New daycare issues

mamabird8

DS was at a daycare from when he was 6 weeks old until two weeks ago (so around 3 years). She decided she no longer wanted to do daycare, which broke my heart because we were so happy there and it's the only thing DS has ever known. We found another small home daycare (4 other kids there) in our little down that we thought would be the best fit. I know other people who know there and know people that do/have taken their kids there. Last week was DS's first week there. Monday - Wednesday was a little rough, but overall did really well with this life-changing transition he is going through. Then Thursday/Friday he was at home with me, because he could a stomach flu that's been going around. Monday morning came and when it was time to drop him off, he would not let me leave him there. We finally had to get him content doing something and I left when he wasn't paying attention. He cried when I got back that afternoon, because he said he missed me so much all day. Tuesday morning, he refused to get out of the car because he didn't want to go in. Then he clung to me to tight and screamed that he didn't want me to leave. She finally had to pull him off of me and I had to leave with him screaming and crying. I cried the whole way to work. I got there in the evening and he ran to me right away, started tearing up and said he missed me all day. This morning, he actually cried the whole way to her house (5 minute drive). Cried in the car and begged me to take him to work with me. He cried and held onto me inside her house and said he wanted to go with me. I had to leave with him screaming and crying again.

Is this normal? How do I know the difference between him missing me while he adjusts to this new daycare VS him actually being in a bad daycare that I need to remove him from? When I pick him up at night, he seems ok and tells me what he did throughout the day. I just don't know what to do.

mamabird8

I think it is just when I leave. I usually text her when I get to work and she says he stops crying shortly after I leave. It all just makes me concerned when I get there and he tears up because he's so excited to see me and to go home. I don't know if it's just because he missed me so much (never did that at his old daycare, but he was very comfortable there) or because the daycare provider is not as nice to him as she seems when I am there.

mamabird8

Thank you EXP_626. That helps. It sounds like your DS does the same exact thing we are going through.

lildevil968

This is normal. DS does this everytime he moves up to a different room, after a long weekend, and after we get back from vacation. It lasts about 2 wks, and then he is fine after that.

RichardSlap

Dd did this when she started preschool. It broke my heart, but she got over it quicker than I did. