16 weeks with twins and stressed :/

s.jean-baptiste

Hi all, I am 16 weeks and 5 days pregnant with twins. My husband and I are very happy to be first time parents. I am currently employed full time and I am wondering if I should give my 30day notice sooner than we had planned. I have already missed 3 1/2 weeks of work due to morning sickness, migraines, fatigue (no energy) and back pain. Prior to pregnancy I had back problems and my migraines stem from this. I have a desk job and work 8 hours everyday which aggravates my back issue more, they do not provide maternity leave and I was told that they can't guarantee a job for me if I take a leave of absence after pregnancy. I am a hard worker and not the type that likes to be idle, prior to pregnancy I always got my work done and always on time. My supervisors and boss seem skeptical when I go in at least get some work done, but need to leave early because of feeling sick and exhausted. My supervisor even told me he thinks I am being overly sensitive. A MAN who has not gone through this is telling me I am overly sensitive!! REALLY!!!! When he said this I was so sick I didn't even care. When they ask how are you feeling and I tell them, It doesn't feel sincere, it feels more like "What's wrong now?!" My husband thinks I should keep the job until they say otherwise, but I feel like that's not a good way to go, I'd rather give them notice that way I leave with some type of integrity. I wanted to hold out until 30 weeks, but how I have been feeling lately I don't know how long I can hold out, I know I will feel worse as the pregnancy progresses. Please help! Shaylene Jean Baptiste

WilP

I would hold on too. I worked at a desk Job till the day before my first daughter was born. It's hard but just do ur beat. If they do fire u.. U can probably prove it was unfounded and collect unemployment. U won't feel any better by sitting at home and its not good for ur body or ur babies to be reclined or laying around all day unless ur currently At risk for pre term labor . And if ur planning to work in ur house all day thats even worse for ur multiples because they are higher risk and may end up putting u into ptl. Good luck with ur decision!

carrotcake06

Ultimately, it's up to you. Every pg is different and while multiple pregnancies are hard, everyone "deals with it" differently. I have a desk job and work primarily with single guys who don't have kids. No one wanted to hear about my aches and pains bc they couldn't relate and (v mature I know), the whole thing weirded them out. So I didnt really talk about except to make light of how freaking enormous I was getting.

My water broke at work at 34w, so Im no help on the "should you quit" front. I chose to keep working until the last possible moment bc I knew I was going back and wanted to maximize my leave.

How many employees does your company have? If more than 50, you can qualify for FMLA and your job is guaranteed (assuming of course that you want to keep it).

10-4LilBuddy

I would hang in there. Your symptoms will change from day to day. You may find that you will turn a corner soon. If they fire you, I would wonder about the legality of firing a pregnant woman and you would be eligible for unemployment.

Hope

s.jean-baptiste

@carrotcake06 - There are 20 employees in the company, that is why they are not required to have maternity leave.

s.jean-baptiste

Thank you all for your advice and support, I will try to hold on as much as I can. My boss called and said they are taking me off the schedule but need a work note for each day I miss and my doctor is giving me a hard time. I have taken anti-nausea pills when I can keep it down but the pill also makes my migraines worse.

CaliCarly77

I do employment law (I represent employers/companies who are sued for discrimination/wrongful termination and wage and hour) and am a little concerned about your story  -  if you feel like they are "pushing" you out the door (also known as "constructive termination") you may have a claim for discrimination, if your state has laws that protect pregnant women (most do). 

If they are not allowing you to use your sick time, make you feel bad for using your sick time, or harassing you when you do use your sick time, that is also a claim for discrimination. 

Almost all employers are required to hold your job open if you take maternity leave - they don't have to pay you (and state to state differs on whether you will qualify for disability payments), but usually (not all states, but most) as long as there are at least 5 employees, they MUST 1 - maintain your benefits while you are out; 2 - hold your job open for you to return to OR provide you with a similar job upon your return. 

In any state, where there are at least 50+ employees at a job (within 75 mile radius) then you are covered by federal law (FMLA) which provides 1 - maintain your benefits while you are out; 2 - hold your job open for you to return to OR provide you with a similar job upon your return. 

I hope that is helpful - I am disgusted by how they are treating you. If they were my client I would strongly advise otherwise as they are opening themselves up for a law suit!!