Am I alone? 3 year old DS refusing 99% of the time!

Ardmhs83

Please...anybody come in and tell me that your 3 year old has no interest at all?!?  We've tried sticker charts, rewards, ipad on the potty, praise him when he has done it every now and again.  We've also tried taking him outside to let him try to pee.  He's done it once, but doesn't want to do it anymore.  Every time I ask him to sit on the potty he yells, "no potty!"  I've even said back to him yes we are going to try and when I try to sit him on the potty he kicks his legs and jumps off, refusing!  I don't want to force him and my pedi even said not to.  I'm not into any kind of method that requires timelines and forcing.  Dr said it is healthier for him to be ready on his own and I agree, but when I see all kinds of other people with their children trained I feel like I'm failing.  He just turned 3 in August, so I know he is still young, but I see lots of 2 year olds trained already! :-(

 

Ugh...tell me I am not alone?!

Ardmhs83

cpmich

Just give it time. Parents Magazine said the average age to potty train a boy in the US is 39 months. Kids train when they are ready. Trying to force it will make it take longer.

steelermama86

I am right there with you. My daughter turns 3 on Sunday and has absolutely zero interest. When we have tried to get her to sit on the potty she freaks out screaming and crying. I know it's not good to push it but, at this rate she is never going to be interested.

Becm617

That was our 3 yo daughter until about a week ago, now she only wears underwear at preschool/daycare and will hold it all day if she has to to not go. So no you area definitely not alone!

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Ardmhs83

Thanks ladies!  I knew pushing isn't a good thing, and I never have.  I've just been following his lead.  Like I said, when others around me are having their children trained and mine isn't...it's a little frustrating.  I guess I'll just keep off him and casually mention it.  He'll get it when he's ready! :-) 

kris-dan

I am in the same situation.  He just kicks and screams everytime I mention the potty.  I was told to give it time to not push it bc it will take longer. 

Arielle27

DS will be three at the end of the month and he's been on and off interested in tHe potty for more than 6 months, but basically refuses to actually use it (he just wants to sit on it and then get off quickly).

However, my daughter (19 mo old) is really interested and actually pooed on the potty a few days ago! She pees and poos literally twenty times a day, so it was an inevitability, and I'm not really thinking she'll potty train too soon... However, my son became so determined to use the potty and wear underwear after that, I'm hoping it will move things along!

In fact, he is in an 'older' class at school (3-4) so he is actually the only kid in diapers there. I thought that would be a driving force, but he doesn't seem to care at all. So we'll see if the sibling rivalry does the trick.

kat8805

You are not alone, not by any means. Our daughter turned 3 at the end of August. #2 on the potty every single time, and will make it known she needs to go, even while out. #1... not so much. When left bottomless, she goes on her own, without being asked, every single time. But we've wasted far too many pull-ups on #1's, have a big move, and a second child on the way for us to be pushing the potty too hard. I have a feeling even if we got it down pat, with all traveling and chaos we have ahead of us, it would put us right back at square one. She knows the deal, she's just on her own time frame.

michellersayer

I know a few 3 year olds at church that aren't trained yet. I got lucky my son learned at 18 months. Everyone's different.

Crystal318

I am right there with you!!  I just posted about this on the 24+ page. Its so frustrating. My son just turned three and I am trying to start potty training him but he really wants nothing to do with it. He will pee himself and he doesnt even care. I have tried treats, bigh boy undies, bottomless, etc. He doesnt care. He gets too caught up in what he is doing, he doesnt want to take the time out to use the potty....until BEDTIME!!! Then he uses it as an excuse to procrastinate and get out of bed!   I guess the good thing is we dont see too many adult walking around in diapers so I guess no matter what, they learn eventually, right!??!? At least that is what I tell myself! Good Luck!

 

snicksnack

My doc told me this at DD'S three year appointment. Take the panties put them in her drawer and say when you are ready for big girl panties let me know. Don't say anything else for six weeks she will more than likely take imitative. Guess what there weeks later she said she had to go potty and was day trained from there on out. Also remember everyone's definition of training is different. My friend said her ds was trained yet he wore a diaper 50 percent if the time in the car etc. that is not trained it is being trained there is a difference.

rmp25

Right there with you. We almost had our DS trained over the summer and then he just stopped and refuses to use the potty. He kicks and screams if you try to take him. Being dirty or wet doesn't seem to bother him. We are so frustrated. He turned three on Halloween. My husband and I have totally dropped it for the time being, but we have family that keeps him including both Gmas. Despite us telling them to drop it I think they still say things to him and try to shame him. It's hard when everyone else's kids are trained and yours won't. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong.

Ardmhs83

Glad I'm not alone.  He actually has gotten better.  He will occasionally pee on the potty and he gets real excited when he does because we jump around and clap and praise him.  :-)  I think it will come, just in his own time. 

marleybarne

I am so glad I discovered this thread. My 3 yo son has no interest or desire. We have been trying putting him in underwear and he wasn't even bothered when he went in them
My stepmother is REALLY getting on my nerves with the pressure on him and on me. I am about to be home with him a lot more soon so we are going to take it as it comes. Glad to know we're not alone!

mommytoconnor

My son turned 3 at the end of June. He actually started showing interest about 3 months before his 3rd bday so we went for it. he would most of the time and for awhile it was every 15 minutes. Fast forward now 5 months and he will stay dry most of the time at daycare but get home and no way jose. He says no potty constantly. I say no we need to potty like a big boy. SOmetimes he will kick and scream and if I can get him into the potty he will almost always go but it's such a big deal just to get him there. I am so frustrated I could scream.  I know all kids are different but I also feel like I am failing and it irritates me to no end. Hope it gets better.

nikiz628

My son is 3 and we are in the exact situation. I make him sit on the potty every now and then, but honestly its not worth the fight. I told him all I want for Christmas is for him to pee in the potty all the time and wear big boy underwear lol. He told me okay... we will see!

laken256

My son will be 4 at the end of may and has just recently (this week!) decided to go on the potty. We are by no means potty trained yet, but I'm very impressed that he's going at all since the day before, he would scream if you mentioned it.

