.......... :/

Katy12143

My BD hasnt taken care at our son at all and hes 7 months old.... i dont want BD to think he can just come as he pleases. i have a feeling when my son gets older and is not a baby anymore BD will want to see him more cuz hes not a baby and he doesnt have to really take care of him... i dont think thats fair at all he didnt take care of him when he was born what makes him think he can when he gets older. i dont think thats fair....any advice?

ktedmon

File for sole custody or for child abandonment then he can't come and go as he pleases and will have no say when he is older.

EarthandFire

Talk to a lawyer, consultations are usually free. In my state you can not file for abandonment unless you have a spouse who intends to adopt the child. Document, document, document. Blended families board talks about this a lot. If BD just doesn’t come around WHEN he decides he wants to be in DS’s life, you probably have two options. Just tell him no, and leave it at that. That leaves it in BD’s court to follow through with legal action to see DS. If you go this route, try to do so in a way that you can clearly explain why you feel it is not in DS’s best interest to start visitation with BD after BD has chosen not to be a part of his life or to bond with him as a baby. Basically BD is a complete stranger, has not been around as DS has grown and has no idea what DS’s needs are. BD may decide to take you to court to get visitation, he may decide it’s not worth it. On the other hand you could take him to court to establish soul custody HOWEVER when you do this, the court generally wants to set up regular visitation schedule for BD which you can not argue with. Yes BD can decline visits but down the road when he decides he wants visits, unless you go back to court, you can’t deny the court ordered visits. The downside of your current situation, assuming BD signs a paternity acknowledgement/birth certificate is BOTH of you likely have equal rights to DS and if he takes DS there is nothing requiring he return DS to you and until you get to court, there is no way for you to force BD to return DS. There are lots of factors involved.

rachaelT28

Documentation is saving my butt in my divorce case proving my ex is never making time for his sons. Document everything and go to court.