What are you called? — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

What are you called?

I searched for this post and found one from 2011, so I was looking to get the current bumpies views...

What do your LO (or future LOs!) call you and your partner?

Currently, B and I are going by Mama B and Mama C thanks to The L Word.  At first I didn't like it at all because all I could think about was where Mama A was!  It's growing on me now.  :)

Re: What are you called?

  • That is funny about Mama A. :)
    The plan is that Manada will be Mama and I will be Mommy and we will both be Mom. We will see how this works out and what the kid/s choose as they age.
    ****loss discussed*****

    We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.

    Our IUIs
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 

    ***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***

    FET #1 December 2014
    Intralipid infusion on Dec 10. Transfer of 1 day 3 nine-cell embryo into my uterus on Dec. 19. (acupuncture immediately before and after)
    BFP on Dec. 27; Beta 1 Jan 2 (14dp3dt): 665, Beta 2 Jan 4 (16dp3dt): 1859, Beta 3 Jan 6 (18dp3dt): 4449, Beta 4 Jan 10 (22dp3dt): 12,251.



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • edited September 2013

    I will be Mommy, C will be Mama and when the kids are older I'll be Mom and she'll be Ma.  If our kids' choices evolve to something else I'm totally cool with that.

    My mom said she wants to be called anything but "Grandmama" because that's what my brothers and I call my paternal grandmother with whom she doesn't have a great relationship.  She shouldn't have told me that, because I've been thinking of some devious pranks to pull in the future... ;)

    IUI 08/2013 - natural cycle, BFN
    IUI 10/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 11/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 03/2014 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 05/2014 - Femara + FSH, BFN
    IUI 06/2014 - FSH, BFP! DS born 02/2015

    TTC #2 (and #3)
    W IUI 08/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W IUI 10/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W diagnosed as low AMH
    Me: PCOS
    Myo-Inositol, NAC, prenatals
    IUI 03/2018 - Gonal F - BFN

    INVOcell IVF September 2018 - BFP!!! B/G Twins born 04/2019
  • Loading the player...
  • I'm Mummy or Mamma C, V is Momma or Mamma V
    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!


  • This was actually a QOTD in the TTC and Pregnancy Check In in the last couple of months, but I would be hard pressed to go back and find it. :)

    I'm not quite sure what we'll be called.  We sometimes say Momma L and Momma Z, but I don't think we'll have our kiddo call us that.  Or, maybe we will.  Who knows?  I'm sure one or both of us will go by Mommy when little one is really young, but I like Momma too.  I'm not sure if Momma is just a Southern thing, but I still call my mom by Momma most of the time. :)

    2Mamaz had a funny idea a while back of using Mamacita for her wife (not sure if she was totally serious, though), and I mentioned it to Z since she is Latina.  She laughed, but I don't think she wants to go by it.  I think it's kinda cute, though. :)  

    This is off the topic thread, but I asked Z how we would celebrate mother's day - like who would pamper who?  She had a great idea of celebrating me on American Mother's Day and celebrating her on Mexican Mother's day.  That problem is solved for us! ;)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • DW wants to be called Mom and I will be called Momma or Mommy. :)

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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  • Considering my gender identity being masculine, this is something BW and I have discussed. I like dad, but I'm not "out" with my transgenderism, so dad seems odd. We have thought about gender neutral salutations, but we haven't found anything that fits. I'm open to suggestions!!!!!!!
  • @trisholiosboi - how about a meaningful nickname?  For example, in a previous thread doodah indicated that he would be called "doodah."  Also, this isn't related to gender identify, but my friend became "Mamy" to her wife's biological daughter (she came into the daughter's life when the daughter was 4 or 5).  It's a cross between Mom and her name, Amy.  Something to chew on. :)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm mobile bumping, so I hope this posts correctly.
    We have talked alot about what our children will call us. As my dw already posted, she would prefer a masculine name, but it would be confusing. We thought about 'borrowing' ;) doodah, also use 'maddy' which is a combination of mom and daddy. Or even Gege (Gigi) because her name is Gayle. I love hearing other people's ideas too :)
    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
                   
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K



    trisholiosboi
  • I agree that I want something meaningful. I also don't want something that sounds like our child is calling me by my name. I think it will come naturally, when we have/see our beautiful bundle of joy!
    trisholio
  • I agree - I think it will come naturally when the little one is here. :)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    trisholiosboi
  • Someone once mentioned in some group that I was in that they sometimes used Mapa as a name to honour their gender queer self.

