"I don't want to play with you anymore!"

LaurelBee

We were at a park yesterday and there were 3yo twin sisters there playing. Ds asked if they wanted to play and was running around with them. Suddenly one turned around and said "I don't want to play with you anymore! GO AWAY!" He looked heartbroken. I said "well, that's OK! If they aren't going to play nice, let's find new friends!"

So then he went up to another little boy and said "want to play with me?" That little boy said no too!! The look on his face broke my heart. So I suggested we go get a snack and that lightened the mood.

How do you guys deal with situations like that?? Is it weird for him to ask other kids to play? I'm just not sure how to explain why other kids don't want to play with him. And I need to cope better too Bc it hurts my heart when he is turned down.

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LoveActually4

I hate it when that happens to DS1 and the look on his face breaks my heart.

::puts child in a bubble::

missymo

It's totally normal, but it makes me sad too!

My DD tried to hug a little girl goodbye at preschool the other day, and the other child was not into it. No big deal - and the other kid had every right not to want a hug! - but my heart still broke a bit for my girl. I'm such a sap.

Libby1978

I think in these situations your reaction is key.  You can not control how another kid will respond to your DS wanting to play with them, but you can control how you react.  Of course you don't want to see your child's feelings hurt, but it's going to happen sometimes.  If you have an emotional reaction to it then your DS will pick up on that.  Just say something like, "let's go play over there on the ____ together." 

LaurelBee

You guys are right, this will be one of many rejections in life. I feel like I did OK yesterday, Bc I wanted to say "fuck off you little shits!" And stick out my tongue. But I controlled my urge

RayRay007

I don't think it's weird for a kid to ask others to play. I also don't think it's mean for the other kids to say no if they don't want to play. I mean, what if you were an adult and didn't want to do something with another adult, and a stranger at that? Why do we expect little kids to always play with anyone that wants to play with them? Anyway. I hope they weren't rude or mean in the way they told him they didn't want to play. I think it's a good learning experience. Not everyone will want to do what he wants to do, etc. and sometimes people want to be left alone. If the kids weren't rude about it, I would probably just shrug and say "that's ok" and move on and tell DD, if she needs more of an explanation, that sometimes other kids don't want to play and that's ok. If they were rude about I'd say that I was sorry they were mean, but also that sometimes other kids don't want to play. And find something else awesome for DD to do. 

Libby1978

LaurelBee said:

You guys are right, this will be one of many rejections in life. I feel like I did OK yesterday, Bc I wanted to say "fuck off you little shits!" And stick out my tongue. But I controlled my urge

Haha!  I know exactly how you feel!!

Something I started telling the twins once they were in grade school is that not everyone wants to be your friend.  You won't get invited to every party and some people are not going to like you.  That's life.  And the great thing about friends is that you get to choose them.  Obviouisly these lessons are not for a 3 year old, but eventually it will be a good thing to learn. 

Libby1978

MrsSkull1107 said:

@libby1978 is so wise!

That's very sweet! @MrsSkull1107 

:x

msdrdg

I have almost the opposite problem.  I'll bring DS to the playground and he will just want to run around and stuff on his own.  He's not much of a joiner so if other kids ask him to play he doesn't know what to do and ends up doing his own thing anyway which sometimes upsets the other kids.