Working Moms

nanny vent

DD has autism and developmental delays and is 2.5 nonverbal. We have had a lot of little issues with our nanny but her lack of common sense is making us nervous and I think we need to let her go but would like opinions.
We were willing to overlook her teaching DD the wrong signs, even though we only asked her to work on 2 with her and gave her handouts she got them backwards and now DD thinks the sign for cup means more.
But then we discovered she would leave DD in her booster seat unstrapped alone at a pub height table every time she went to the bathroom. We explained we preferred she didn't do this so she stopped.
Then today she showed up pretty close to hyperventilating and said she had a racing heart due to PTSD but told DH to go ahead to work and she would just gate DD into a small area and she would be fine in an hour. We sent her home and DH took the day off. It just makes me nervous that she thought this was a good plan.
Am I overreacting thinking she just has no commonsense when it comes to safety? It just makes me wonder what else is going on that we don't know about. These aren't the only things, but the others are all just trivial such as not being able to find something I left on the table for her in plain sight and showed her twice and putting a part of my DDs orthotics on the wrong foot,
Would you let her go?

Re: nanny vent

  • Sorry for lack of punctuation or formatting, mobile bumping
  • I would find someone new. She doesn't sound very competent.
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  • Find someone new. Our first nanny had a much lower definition of what's appropriate to do with kids (mainly in terms of safety and common sense). The final straw was when she took 2-3 days off with virtually no notice - I put an ad up within a day of that happening, and we let her go about a week later (when we had secured temporary childcare with someone else, and I had done an initial interview with the woman who is our current nanny). If anything, our nanny now is stricter about things than DH and I are, but I think that's the way it should be. I have no regrets firing the first one!
    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • I agree with some of the others: let her go.  As PP said, getting the signing wrong and that are not major issues, but thinking that penning DD up while she worked through a panic attack for an hour is really bad.  You need peace of mind and your DD deserves someone more professional.
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  • She sounds kind of spastic.  Overall, if you are not comfortable with her judgment, I would start looking.  Once you find someone, I think I would let her go.


  • I guess I would call myself a vetern to having nannies now (since we've had one for 5+ years now). I agree with others to start searching for a new one now. It doesn't sound dire in that you need to fire her on the spot, but agree to start getting your ducks in a row. IMO (and experience), once you reach the this point in your opinion of your nanny, there is no going back and ever really feeling content with your child care situation.
  • Agree with all PP. Start looking - no rush but no need to be passive about it either. There are wonderful, competent, caring nannies out there. You'll find one.
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