    I have also heard of just using Da... Not really "dad" but still a familiar term.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

    image

    [Deleted User]
  • C and I were just discussing this yesterday. We are probably going to go with Mommy and Momma. Friends of ours do the same.

    Me: 30  DW (aka C): 29

    Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12

    ***CP mentioned***

    We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm.  8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy.  We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET.  I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013. 

    11/14/14 -  Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good. 

    12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2

    12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)

    1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2

     ****All Welcome!****

    We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.

    image   

  • We figure we will probably go with Mum/Mom as I'm British and my partner is Canadian. She is also third-gen Japanese-Canadian, so we are considering Japanese names as well (Kachan or Mama). 

    Lesbian couple from SW Ontario, Canada | Me: 29 + 1 DF: 44 | Together 3.5 yrs, getting married in 2015 | TTC since Jun 2013

    My Dx: PCOS, blocked fallopian tube(s), mild endometriosis & uterine septum (both removed during surgery Oct 11/13)

     

    Jun 24/13: referral to Fertility Clinic ordered by gyne

    Aug 15/13: initial consult with FS at Victoria Hospital Fertility Clinic, BW & HSG ordered 

    Aug 20/13: HSG shows one tube completely blocked, other tube slow to fill

    Sep 18/13: FU w/FS re: HSG & BW. BW normal, laser laparoscopy & hysteroscopy ordered

    Oct 11/13: Hysteroscopy, laser laparoscopy, & HSG determined I actually have a uterine septum and mild endometriosis, and that my tubes were never blocked! Septum and endo removed with laser during surgery. Post-op in 6 wks.

    Nov 26/13: Post-op - fully healed with no complications; confirmed tubes are clear and septum and endo removed. Referred to Donor Insemination program.

  • With Jellybean we were going to just wait until she was old enough to decide what to call us but it got confusing.  We ended up with Mommy for me (she sometimes calls me Mom now) and Mama for S.  It's pretty cute because she'll correct other people if they use the wrong term.

    J (33), DP S (33) together 15 years

    Our TTC/Pregnancy history:

    S has no know fertility issues and no desire to carry

    I have PCOS, treatment with metformin, clomid, trigger shot, and IUI with frozen donor sperm

    Pregnancy #1 Ruptured ectopic at 6w2d (2nd IUI, 3rd round of clomid)

    Pregnancy #2 Miscarriage at 18w0d due to Turner Syndrome (shocked by BFP on 1st IUI).  Our little Emma will always be in our hearts.

    Pregnancy #3 Amazing girl born at 38w0d (4th IUI, after many, many months off due to ovarian cysts). Our Jellybean is now 6 years old!

    Now cautiously expecting another addition (3rd IUI).

    newmompeanut[Deleted User]wishiwaspreggo
  • I am Mommy, and she is Mama. Then one day, I graduated to "Mom."

    LO is in Kindergarten, now. He is amazing!
  • trisholiosboi I like Doodah, that is adorable, and there is Mapa, which my friends in San Diego was their nickname. I would also research other languages, even ancient ones to find the "just right" name that feels best.

