"Diaper Raffle" at shower??

NicCart81

My (very early 20's) cousin and his gf are having a baby in December.  Their baby shower is in October and I just received the invite.  Along with the invite was a little business sized card that states "Diaper Raffle.  Bring a pack of diapers of any size for your chance to win a prize!!!"

I have never heard of this.  (Then again, I barely heard of the book instead of a card thing a few months ago.)  Is this common?  It seems weird to me to ask for diapers along with a gift...

NicCart81

How is this MUD?

NicCart81

Thank you for answering, MandJS.    Just to be clear, I am not the one throwing the shower... this was with the invite I got.  I am nearly 33 and don't have a lot of pregnant friends.  I figured this was a "younger" new mom thing to do.    Was just curious if it was the common thing now.

:-/

Shobb414

NicCart81 said:

How is this MUD?

This.

And

I think it's all up to you, they don't demand you must bring diapers. You just don't get entered in the raffle so if you don't want to bring them then don't.

SingleMom31

OP, anyone who brings diapers gets entered into effectively a door prize drawing. In my very limited experience, it's expected that you'll get them in addition to your gift (which, in my opinion, is tacky to assume/ask for/etc) and that they'll be unwrapped so that you can hand them over upon arrival. I also agree with PP that the entire concept is rude.

Edit: Rude of the hostess... Not you

NicCart81

Thanks, ladies!  I know I don't have to bring diapers, but I would feel odd now showing up without them.  

After reading some of the other baby shower threads, I'm guessing it's not as uncommon as I thought.  First I learned about the book/card thing, then I learned that guests are being asked to address their own thank you's?  Seems rather tacky!  Oh well.

Anyway, thanks again!

[Deleted User]

It's common in "some circles". I think it's tacky. I just wouldn't bring diapers.

KatFCo

NicCart81 said:

Thanks, ladies!  I know I don't have to bring diapers, but I would feel odd now showing up without them.  

After reading some of the other baby shower threads, I'm guessing it's not as uncommon as I thought.  First I learned about the book/card thing, then I learned that guests are being asked to address their own thank you's?  Seems rather tacky!  Oh well.

Anyway, thanks again!

And this is precisely why it's tacky. Sadly, it's becoming more common, despite its tackiness.

Disneygeek77

Just show up without diapers,  You have nothing to feel bad about. 

dpr320

Personally, I love being told what to bring. A lot less thought and energy. What I hate is when no registry is listed. Then I worry they will have too many of the same etc. I like just going on people's registries, scrolling for the price I want to spend and buying it. Books, diapers etc is easy and cheap enough too.

Pepper6

This is very common in my area as well, but for the few showers I've attended, it's always been about 50/50.  Some people bring diapers, some don't, it's not really a big deal.  I'm going to a baby shower tomorrow that's doing this, but I don't plan to bring diapers because from what I've heard from mom friends is that they like a specific brand/type of diaper and ended up not using half of the packs that people gave them.  I'd rather buy them a gift and/or gift card and let people buy their favorite brands as they need them.

2010weddinggal

It optional besides, alot of people choose not to participate so you will not be the only one.

ajbook

I've been invited to showers with diaper raffles and haven't thought twice about it. Sometimes I bring them, sometimes I don't. No one has ever been at the door announcing or keeping track of who did and didn't participate.

normandyn7

It doesn't really bother me. I have a shower to go to on Sunday and they are doing a diaper raffle AND the book instead of a card. I think that is a little overboard. Plus the girl is having twins so I have to get TWO gifts, diapers, and a book. I mean I know you don't HAVE to bring diapers because honestly who will notice? But the book instead of a card? I feel obligated just because it will be obvious if I give her a card and not a book. I just had a baby so maybe I'll just give her some of my diapers that I have in my closet from my baby shower because I have an excessive amount of size 1 diapers that I'll probably never go through. Just kidding.

normandyn7

MandJS said:

Diaper raffle falls into the book instead of card category. It's asking for an "extra" on top of the gift you are already bringing. AND it is dictating how someone spends their money. And claiming it is "optional" really doesn't work because then you risk being the "only one" who doesn't participate. The rules of etiquette are to ensure the GUESTS are comfortable. Diaper raffles and the like do NOT do this. They are also just flat out tacky. If you want diapers, register for them.

@MandJS Can we be friends?? I've only seen a couple of your replies and it's like you read my mind on some stuff. And you crack me up.

MMason12

NicCart81 said:

How is this MUD?

This! 

And....

I cannot stand the diaper raffle/bring a book thing! 

LanisParty

I design baby shower invitations and diaper raffles at baby showers is a trend that's spreading. I think it's excessive.

If you want diapers have a "diaper shower." If you want clothes and baby gear have a "baby shower." Don't try to milk your guests by asking for both.

If you must do a diaper raffle at your baby shower, don't mention it on the invitation. Instead, include a separate raffle ticket insert. It feels less obligatory on an insert than on the formal invite.

