TTC after 35

Not the kind of "bump" I was looking for...

Seems like there have been a lot of bumps along the TTC road for me lately.  Certainly the last 10 months have been difficult since my husband decided he no longer was "ready" to TTC even though we'd been trying for 6ish months.  Then we finally decided together that this would be the month to start TTC again and then last week we find out he is going to Switzerland for 2 months for his job and leaving October 13th.  So last night we decided we wouldn't try this month just in case we happened to be successful because then he would be away and it just wouldn't be the same.  I didn't want to tell him over the phone, go to doctor's appointments without him, etc.  Then today, my coworker announces she's 8 weeks pregnant.  (I have another coworker that's 20 weeks along).  I'm happy for her, she's actually my age and it only took them 3 months, but it's tough and I feel sad.  My husband and I talked last night about starting when he returns from Switzerland at the end of December, which for my cycle we'd actually be starting the first week of January which is around the time I'll be ovulating.  I'm trying to tell myself that 3 months, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't matter.  And it probably really doesn't.  But I can't help but feel a little sad.  And every day I'm surrounded by pregnant women.  :-(

Re: Not the kind of "bump" I was looking for...

  • Any chance you could join him in Switzerland for some time... escape the pregnant women for a fun, "childless" European vacay? (that they'll probably be jealous of :) 
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    Jacque SillsBeckyP005mawinter
  • Mindaa.....has a great idea!  Hopefully, you could continue the story of making your little one over in Switzerland....now, that has a ring to it, right? 

    :\">

    Hoping you are doing ok.....My best friend just dropped the bomb that I was fearing on me......she is 8 weeks pregnant and she didn't even ask me how I was doing or any type of question of concern.....that shouldn't be a shock, since she wasn't even supportive during the time, I was going through my IVF cycle.....go, figure.......deep breath!     

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive 15 to 80 day cycle tickers
    kjmitlyng
  • Loading the player...
  • I wish I could join him!  Tickets are so expensive and he'll be working while he's there so I doubt I'll get a chance to go.  Maybe though!
  • Do you have any testing that needs to be done? since you aren't ttc now is a great time to do it, also a great time for you to be super healthy and really just concentrate on your self to be in prime condition for january!

    I am sorry he is leaving I hope something magical happens so you too get to go to Switzerland!! and then as jacque said maybe magic will happen LOL

    image
    My Ovulation Chart



    Me: 41 DH: 46. We are TTC our 1st, started July '11,
    3 cycles clomid with Ob,
    1 cycle Tamoxifen with Ob,
    Diagnosed PCOS 11/5/12
    clomid, trigger & timed bd 12/12 BFN
    1st clomid IUI 1/4/13 BFN.
    2nd clomid IUI 2/13 cancelled didn't respond to clomid.
    3/15/13 scheduled laparoscopy & on bcp.

    May 10 IUI from injectibles - BFN 

    May 22 done with interventions it will either happen or it won't. 

    February 2014 No longer actively trying, but not preventing. 

    SURPISE BFP 4/2/2015!!!!!!!!!!

    Miscarriage 4/23/15

     

    BeckyP005kjmitlyngJacque Sills
  • That's definitely how I would make myself feel better. But yes, flights everywhere have gotten super expensive, it stinks! 
    That will be off season for European travel though, so keep watching for deals or ask a travel agent for suggestions on what combination of dates might get you the best value. 

    Switzerland is such a comfortable country to travel in, and so easy to get around by train (including to neighboring countries), so go hang out solo if DH is busy working... you'll be saving $$ on lodging, right? :) 

    Haha Jacque, I actually knew a couple who named their children by where they were conceived.  A daughter was named Brazil... can't remember the other name. 
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    kjmitlyngJacque Sills
  • Aw... Sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I'm getting to the point where it's a lot harder to be happy when others announce their pregnancies.  I flip the actress switch and put on an Oscar worthy performance but inside, I'm crumbling.
    Good idea about getting any testing done during that time... If you have any that need to be done.  If you can make it overseas, then definitely do it! That's how our DD was conceived (Estonia!!) but if not, I just hope time flies for you and January will be here before you know it!  Plus, 2014 is bound to be better luck right? ;)
    kjmitlyng
  • I hope the next three months go by fast for you. The holidays should help pass the time.
    I'm glad your husband agreed to start trying again. That is good news. So just spend the next three months taking your vitamins and getting yourself healthy for January.
    We are here to help make the time go by.

      Me:39, DH:40

    DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04

    TTC#3

    NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13

    Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks

    CP 2/14

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

             imageimage

    All welcome

    kjmitlyng
  • I hope the time flies by for you! Maybe you can have some "girl" time with friends! We are here for you!

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



    kjmitlyng
  • Thank you all for the support. I know when I post here I will always feel better after reading your replies. I don't think it will be possible to join him as tickets are so expensive and we'd also have to pay to board our dog. I don't have any current testing to be done. I had 2 tests done a few weeks ago and they were both normal. You're all right about getting myself as healthy as I can be for TTC in January. I need to focus on that. I need to be better about taking my vitamins! @futuremrsb-I totally had an oscar winning performance today when my coworker told us she was pregnant! Thanks again, ladies! xoxo
  • Well it stinks that he will be gone, but it will be a great time to work on your health and prepare for TTC when he get's back! 

    It really sucks with pregnant coworker-- My coworker has the exact same due date I would have had is I hadn't loss my baby.  Luckily we work in separate departments and I don't see her that often but everytime I do it is a stab in  my heart.
    ***siggy/ticker warning***

    Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
    Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR,  DH: normal

     IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
    - poor responder
    ***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
    IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
    FET 5/20- BFP
    1st Beta- 641
    2nd beta- 2166
    Sono- TWINS!!!!
    Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks.  Healthy and no NICU!  So blessed!



    image 

  • @ksgsmu - I'm so sorry about the situation with your coworker, that must be so hard.  I'm glad at least you work in different departments.  I work in the same room with all of my coworkers.  Thankfully I feel like I'm friends with all of them and I know if I mentioned anything about my struggles that they would be supportive.  I just haven't felt like I want to say anything at this point. 

    Hugs!
  • Sorry your dh will be gone..I have had many pregnancies announced since I have been trying and yes they all have been bittersweet. I have tried to be happy for them but they never knew that I was not. I had even distanced myself at times. So your not alone..((hug)) were all here for you!!
    kjmitlyng
  • My coworker who is about 20 weeks along (the other is 9 weeks) announced the gender of her baby today at work. I felt happy for her. She is a great person and deserves to show her happiness. Then I had a very strange thing happen. I went into the bathroom at Target and a couple of women and a child were in the bathroom. One woman had just taken a pregnancy test (in the bathroom at target) and it was positive. She was devastated and crying because she didn't want to be pregnant. I'm not sure why I had to be the one to walk in on this as I'd give anything for a BFP. It felt like a cruel joke. Needless to say, I've been a little down since that happened.
  • Your kidding. Wow. Ever hear of birth control lady?? I would of been crying then heading home for a drink. Ugh...sorry :(

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



    kjmitlyng
  • Hmm...you got extra hugs! Sometimes I really hate computers :)

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



    kjmitlyng
  • I would have probably wanted to hug and console her, right before I tell her that it will be ok, that the baby's mommy just showed up, and that would be ME! :)- Lol....
    Lilypie Trying to Conceive 15 to 80 day cycle tickers
    BeckyP005kjmitlyng
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