Maternity leave-thinking ahead

shortnstumpy

I work for a government hospital so am entitled to 52 weeks paid maternity leave which is great but my husband just brought up that when I do go back to work it will be harder for baby to separate from me as we will have been together full time for a year. Do you think this would lead to seperation anxiety? Would it be better to arrange day care 1-2 days a week earlier on so our baby can get used to being away from familiar surroundings? I feel bad as I didn't even think about anything like this but hubby is worried it may make seperation worse in the future?

knash87

I think it is possible, but it may also depend on your child. I had to go back when my daughter was 3 months. At about 6 months she started being extremely attached to me (9 months later and she still is) but the funny thing is, she has never once cried when I've left her to go to work (she is always with close family). She will cry if she can't have me when I am at home, but always waves goodbye when I leave.. Even plays a little teasing kissy game anyway, the point is, it could totally depend on your child. I think child care a couple times a week to get your LO used to being away from you may be a good idea!

MissLadyTay

I think being home with my kid for a year would definitely be worth a little separation anxiety. And having a kid in daycare part time likely wont make much of a difference with separation anxiety - that's a very common phase for babies and toddlers to go through, whether they are in daycare or not.

Ziegeficker

It may be harder (it may not), but you've gotta do what you've gotta do. If I had the opportunity to take a year off, I wouldn't blink -- I'd do it. Also, if it makes you feel any better, DS (who started daycare at 2.5 months old) has recently started freaking out when I drop him off at daycare, and he never used to do that. So you just never know...but I assure you, he/she will adjust. It'll be alright, mama!

CaliVal

I think with daycare it's better to do it all at once... I think the unstable routine would actually be worse as far as separation anxiety. But also take into consideration the older they get the more they are aware when Mommy is gone. If I were you I'd take the year off and then worry about DC.

alphalyrae

I think it's going to depend on your individual child. A close friend has two children.  Her son absolutely hated being separated from her for daycare, the daughter loved it. They were raised with the same environmental factors and sent to daycare at the same time. But each of them has a different personality and a different bond with their mother. Not to say the daughter doesn't love her mother because the minute she wakes up from her nap and she can't see mommy, she cries out for her.

Mkherren12

I've seen seperation anxiety happen with moms that went back at 6wks. Later on the baby just developed it. It can happen to anyone. I would stay home for a year but after so many months (you decide) plan date nights with you husband and get a sitter. Then you get to enjoy the year and your baby gets used to you being gone in small doses. Maybe towards the end of year start dropping baby off for a whole day on Saturday or something. Just my thoughts :-) if I had a whole year is take it! You can find other ways to help baby get over seperation anxiety. I've never seen a baby cry for more than a week or two at drop off. I used to work at a daycare. Even then they only cry for a minute or so before the daycare worker has gotten them moved on to something else.

MrsT2008

Separation anxiety is a normal phase that hits kids at different times and with different intensities. I personally can confirm that the kids at DD's daycare that started at or after a year tend to take longer to adjust to drop offs vs then kids who started around 3 months. But they all do adjust and do just fine. Even knowing this, I wouldn't hesitate to take a full year off if it was available to me. A whole year for a week or two of difficult daycare drop offs would be worth it.

crwel1048

I agree that it totally depends on the child. If I had an opportunity to take 52 weeks of paid leave I would do it in a heartbeat. I work in a school district so I get a lot of breaks and DS stays with me during that time. When he goes back to the sitter in August after being home with me over the summer he is a little hesitant, but overall adjusts fine. We have done that the last two summers (as well as winter and spring breaks). Again, he just may be one of those kiddos that do well with transition. 

momo214

Can I ask where you live? This does not sound like US and I am soooo jealous of 52 weeks paid. I'm scraping my hours just to get two months paid! What a blessing!

LindsayB0505

I live in Canada and we all get 1 year maternity leave before going back to work. I agree with the others, no matter what the age you may get some separation anxiety. My daughter started at a day home when she was 11 months (after me being home full time) and she did great. She loved being able to play with the other kids. She would cry sometimes when it was time for us to take her home because she didn't want to leave!

frasey

Yeah I had a yr off with DD1 (yay Canada!). When I went back to work, she had a BIT of separation anxiety, but not a lot. She was used to spending time around other people, she had had sleepovers at my mom's place, and we did several daycare visits before I actually had to leave her there. Overall she did fine, she cried for a few days at drop off, but I dont think it lasted longer than a week. 

Jessicasmalley

I'm so jealous! I get 6 weeks unpaid leave. I work in a small office and they said they aren't obligated to give me any time off legally! If I have to go out on bedrest, I'm skrewed!

sarag0116

I think that's an impossible thing to guess ahead of time. Children are all different. I would just take the time  and figure out dc later!

raeg13

Every situation is different, but I certainly don't think it would hurt to send him/her 1 or 2 days just for a few weeks before you go back.  I don't even think you would need to do it more than 2 weeks before hand.  

shortnstumpy

I live in Australia. Thank you for all your replies. I was actually kind of down on myself that it's something I hadn't even thought if until hubby mentioned it. I think the suggestion of date nights and some weekends sounds good. It's my first baby and I've never had to go to a daycare so I wasn't sure how easy babies adjust. Ill just have to take it one day at a time.