Loss Check In

Mrs Nice

Welcome to our checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: Have you had any dreams or any other signs that you believe to be from your Angel? Is there anything that reminds you of your Angel when you see it?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

angelsnight

ticker warning

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? No, in fact I feel like I've gone backwards.  I've been so angry lately, and I've cried a lot. 

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?  I want to get the nursery ready, and decide what to do with Kayla's clothes, whether we'll pack them up, or use them for the new baby.  My plan is to just do it when I feel ready....forcing myself is not going to make it enjoyable.  I'm also excited to start the Capture your Grief project, that seems like it will be therapuetic.

QOTW: Have you had any dreams or any other signs that you believe to be from your Angel? Is there anything that reminds you of your Angel when you see it?  No dreams since the first few days after we lost her, but I see signs in the sky all the time.  Whenever I can see the sun rays coming down from the clouds, I like to think it's the stairway to Heaven and our loved ones are coming to see us.  I also saw the most beautiful sunrise the other day...the sun was shining from behind the clouds, and the edges of the clouds literally looked to be lined with silver and gold.  It was almost like I could see Heaven.  I always think of her whenever I see butterflies, and when her spinner at her grave spins, I feel like she's saying, I'm here.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?  Too much to even put into words, or pinpoint what I am thinking.  It just feels like a jumbled mess bouncing around in my head.

TwinkleTor

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I'm not sure, I've cried more this week then I did last week. I know I've been nervous about going back to work because I'm afraid my job will possibly depress me more. That's why I'm so set on trying to find something new.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

My next goal is to find a new job! I want to be closer to home, away from the hospital I delivered at, and away from the negativity.

QOTW: Have you had any dreams or any other signs that you believe to be from your Angel? Is there anything that reminds you of your Angel when you see it?

I received a wind chime from a family friend that is a memorial for Domenik! So when ever I hear it I think of him. I had one dream that Domenik visited me, but I don't remember it, and haven't dreamt of him since. Also is feel like he is my iPod DJ, and he communicates with me thru my music.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Going back to work has been on my mind, finding a new job, and keeping the depression away.

neptunebljc

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 
I've been trying to write in my journal more this week. Usually ends in a crying mess, but what can you do. I've also been wanted to set up a little space for Bean. DH is not cooperating though. He is worried if Bean's urn comes off the bookshelf, then the cats will be able to knock it over.  I dont think the cats will bother it though.


What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 
I think I need to stop ignoring how I have been feeling and deal with the emotions. I have been really angry this week. Angry at everyone around me, for everything. So my goal for next week is to setup a meeting with a counselor.  I just need to make some calls about it and see how much and where it is offered.


QOTW: Have you had any dreams or any other signs that you believe to be from your Angel? Is there anything that reminds you of your Angel when you see it?
I have just started taking sleeping pills, so dreams have stopped a bit. I was having a lot of dreams/nightmares of endless searching for something missing... It kills me when I wake up because I know what I am looking for.  The pills seem to help. I have only been taking them every other night. This weekend we are going to a wedding in MI so I won't be taking any with me.


Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I feel really angry.  I am able to take off 14 weeks of maternity leave, and I want to take advantage of that. That way I can really get a handle on myself, and get my house back into order, 9 weeks of bed rest and hosiptals stays have left it very unorganized.  

DH is being supportive, but I know he wants me to go back to work. Money is tight.  My boss still hasn't contacted me (I've left two messages with her) because she is unable to talk with me without crying.  I just don't know if I can handle working with the toddlers and her emotionalness. And speaking to parents... It just seems very overwhelming.

I guess a lot is on my mind this week :-S

PerkyErky

***siggy warning/pregnancy mentioned***

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I don't feel I have done much towards actively healing.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
I want to acknowledge Alice more. A few times lately people have asked how many children we have and my automatic response is 1. But we have 2 and another on the way. I just can't open that door with people who don't know my history.

QOTW: Have you had any dreams or any other signs that you believe to be from your Angel? Is there anything that reminds you of your Angel when you see it?
I haven't had any dreams about Alice and I don't know if there are signs from her. I wonder sometimes why?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Today is 6 months since we lost Alice. I am just very sad today. I also have a dr appt for the new baby and I am finding it difficult to be excited or happy today.

shandorfml2

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I don't know. I got my "Held Your Whole Life" necklace and have been wearing that. A lady a work asked if I had kids and I said yes, and told her my daughter died. I was proud of myself.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Getting through Oct. when we found out she was a girl last year

QOTW: Have you had any dreams or any other signs that you believe to be from your Angel? Is there anything that reminds you of your Angel when you see it?All the time. Had bad dreams at first, now I tend to dream of her as a toddler, or I'm looking for her. I see butterflies all the time and even when I was pregnant they represented her.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Of course always missing my girl. She would be 7 months soon. So hard.