Two things...bachelor/bachelorette party issues and peed on a stupid test

mcgeeva

So first things first I must vent about. I am MOH in my cousin's wedding this november. I am the only one of the whole family and bridesmaids that lives in another state. My cousin the bride took it upon herself with one of the bridesmaids and her bf to plan a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. I said from the very begining I would not be able to go because it's too much for me. I just moved a month ago, I have a kid, im pregnant and I've already make three trips up north for her and just can't swing another one because I am going up in two weekend to build all her table favors. With that being said I get a nasty text from my cousin yesterday saying that she was disgusted as the moh I have done nothing. And she thinks it best to tell the truth in how you feel blah blah blah it goes on an on. So I send a text back saying what exactly am I not doing..dishing enough cash out??? She couldn't asnwer any of my questions. I went to the shower, brought a gift, paid for all the games, and 7 gifts for winners, and brought a dish! What more haven't I done??! I gave my cousin all my wedding vases which costs me hundreds of dollars so she didn't have to spend money and drove 6 hours to drop it off on the 4th of july. So I was completly pissed. I called the bride to ask her if I am not meeting her expectations because I have no idea why I got a nasty text from another cousin..mind you who had NEVVVVVVER came to a single grad party, wedding or anything for me or even met my child. So turns out the bride sent out a text the night before asking for 250 each to pay for the joint bachelor/bachelorette party. 250 gets you a hotel - sharing with 10 others in one room and a table at a club. Are you fn kidding me?!! I'm sorry one you don't plan your own event and ask people to dish out cash. I said did people agree to this? She said well it was 185 and no one gave money or confirmed so now rooms are more expensive. She doesn't see why it's a big deal for people to pay 250 each. Sorry but not doing it. I'm already paying around 400 to have the front of my dress completly remade because I will be very pregnant by then. So only thing i could think to do was send an email asking how I can help and if one everyone can even afford that amount because if they can't we need to either cut back on this party of theirs or cancel. What would you all do?? Send money (not made of it) or what??? I hate being told im not doing my job but they planned this themselves and I didn't agree to the cost.

Two like an idiot my friend told me about a pee test to tell if your having a boy or girl. Don't get me wrong im super blessed to get pregnant after my first cycle at shady grove again and will love this baby more then anything. So the box was 50 bucks..aye im an idiot number one for paying that. Two it says clearly on the box if you have pcos or took progesterone  you should not take this test. And I proceeded to do it anyways! It said boy and I was a little sad because I want so bad to have a girl and a boy since this is my last. Would you put any trust into this stupid test at all or just say f it and wait till my anatomy scan to get my feathers all ruffled??

Sorry too much for a thursday..been a long week

IBackBevo

Is this Intelligender?  If so, I would not trust it at all. I think it only tests how acidic your urine is.  I took some pee-on-a-stick test (but it was much cheaper) and it told me I was having a girl.  I had a boy. 

FYI, there is some blood test where they can tell you as early as 9-10 weeks if you are just dying to know, but it isn't cheap. At 15 weeks, couldn't you go get a gender scan?  We have them at those free standing ultrasound places around here for as little as $30-40.

kmc84

I'd be pissed at your cousin! You don't plan your own events and then demand money from people. Heck no! I don't think I would send money. You have already done a lot time wise and money wise. I feel like some people get out of control with entitlement issues around weddings. So what you can to help, but I don't think you need to throw more money at this wedding.

As far as the gender test goes, I wouldn't put any stock into it. Wait until your A/S and see what your doctor thinks!

mcgeeva

Okay good that makes me feel a little better! Yeah im going to have to wait im not willing to shell out anymore money after paying out of pocket for shady grove. Yeah doc couldn't figure it out so 3 more weeks!

mcgeeva

kmc84 you hit the nail on the head. She is being an entitled brat. I told her would you rather me dish out cash and not take your daily calls and emails or be supportive and all the help I can be? Let's be honest some times people like that really do prefer the money. So I am hoping I don't loose my S@it by the end of this wedding. I will be suprised if the other girls even email me back.

