three weeks and letting people know soooooo... he knows it is not our responsibility to keep him in the dark. Once my MIL and BIL know, they're likely to slip up and say something. I don't think he's being realistic but whatever, his choice. I really couldn't care less. 

PerkyErky

Mcsweets said:

@PerkyErky - lmaoooo we think alike!!! I tooootally said that to DH this morning.  I was like I'm going to email back and write "BOY GIRL BOY GIRL BOY GIRL BOY GIRL ONE OF EACH" in big pink and blue letters just out of spite.  Then I decided I'm going to be a mom, I should probably be more mature than that. However, where's the fun in that? Life decisions ... lol

Your email is WAAAAAY better than mine. Maturity is overrated.

Gramsey831

My mom did this when I was pregnant wtith DS.  I told her, "OK I'll call you when the baby is born."  Once she realized how much she would miss, she back peddled.  Now with this one, she is super antsy to find out.  Like PP have said, just let them know its not your responsibility to keep them from finding out.  Good Luck!

linsmarie31

If they want to go through the steps to not find out, thats up to them, but you shouldn't have to alter your life to accomodate!  This is YOUR news and you can share it the way you want to!

My mom and MIL are the exact opposite... we find out tomorrow, then are telling big sisters when they get to our place on Friday.  In an effort to make them feel involved, we're going to let them share the news.  moms are freaking out because we're making them wait 5 days!  tough!

Mcsweets

lol @ "They get to be team supportive or team GTFO."

angelsnight

ring_pop said:

Not selfish. They're being dumb.

I'd respond something really short and sweet like, "OK, good luck with that. We'll try our best." Honestly, a one-liner. Don't even justify their silliness with any more than that.

This, I would have a hard time being confrontational with certain family members, but I certainly wouldn't cater to their ridiculous request. 

lvlichelle

As for your aunt wanting to be unfriended on facebook.. there is an option to where you can select who you want to see it.. you can even select the people who you want to hide the post from.

I don't think it is crazy for you to feel this way.. I too would feel like the excitement is being taken away from you.

AKPuffin

Why can't your aunt block or unfriend you? If she doesn't want to know it should be her responsibility to hide the information from herself. If she's FB friend with any of your friends though she may still inadvertently see the news even if you aren't friends!!!

avigailandcharlie

Tell them I haven't watched season 5 part 2 of breaking bad yet so I emailed the network and asked them not to play the finale, because I don't want my Facebook friends ruining it for me. Oh, and tell them I also asked all my Facebook friends who watch it to defined me so I wouldn't know what happens.

KariB509

Honestly, I wouldn't even reply to them. If they don't want to know, then let it be their responsibility not to find out. I wouldn't even worry about them getting upset about it. Let it be their problem, not yours.

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