After an incredibly bad holiday season with relatives questioning my parenting ability bc he wasnt pt, and an awful day of nasty #2's, I got annoyed and told him it was time to use the big boy potty. I put undies on him (which has never worked before but he got new ninja turtle ones for Christmas), and sat the little potty in the living room where he sees it more. I dragged out our 'treasure box' I had made months ago with small wrapped toys for him to get after pottying, and explained how it worked one more time.

Something just clicked! It was awesome. He immediately started using it and has for the last few days (except during naps and night times of course!). He's so proud of himself now and uses the potty by himself without me saying a word or constantly asking if he needs to go, like I used to.

I've always heard that one day it'll just click for them, and it really did with him (with a little prodding from me initiating the process!). So don't feel bad! I was beginning to think he would go to high school prom in diapers, but I'm so relieved that we are finally on the right track! Don't give up and don't think you're a failure. I've done this same thing a couple times through the last 6-7 months after he turned three with no results. And it's finally worked! Just keep on, momma!

Magiccoffee15

I'm having issues too! My son will tell me "I'm not going potty anymore" or cry. I backed off completely for a few weeks. Don't give him the option to say "No" either. That was hard for us. I say "Go pee in the potty" or "Let's go potty!" and it sorta helps. He won't poop though. His pedi said it's ok and I'm probably giving him anxiety. Also, no kid goes into kindergarten un-potty trained. They learn eventually and if you give them anxiety about it that's when they get constipated at school because they refuse to go there.

My issue is allowing him to go around in his big boy undies and having accidents. I have a harder time letting go and being okay with me cleaning up pee off the floor. I know it's not a big deal and I never scold him but I usually rely on diapers or pull ups so I don't have to clean the mess. Boo on me!

munica00

Hello! My DD just turned 3 and we've been trying with the potty for over a year. I will ask her in the morning after I'm changing her overnight diaper "do you want to put on your underwear?" and she will yell NO. But in the past few days my husband and I have decided to just make her wear them every day, be very encouraging and make her sit and pee. She at least will stay on the potty and not jump off like your son, but she will sometimes be on and off the potty, not peeing, for 2 or more hours. So frustrating for me as I have a 7 month old too. A few months ago, she was going every day a few times but only pee, and for some reason we stopped ( I think b/c we were travelling for Thanksgiving and it would not be feasible to take the potty with us). Then she wasn't interested since then. She always expects a piece of candy while she sits on it, then a treat after. Which I don't have a problem with, but my H and I are going to buy her a gumball machine and put candy in it and only let her have it after she goes in the potty. The sticker chart didn't work for us, and we don't have an ipad or smartphones to do the apps. It is very discouraging as most of the kids around Lucy's age are already potty-trained and she is not even close. I know mentally though they need to be ready and if not, there is no point in stressing yourself out about it. Does he have any older friends he can imitate on the potty? Does he see Daddy go? Does he have cute underwear? Google ideas to try, like the m and m's or what someother creative moms have done. Like someone told me though - they will be potty trained before they go to school, so just be patient and positive. 

Ardmhs83

munica00 said:

Hello! My DD just turned 3 and we've been trying with the potty for over a year. I will ask her in the morning after I'm changing her overnight diaper "do you want to put on your underwear?" and she will yell NO. But in the past few days my husband and I have decided to just make her wear them every day, be very encouraging and make her sit and pee. She at least will stay on the potty and not jump off like your son, but she will sometimes be on and off the potty, not peeing, for 2 or more hours. So frustrating for me as I have a 7 month old too. A few months ago, she was going every day a few times but only pee, and for some reason we stopped ( I think b/c we were travelling for Thanksgiving and it would not be feasible to take the potty with us). Then she wasn't interested since then. She always expects a piece of candy while she sits on it, then a treat after. Which I don't have a problem with, but my H and I are going to buy her a gumball machine and put candy in it and only let her have it after she goes in the potty. The sticker chart didn't work for us, and we don't have an ipad or smartphones to do the apps. It is very discouraging as most of the kids around Lucy's age are already potty-trained and she is not even close. I know mentally though they need to be ready and if not, there is no point in stressing yourself out about it. Does he have any older friends he can imitate on the potty? Does he see Daddy go? Does he have cute underwear? Google ideas to try, like the m and m's or what someother creative moms have done. Like someone told me though - they will be potty trained before they go to school, so just be patient and positive. 

Thank you for your response.  He is actually doing great now!  He is about 99% potty trained now.  My only problem now is that he still likes to hold his poop in to the point of constipation.  He has pooped a few times on the potty and we really praise him, but I still don't think he's totally comfortable with it yet.  I guess the poop part will finally sink it soon.  Until then just gotta deal with the constipation.

Thanks again!  Good luck to you as well