I feel like a worse wife since I've been pregnant. Does anyone else feel the same way?
My backstory (you might have a different reason): We're really lucky and I'm thankful for that; I have a fantastic husband who was splitting chores with me before I got pregnant, and we didn't have too many anyway because we have a housekeeper every other week. My chores were taking care of the cats and dishes. With toxoplasmosis fears, my husband has taken over cat litter. The dishes, frankly, are not too time-consuming, since it's just us two right now and the dishwasher takes care of the messy part.
I also have completely lost my sex drive since I got pregnant. So, I feel guilty about that. I help him out in other ways in that department, but without being in the mood myself, it hasn't gone perfectly.
I bring home a majority of our income, so there's that--I work really long hours. My husband is starting his own business out of the home and currently brings home a little of our income from a part-time job--he lost his full-time job about a month ago. I still feel guilty, though, like I'm emasculating him by having him do all the chores and not being interested in sex anymore.
Re: Feeling Like Less of a Wife Since Pregnancy
I just had to send DH out to source his own dinner as I just can't bear the thought of cooking right now. Doesn't make me a bad wife. I'm just pregnant!
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
TTC #1 4/2009 - DD 2/5/10
TTC #2 since October 2011
2IF issues
Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!
Baby Dust To All!!!
I asked if I could sleep in Friday because he was off. I woke up a little after 7 and got up to find someone's lunch on the floor and someone else's pills still on the table. He also has catbox duty, now.
We haven't had sex SINCE creating this little turtle. And he still tells me how much he appreciates me.
We are older and this is a high risk pregnancy, so he doesn't mind doing the bending and stopping I shouldn't do. And I know he really wants to bump uglies, but we just went to the ER for bleeding. I have a cyst which may be the cause, but as soon as he saw the blip and beating heart, he forgot about everything else.
You and your husband are in this together, don't forget that. You each need to be there for the other. I'm sure, if your husband is like most men and bed ridden with sniffles, you take over without skipping a beat,
I've also been slacking on housework and he has willingly picked up the slack, which rocks.
Chin up. You're growing a human, you're doing more than enough work.
I am happy to read that I'm not the only one who isn't in the mood. I am just so tired all. the. time. that I can't figure out how to get all sexy for him...not to mention the bloating is so not attractive at the moment! I keep hoping that I'll get my drive back, and maybe it will, maybe it won't, but I am just over the moon to be experiencing this feeling since it's our first and we've done 2 rounds of IVF to get here!!
Hang in there and keep reminding yourself that you're growing a baby, that's sexy enough! :-)
TTC 8/1/11 Met with RE: 9/7/12; starting with BW on next CD3 and HSG between CD7-11. Husband has SA 9/21/12; meth with RE 10/11-diagnosed with Male fertility issues 1% chance of getting pregnant naturally, only IVF. Insurance doesn't cover IVF, took a break from trying until we could save the money.
June 19-Begin injections for IVF Round 1- only 1 egg dropped, fertilized but did not attach
August 8-Begin IVF round 2, more aggressive, 10 egges, all 10 fertilized, implanted 1, froze 4
September 14-got the call that we are expecting!!!
We've had an easy pregnancy (knock on wood). I've been waiting for the crazy dog in heat stuff to come back, but so far nothing. Sex a couple times a week is it. And my love just keeps smiling and being wonderful. We talk about it, and we both say that this is a new chapter for us.
Or you could keep beating yourself up, but that's not going to do anyone any good. So breathe. Enjoy being pregnant. And keep telling him how much you appreciate the things he does do.
Haha I imagine its not his favorite situation but he's closer to my parents than he is to his own, and he likes that they are here to help me when he's gone. Now, I'm 17 weeks and feeling much better so functioning is easier but my sex drive hasn't really returned.. I'm just not one of those people!
Overall, the bottom line is that most of us go through similar problems and its only temporary! Your husband sounds sweet and understanding so don't worry too much. I'm sure he understands more than you think. I will admit I don't feel like the best wife ever but it's not going to last forever :-)
Jeez.. I write novels on here...
2nd pregnancy -TWINS lost DD1 twin at 8 weeks 6 days DD1 born 6 weeks early
3rd pregnancy- TWINS AGAIN lost both babies at 9 week appt
4th pregnancy- singleton- born at 38 weeks 1 day with the help of weekly 17P injections
5th pregnancy- CP in June
6th pregnancy It's a BOY