Heartbreak and Disappointment

luvboston

For all of those that went through IF and m/c do you feel some of the same emotions in the NICU? Yesterday when they told me for the 4th time that LO couldn't come home I comp fell apart just like when we had a failed IVF and when I had my early m/c. The disappoint was so intense I couldn't shake it and I cried on and off all day. I also don't think it helped that the resident doesn't have an ounce of humanity.

chicagobride_07

I am so sorry. It sucks when medical professionals aren't compassionate. I hope that your LO is able to come home soon. It's been a long road for me, with failed DE cycles, a very high risk pregnancy and NICU time, but we are nearing LOs 4 month birthday and now finally things are looking up. It does get better, I promise. Best wishes to you.

ashleymarie512

Yes!!! You would think that since we dealt with IF and a loss, we'd be spared the NICU experience. I have feelings of resentment, bitterness and jealousy towards pregnancy women (for actually having a third tri), moms taking their babies home from the hospital after a measly two days and moms and dads out and about with their infants, because I'm sure well be quarantined after she finally does get to come home. I actually have a counseling appt scheduled for another week or so when my therapist comes back from mat leave!

conradtn

I cried a ton in the NICU and at home.  Thankfully one of the NICU nurses was a friend of mine (who referred me to my RE), and she knew when to grab the tissue.  I also remember the disappointment when we were told she couldn't come home.  We had gone to spend the night with her, had her going home outfit, and then were sent home because she wasn't ready.  It was horrible. ((((((hugs)))))

LaciJaxx

Keep your chin up! Your day will come very soon. Stay focused on the blessings in your life - your beautiful baby! And don't focus on the negatives. That's the only way I got through our 37 days in the NICU. It seemed like months but once it arrives, it'll be a thing of the past.

KTZ17

ashleymarie512 said:

Yes!!! You would think that since we dealt with IF and a loss, we'd be spared the NICU experience. I have feelings of resentment, bitterness and jealousy towards pregnancy women (for actually having a third tri), moms taking their babies home from the hospital after a measly two days and moms and dads out and about with their infants, because I'm sure well be quarantined after she finally does get to come home. I actually have a counseling appt scheduled for another week or so when my therapist comes back from mat leave!

No experience with IF, but these are still my feelings when I see pregnant women in their third tri or parents taking their newborns home. I hope it does get easier for all of us and that your LO comes home soon!

DrRx

((((((hugs))))))

As other PPs have said, that last stretch of the NICU feels like the longest.  I know how hard it is.  T&Ps that she will be home sooner rather than later. 

MrsRKJ

Keep your head up mama!  Your day will come.  I understand the roller coaster of emotions that come along with a NICU stay.  And when DS was supposed to be discharged things got completely screwed up and I lost it on the resident, and they acted like it was no big deal.  Well excuse me, I know you deal with this every day and it's not big deal to you, but after 33 days I want my baby home!  It just blew my mind how they were like, well, we can get this all done and you can take him home later in the week.  NO F-ING WAY!  

jbranden12

((HUGS)). It is difficult, and the professionals around us can make a big impact. Anna was born at 26 weeks after her big sister was stillborn at 31 weeks. Anna also sustained severe brain damage. Everything that happened to us is "unexplained." I struggle with envy, resentment, disappointment, and grief. Some days are much harder then others, but some days are much better than I predicted they could be when I was at my lowest. Keep holding on!