LanisParty

Any shower, whether bridal, wedding, or baby is asking guests for specific types of gifts. You wouldn't bring a toaster to a baby shower!
A diaper shower is a suitable alternative for a mom that already has kids but still wants to celebrate the new baby. The smallest pack of diapers runs $10, much less than the average guest spends on a baby shower gift. Incorporating a diaper raffle into a diaper shower is appropriate.
My diaper shower will be catered, have a rum bar, bottles of wine for game prizes, and several gift cards for the diaper raffle. My family and friends will most definitely not be offended.
"Tacky" is subjective. Ask a few close (honest) friends or family for advice before deciding what kind of shower to have and whether or not to have a diaper raffle.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Luna C

Any shower, whether bridal, wedding, or baby is asking guests for specific types of gifts. You wouldn't bring a toaster to a baby shower! A diaper shower is a suitable alternative for a mom that already has kids but still wants to celebrate the new baby. The smallest pack of diapers runs $10, much less than the average guest spends on a baby shower gift. Incorporating a diaper raffle into a diaper shower is appropriate. My diaper shower will be catered, have a rum bar, bottles of wine for game prizes, and several gift cards for the diaper raffle. My family and friends will most definitely not be offended. "Tacky" is subjective. Ask a few close (honest) friends or family for advice before deciding what kind of shower to have and whether or not to have a diaper raffle.

Seriously, almost every word you wrote is just wrong.

JenW1029

Its common in my area. I decided to not do it after reading that many diapers don't fit your baby shape so it's kind of a waste.

diamondduck13

"bring diapers of any size," what about adult size? That would be a funny response to tacky. Diaper raffles, diaper showers, tacky, tacky.

PrimRoseMama

No. God why? Why?!

cbabych

Honestly I feel the tacky thing is all these women throwing a fit over buying a small pack of diapers to play a game. Is it really that big of a deal to spend 8 bucks on a pack of diapers? I am doing one for my sister, mind you her and her husband are very well off they don't need charity. I spent 50 bucks making a very nice big wine basket as the prize to give away.

A baby shower should be about helping the new mommy prepare for her baby. It really shouldn't be about the money. I would be more excited to see what the door prize is for bringing my pack of diapers than worried about the 8 dollars I spent on them. I think it is so sad that this many bitter women are so "judgy" about it. Stop the selfishness and bring the diapers for the mommy to be!!!

cbabych

So sad that this is how women act towards each other.

xxMiss2Mrs09xx

the first time I heard of a "diaper raffle" was over a year ago when I was invited to a shower..... They wanted specifically "Honest" diapers and I wasn't about to order them online just for a diaper raffle... so I ended up not bringing any.  I ended up getting not looking at their gift registry and getting a card and gift card to Target. (coming up on my own shower, I feel bad now that I should have paid more attention).

Meery82

cbabych said:

Honestly I feel the tacky thing is all these women throwing a fit over buying a small pack of diapers to play a game. Is it really that big of a deal to spend 8 bucks on a pack of diapers? I am doing one for my sister, mind you her and her husband are very well off they don't need charity. I spent 50 bucks making a very nice big wine basket as the prize to give away.

A baby shower should be about helping the new mommy prepare for her baby. It really shouldn't be about the money. I would be more excited to see what the door prize is for bringing my pack of diapers than worried about the 8 dollars I spent on them. I think it is so sad that this many bitter women are so "judgy" about it. Stop the selfishness and bring the diapers for the mommy to be!!!

It appears that this idiot only created her bump name to come in and shame us all. 

How dare we judge women who throw their own showers and beg for diapers! 

Kindly fuck off, @cbabych.

twister22

cbabych said:

Honestly I feel the tacky thing is all these women throwing a fit over buying a small pack of diapers to play a game. Is it really that big of a deal to spend 8 bucks on a pack of diapers? I am doing one for my sister, mind you her and her husband are very well off they don't need charity. I spent 50 bucks making a very nice big wine basket as the prize to give away.

A baby shower should be about helping the new mommy prepare for her baby. It really shouldn't be about the money. I would be more excited to see what the door prize is for bringing my pack of diapers than worried about the 8 dollars I spent on them. I think it is so sad that this many bitter women are so "judgy" about it. Stop the selfishness and bring the diapers for the mommy to be!!!

cbabych said:

So sad that this is how women act towards each other.

No, what's sad is making your guests uncomfortable and treating a shower like a charity event. About 2 years ago I was invited to a baby shower were the hostess did a diaper raffle. It really bothered me because I only had a $20 budget, and now I felt obligated to buy a $10 pack of diapers, leaving me with $10 for my actual gift. I got a car seat toy. I felt very cheap and super uncomfortable with my little gift.

526SadieSadie

NicCart81 said:

Thanks, ladies!  I know I don't have to bring diapers, but I would feel odd now showing up without them.  

This is exactly why it's a stupidly tacky idea.