  • ArrianaBEArrianaBE member
    First Comment
    edited October 2013
  • Totally crashing the post but at this point do you know where you hope to eventually be with your gender? I would think if you hope to transition then a gender neutral name might be best since you might not want the constant reminder in the name of where you were when the baby is born. And then again you might know this is not an issue for you or that you never want to fully transition so it is a moot point. I would just try to come up with a name that feels comfortable now but will also be good in the future. Good luck.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • Also, think about how the name you will choose will sound when your kid is 14y. Will your son/daughter want to say to his friends, "My *whatever name you choose* is picking me up from soccer?" What may sound cute and sweet coming out of a 2y old is different than what your teen will want to call across a busy store! :)

    We are already running into this. We were Mom and Mommy and our now 7y olds rarely call me Mommy and so now we are both Mom. :)
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    wishiwaspreggo
  • @2brides - I'm not even pregnant yet and I'm always thinking about what my future kid will be like as a child, teen, and adult.  C and I are very intentional in our decisions based on the consideration that our baby will become a child, then a teen, then an adult.  Especially with names.  Growing up with a horrible last name (that EVERYONE mis-pronounces as "booger") I was pretty adamant that we take C's last name (for my sake and our children's!).  And when thinking about first names, my thought is always "How will this name look on the top of a resume when my child is trying to find his/her first job out of college?"

    IUI 08/2013 - natural cycle, BFN
    IUI 10/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 11/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 03/2014 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 05/2014 - Femara + FSH, BFN
    IUI 06/2014 - FSH, BFP! DS born 02/2015

    TTC #2 (and #3)
    W IUI 08/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W IUI 10/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W diagnosed as low AMH
    Me: PCOS
    Myo-Inositol, NAC, prenatals
    IUI 03/2018 - Gonal F - BFN

    INVOcell IVF September 2018 - BFP!!! B/G Twins born 04/2019
  • Late to this party...I keep forgetting my damn log in and pw. 

    So we always thought we would do the Momma A/Momma B thing, but it go super confusing for us. We never said the letters so it was hard to tell if we were talking about ourselves or the other one. LIke "momma should put your socks on" does that mean I am going to, or I think A should. 

    Anyhoo- we are trying Momma and Mommy, but it is still a hot mess. We both sort of use them both interchangeably. I assume he will figure out what to call us some day, just like I assume he will eventually roll over. I do totally cringe when adults call their moms "Mommy" though. 
  • I still refer to my mother as "Mummy." Always have, and I'm pretty convinced she liked it. I called her Mum once and she got a hurt look on her face; this was when I was about 14. She passed on when I was 19, but like I said... ten years later she's still Mummy when I talk about her. :)

    Lesbian couple from SW Ontario, Canada | Me: 29 + 1 DF: 44 | Together 3.5 yrs, getting married in 2015 | TTC since Jun 2013

    My Dx: PCOS, blocked fallopian tube(s), mild endometriosis & uterine septum (both removed during surgery Oct 11/13)

     

    Jun 24/13: referral to Fertility Clinic ordered by gyne

    Aug 15/13: initial consult with FS at Victoria Hospital Fertility Clinic, BW & HSG ordered 

    Aug 20/13: HSG shows one tube completely blocked, other tube slow to fill

    Sep 18/13: FU w/FS re: HSG & BW. BW normal, laser laparoscopy & hysteroscopy ordered

    Oct 11/13: Hysteroscopy, laser laparoscopy, & HSG determined I actually have a uterine septum and mild endometriosis, and that my tubes were never blocked! Septum and endo removed with laser during surgery. Post-op in 6 wks.

    Nov 26/13: Post-op - fully healed with no complications; confirmed tubes are clear and septum and endo removed. Referred to Donor Insemination program.

  • i will be called mom and my partner is going to be called mere (pronounced mi ere). It is the cajun word for mom. Since she is from a cajun family we wanted something that was significant to her heritage but also wanted something different.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • So far we have both been "mama/momma", throwing mommy into the mix every once in awhile.  At the beginning we were going to do "Mama (insert name)" but neither of us want our kids to call us by our names.  We're banking on the decision to be made for us, haha.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    BabyFetus Ticker
  • When the boys were born we were loosely Mom/Mommy, but kind of figured that they would come up with their own names for us. Around 2y they started calling DP "Other Mommy" all of the time. LOL. She wasn't very fond of this and we started to stick to Mom/Mommy. Of course, now at 7y they are calling both of us Mom 75% of the time. :)
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
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