Nanny quit in an email with no notice

IBackBevo

I am not shocked she quit.  She has had a bit of a bad attitude lately, complaining about everything, hinting that she wants to be paid more (when we pay her above the going rate for 1 child), and there have been other issues.  However, we have treated her right and always been respectful of her and tried to work for her and I am just SHOCKED she would quit in this manner and leave us in a lurch like this.  My husband is a physician with a private practice. I'm an attorney in commercial litigation with depos, hearings, etc. scheduled.  We have no family in the area and arranging back up care is difficult -- the main reasons we have a nanny.    She KNOWS what a lurch she is leaving us in.  And to quit in an EMAIL!  Not even have the courteousy to do it in person!!!

I told my DH we are going to put him in daycare.  I hate to do that going into winter with cold and flu season, but at this point I think it is probably the best.  I just had to complain. 

laura1

That is awful.  I had a new nanny quit via text message 2 hours before she was about to start.  That was fun!  I had to scramble to find someone to watch my kids so I could go to work.  Thankfully I have family in the area so they help us out frequently and the big kids go to extended day pre-school now (started when DD#1 was 15 months, DS was 2.5).  My sister is a SAHM now (was working until this year) so she is watching DD#2 for me.  My mom just retired as well, so she is also around...but until this year, I always felt like childcare was a house of cards, just ready to collapse! Good luck with the never ending search!

IBackBevo

@laura1- Thanks for the response. House of cards is a very good way to describe it. Really, more than anything I am hurt that someone we treated well and did right by would not extend us even the courtesy of giving us some notice or giving us the headsup or the courtcourtesy of telling us in person.

laura1

Yeah, we were a different situation as we were just hiring her, but I was mad about it too - I had just spent 2 hours with the lady going over the kids routines, showing her around our house, letting her play with them, etc.  She was supposed to come back 2 hours later so I could go into work (I work part time nights).  She had been gone 10 minutes when I got the text saying it wasn't going to work out.  I couldn't believe it - I had just wasted 2 hours of my life!  I couldn't believe she didn't at least watch the kids for that afternoon and then quit.  This all happened at the start of the summer 2 years ago, so we hired a college kid to watch them for the summer, then they started "school" in the fall.  The worst part is that I still see her around nannying for other kids in the town.  I just ignore her!

Anyway, thinking of you - it is so hard!!  If it makes you feel better, my kids are happy at school.  My company also uses "parents in a pinch,"  which I have had to use on occasion when someone was sick or my regular plans fell through.  https://www.parentsinapinch.com/

IBackBevo

Thanks for the link! I honestly can't believe this woman did this to us. She had been with us 4 to 5 months. We had given her 40 hours of pto over the last couple of months even though she was only part time. When she complained about things being tight financially due to something with her husband's job, we offered her extra work. She had doctor's appointments and we would work around her schedule even coming home early. We have been good to her. Invited her to LO's bday. Treated her like part of the family. And she doesn't even have the decency to tell us in person or even give us so much as a week's notice!!! Honestly, I thought she cared more about my DS that she would not have done that to him.

TJ1979

Dang Bevo, you are having bad nanny luck! We were planning to go with a nanny for E, and she started acting flaky last minute. I was horrified at the idea of putting her in DC, but she absolutely loves it, and it has been really good for her.
I hope DC works out for you. I don't have family nearby either so I feel your pain.

Mrs.AmyDylan

Ugh, so sorry you are having nanny problems again. Shesh. DC is probably a better option. Some friends IRL had a nanny quit before she started. They scrambled and their son ended up loving DC. Unless you are really happy with your nanny, DC provides a lot more assurance that your child is being well cared for. Good luck DC shopping.

kmc84

What an aweful thing to do and what an aweful way for her to do it good luck DC shopping. I hope you find a great one!

IBackBevo

We got her on care dot com. I really don't have the energy to do another nanny search. This would be the 4th time in 10 months. Every time it is very time consuming and we have had terrible luck so far. Our first nanny we fired for smoking on the job. Second was great but her husband was transferred and she had to move. And then there was this one...

And we managed to wrangle childcare for next week but after that we are out of luck. So we have to get him in somewhere quickly. We might even think about an au pair or live in down the road with the second baby coming...but for now we are just going to have to do daycare.

IBackBevo

And like everyone else, I am appalled at the lack of professionalism to give us basically no notice. The only thing she could have done worse was to just not show up. She literally didn't even give us a single working day's notice. This woman has 20+ years of experience and came with excellent references. All I can think is what goes around comes around.

Dragonfly1226

No matter how unhappy she might have been, to quit over email with no notice is ridiculous and unacceptable! I have never used care dot com, but is there a way to leave negative feedback on her profile or something? I would be livid if I was you!

IBackBevo

@Dragonfly1226 I completely agree. No matter how unhappy you are, you don't just quit over an email with no notice. DH also revealed another little gem in the email she sent him to me tonight. She apparently also called me "rude and self-centered." Again, even if you think that, you don't go name calling on your way out the door. I think the only reason she did that is likely because I used to come home and she would effectively spend 20 to 30 minutes every evening dumping all of her personal problems on me. Basically, she seemed to think I was her therapist. I never liked this because after I have been at work for 11 to 12 hours a day dealing with problems (that is pretty much what I do for a living), I want to relax and spend time with my child...not deal with/hear about someone else's problems. Nonetheless, prior to a few weeks ago, I normally would politely listen. Well, recently with being pregnant and more tired and not feeling well, I have more or less been trying to avoid our 30 minute nightly therapy sessions where she tells me about all of the problems in her life, with her finances, in her marriage, with her adult children, etc. So I have sort of made up excuses like I had to get dinner going, or wanted to spend time with my son or once even turned on the tv before she could start dumping on me. Also, I am the type of person who tends to take on other people's problems and they stress me out. I already have borderline hypertension bp and really have been trying to avoid unnecessary stressors...especially so I don't end up with pre-e again. I guess that makes me "rude and self-centered. "

Dragonfly1226

@IBackBevo - It sounds like she has issues. In the end it is probably better that she is gone, but the way she did it is horrible. I hope you can find suitable daycare soon!

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick

Yikes! That is horrible. I really hope you are able to get your DS into a good daycare soon. I'm so sorry this happened!