TJ1979

Wow, what is it with people and weddings?  Send money?  Um, hell no.  You've done your part, and you have enough going on in your own life.  I would be irate.

And as far as the gender test, I would put zero stock in it.  Wait till the a/s.

mcgeeva

TJ your right! It's just so easy to guilt me. I hate having to explain and defend myself. Are you not doing things because your pregnant?? No..that's getting old. Every wedding is different and seriously everyone has different expectations and just because they expect it doesn't mean it should be given. Two more months of this thank god

ccam

Honestly, I wouldn't have even sent out an e-mail trying to help at all.  It's not like you're backing out last minute, you told them from the beginning that you wouldn't be there.  So this whole planning thing should fall on them, not you!!  I definitely would not pay and, quite honestly, being pregnant is a perfectly fine excuse not to go!! 

Just count down the days until it's over! 

mcgeeva

I know trying. Just hoping I don't get any more nasty texts from people.

mcgeeva

Yeah so for the bride says she didnt say anything but the girls have been telling her a lot of duties should of been mine. But I am not sure what I haven't done. Two I'm not help in calling ac clubs because I know nothing about the area, place etc. They preplanned all this. Such a mess and no one is responding to email. So I have a feeling im going to be the bad guy regardless. Since I can't attend its so dumb to have me involved at all.

Yeah dumb idea I should of never taken it!

mcgeeva

yeah pretty much. so far heard from two girls and they are just paying the money. That only leaves one other. I asked if I could send champagne or anything to help and the two said no. So if they talk they talk I have in writing I tried and asked.

Saraevh

Weddings ... UGH.  That's all I've got.  LoL.  

mcgeeva

all i can say is shoot me now! Spoke to the bride - cousin that called still talking trash. Best part of the whole thing - the 250 is a made up amount!! She said she rounded up so just incase anyone backs out she doesnt get stuck paying a dime. I am so beyond disgusted.

mcgeeva

Leah I do completly agree with that he would be in love with having a little play buddy. I was 11 months younger then my brother and we had an amazing relationship when we were little so I wanted that for him. But it's true he can have that no matter what. I just want so bad to have someone's hair to do as they get older and dress them up! I'm such a crafty person so I know there are some things my husband will not want me to do with him. Anything girly pretty much

RoseHQ12

TJ1979 said:

Wow, what is it with people and weddings?  Send money?  Um, hell no.  You've done your part, and you have enough going on in your own life.  I would be irate.

And as far as the gender test, I would put zero stock in it.  Wait till the a/s.

All of this!

laura1

Yeah, weddings, ugh.  Good luck!

As for the gender thing, I also agree the urine test probably doesn't mean much - it is a 50/50 chance!  I was the same way with #2 - very happy to be pg, but really wanted a girl for all the same reasons you said.  For that reason, we didn't find out the sex by ultrasound - I figured after labor, there was no way I was going to be disappointed regardless of whether the baby was a boy or girl, but if I found out at 18 weeks that I was having a boy, I might spend the rest of pregnancy being sad about it (I am not sure I would have, but that was my fear).  Anyway, I ended up with a girl in the end (x2!), but I understand your feelings!

mcgeeva

Laura that's crazy! I guess your right. I think I have the same fear because at my last appointment my bp was so high because I thought they were going to tell me then yesterday. And the thing is you know you will be happy but knowing it's our last makes it a little tougher because you want both. I know there is so many people that would jump on me for saying that but it's true. Either way we would be happy but I could not wait till birth!! I am dying to know already! 

LolaX2

Wow sorry the wedding thing has turned into such a mess! As far as I am concerned you have already gone above and beyond. Being MOH or in somebodies wedding does not mean that you are supposed to be the brides slave and or pay for everything! 

You are pregnant and have enough of your own very important issue to worry about i.e. the health and well being of you and your growing baby. You should not have to deal with all this added stress. I would go to the wedding, be supportive of the bride, have a nice time and not do a thing more! Try not to let it stress you out too much!

mcgeeva

Thank you! If only the people involved saw things the same way. But at the end of the day no matter how much you do or don't do people will talk. And the people that talk the most are the ones who don't do a thing themselves.