Isn't it crazy how you can have good, almost "normal" days and then you think.."is this real? Is my baby really gone?" I just can't believe it sometimes. It sucks. sucks. sucks. I want her. I guess I'm still in shock that this happened, and this is my life.
I totally agree with you. I thought I was doing well, but then I feel like I've got a black cloud following me and no matter how hard I try to feel happy about something else, it just doesn't seem to help.
I still have those moments. Today is the due date for one of my friends; tomorrow is Devon's EDD. When I found out today was her actual due date [I thought it was last week], it hit me so hard that I had to walk away and not have an anxiety attack. Those things still affect me, even a year later. It's so hard to be a loss mom.
It is so hard to think that this is truly our reality. There are days that are so ridiculously hard and all I want is for my daughter to be here growing and being healthy.
"Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."
I had a rough day too... Had my postpartum appointment and I just felt like all the nurses and doctors were whispering about me... Got to be very aggravating! Hope you have a better day tomorrow! ((Hugs))
(((Hugs))) ladies, this journey of grief is so unpredictable. There are many aspects I hate, but the unpredictability makes it so hard to manage the grief. I can relate to feeling like I am doing well and then *BAM* I am knocked for a loop. Hoping for better days for all of us!
Hugs, I get this too. There are days when I am almost feeling too good, and I feel like there is something wrong with me. But then there are days where the pain feels just as intense and unbellievable as the day it happened.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
Yeah...My day at work will be just fine, then I'll be driving home and think those exact thoughts. I've cried more times on my drive home than not....
Hugs!
My drive home always reminds me of Domenik... That's when he was most active. I would sing and talk to him, now my rides are so quiet. I try playing my iPod, but there are so many songs that remind me of him and our favorite time together.
I hear ya. Some days are ok and then when I realize things have been ok and she hasn't been in the front of my mind then I feel guilty... Like I'm not giving her the attention she deserves. Then it becomes a worse day. :-(
It's been 4 weeks tomorrow for me. Some days I feel like man, it's got to be almost time to try again right?? Then other day's I feel like my world is crumbing around me. I feel like people forget after a certain amount of time has gone by or that I shouldn't be feeling a certain way because it's been a month. Comparing our grieving with the weird weather is spot on. I feel like now I see more pregnant women, people are announcing their pregnancies, and baby commercials are on every commercial break!!!
Re: Good/Bad days
I still have those moments. Today is the due date for one of my friends; tomorrow is Devon's EDD. When I found out today was her actual due date [I thought it was last week], it hit me so hard that I had to walk away and not have an anxiety attack. Those things still affect me, even a year later. It's so hard to be a loss mom.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
Ticker warning
Hugs, I get this too. There are days when I am almost feeling too good, and I feel like there is something wrong with me. But then there are days where the pain feels just as intense and unbellievable as the day it happened.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
Hugs!
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**