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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
DiveFrog
member
Help explain to me the No bottles at a year "Rule"
DiveFrog
member
To preface, I am not at all a softie of a Mom, I'm okay with CIO, I'm ok with making my kid go cold turkey to break bad habits etc. However, I also need to mentally understand why something isn't good for DD, or us as parents, or us as a family, before making changes that upset DD.
From my internet research the "issues" with continuing to give bottles after a year are the following 1) Tooth decay, 2)Sleeping/Bed association with bottle, 3)Drinking too much milk which could potentially cause low iron if a child is replacing food with milk, or could potentially cause child to be overweight because the child is taking in too many calories (mostly if they are getting milk with meals and extra bottles in between meals). If I missed something here please let me know.
I know some will also say developmentally they no longer need a bottle at age one, but I don't necessarily buy into that one...if the WHO recommends breastfeeding until 2...Then in my opinion children have a biological need to suck on something (breast, pacifier, bottle) until at least 2yrs. old.
So, here is my mental conundrum. DD is 16 months, I weaned her from BF about a month ago. She currently is offered 2 8-10oz bottles or CM a day. One after she eats breakfast, and the other in the afternoon around 2-3pm. Neither is associated at all with a nap, or bedtime. She never has a bottle in bed and her teeth are brushed every evening. So, I don't find her at risk for tooth decay from bottles. And she doesn't need one to fall asleep.
Every guideline I have ever seen says a 1-2year old should have around 10-20oz of milk a day. This is what she drinks. She is small for her age, only around 21lbs., she is a good eater. She will eat chicken and other meats, as well as spinach. So I'm not concerned about her iron intake, or really her taking in more calories then she needs. She portion controls her food, and I limit the milk to 20oz/day
So, if a bottle is just a vessel to drink milk out of that my DD much prefers at this time to a sippy cup. Why do I need to put a stop to that?...I mean the sippy and straw cups she will gladly use for water....why is it so much better that she drink her milk out of these containers also?
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Re: Help explain to me the No bottles at a year "Rule"
We are in the same boat. I am curious for the responses. She drinks a bottle in the morning when she gets up (6 oz), she gets some milk at breakfast at daycare/school through a sippy. Then milk at lunch through a sippy, water for snack and dinner (sippy). But, I give her another bottle about 30-45 min before bed as part of our wind-down (6oz or less). Then we brush teeth, read books, then bed. No issues.
Are bottles that bad?
So, will she not take milk from a sippy or straw cup? Have you ever tried cutting out the bottles and only offering a sippy for several days in a row?I ask, because the only way you'll really know she's not ready to give the bottle up, is if you seriously try to take it away. If she truly refuses, and will only be comforted by a bottle, then you'll know for sure that she needs the bottle a little longer.
It's not a matter of rushing your kid or forcing an issues because "you have to". By 12-15 months, most children have the motor skills necessary to pick up, hold, and use a cup. Since, they obviously must learn sometime, many parents try to encourage practicing these skills as early as possible. If the end goal is get your child drinking out of a cup, then it just makes sense to constantly be working towards that.
The WHO recommends breastfeeding for two years and it has absolutely nothing to do with the child's biological need to suck. It has to do with the benefits of breastfeeding (providing an easily digestible source of nutrients, the immunity benefits, analgesic properties, etc.). This is related partially to the milk itself (regardless of container - breast or bottle) and partially from the act of breastfeeding itself.
The way a child suckles at a breast is a different mechanism than the way they suck from a bottle. Bottle makers try to mimic as best they can, but there's a limit to what they can do. (and trust me, as a working mom I appreciate bottles immensely!) Which means a child who breastfeeds (at the breast) past one doesn't have the same risks as one who drinks the milk (be it from cow or mom) from a bottle. The issue isn't just tooth decay, but also a changing of the shape of the mouth/jaw/teeth and potential impairment/delay of oral skills.
And the obesity factor is also due to the way they drink from a bottle, not necessarily when they drink it. You'll often hear moms complain that their child doesn't drink as much when switched off the bottle - that's because it is much much easier to drink from a bottle than a cup (for a child) because the flow is fast and constant. They don't have to control it. Which means they often over-drink from a bottle, drinking past the point of "fullness." They get used to this feeling, and need to eat/drink more on a consistent basis. So it's not that your child drinking from a bottle will become instantly fat, they just have a higher predisposition in the future to continue eating to that "past fullness" state as their norm, which can increase their likelihood of childhood obesity.
I'm not trying to be preachy - my nearly 2 year old still uses a pacifier at night so he has the same mouth risks as a bottle user (and potentially moreso based on the number of hours he sleeps versus a couple bottles a day) - but just pointing out what the harm is so you can make your own decisions.
After an epic battle on this I asked myself why is it SO important? Why rush her, try again in a few weeks, another month.
So if any one has rec's for a very slow flow sippy I will take them.
PP did make a good point about them wanting to "control" more as we get closer to two though so that's something to consider as well.
DS only drinks 8-12 of wcm a day. The pedi said that's normal. I make sure he eats real cheese (not American or velveta) and yogurt everyday as well.
My pedi is kind of a hard ass, so take this however you will. We asked for suggestions on how to get DS to drink WCM out of a sippy. At the time DS would just throw it off of his tray. He would drink water out of a sippy just fine - he loves water. So his suggestion was this: Only offer milk in the sippy, don't offer water - I took this to mean at meal times. Set the sippy there and he will get thirsty enough and just start drinking out of it. It worked, and it didn't take long.
Obviously do what you think is right for your child, but this worked quickly for us. He now happily drinks milk out of his soft-spout sippy at meal times. We are still on 2 bottles a day (DS is almost 14 months). He has a 3-4 oz bottle at bedtime (we brush teeth afterwards) and he has a 5oz bottle in the morning. I think that I amt he one holding onto these bottles - he loves them, but I also love the snuggle time. At meals he gets roughly 4oz of milk in a sippy and he eats like a champ - loves meat, veggies and fruit - so I don't worry about low iron. And he's a peanut, so I don't worry about overeating.
Baby #2!
We tried going to sippy cups cold turkey. She refused to drink anything for 3 days straight and got dehydrated. So that was a fail.
However, we did successfully cut down on the amount of bm/formula she gets. She now gets a 4 oz bottle at every meal/snack (with a handle so it's a little more like a sippy cup - we use Advent). She doesn't get offered a bottle other than at mealtimes - the rest of the day she drinks water from a sippy cup.
And I'm totally fine with this. Some kids just prefer bottles. She's not walking around all day with it, and not going to bed with it, so whatever. I'm stressed enough about worrying that my underweight multi-food-allergy daughter eats enough and gains weight. I'm not going to worry about this too. And apparently, I took a bottle until I was 2. Maybe it's genetic.
(Oh, and she's on formula because of food allergies - there is no milk substitute we can use.)
I had the same issues transitioning milk to a bottle and felt a tremendous amount of pressure to do it at 12 months and not a day later. I agree with all of your points. Obviously it's necessary to eventually learn the skill to drink from a sippy/cup, but if it takes an extra month, 2, 3...so be it IMO. FWIW, my lo's wouldn't drink their milk from a sippy either (just water) and I tried EVERY cup out there until I found the NUK one. The nipple is quite similiar to that of a bottle it its really a sippy. They use that before bed now only. It really helped us with the transition. Good luck!
FWIW, I know many moms who do a bottle well into 2+ years. I mean, really, just do what YOU and your family are comfortable with. Your LO won't be using a bottle when they go to kindergarten, it all works itself out!