TTC when others struggle to get pregnant, how do you approach them?

BlessedMomma07

DH and I are TTC our 4th (and final) little miracle. My cousin has been TTC for about 6 years now. They have tried clomid with no success and their next step (still awhile in the future due to insurance) will be IVF. Even though she never said anything to me personally, I know that she was very hurt when I got pregnant with both of my boys. Not that she was really mad at ME but just mad that it wasn't HER announcing that baby news. 

I am afraid to tell anyone, especially her, that we are TTC again. 1.) because I am not wanting to hear the "Oh My God you are having ANOTHER baby!" reaction from family and friends and 2.) I don't want to hurt my cousin. 

I realize that I can't hold back from living the life that my DH and I want just because I am afraid of hurting someone else's feelings but how do I tell her that we are either TTC or that we are pregnant (whenever that would happen) without hurting her feelings? Am I selfish for wanting a 4th baby when she is struggling so hard for just one?? I would never flaunt my pregnacy and was very careful and considerate of her feelings with the last two pregnancies but how do you approach the situation without seeming like a selfish person? 

wishiwaspreggo

Yep, what @carseat said.  There's no reason to announce your TTC - just let your family know when you ARE pregnant, and tell your cousin in private.  I like the e-mail idea.

Mysterious_wife

You don't say anything until you get pg. Then send her an email or tell her over the phone. Let her deal with it on her own terms. You tell her. Do not let her hear it from everyone else. Good luck. 

DebateThis

Car Seat is wise. And a lot of the pointers in this link would be helpful to keep in mind when you're composing your email that you're expecting again: https://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html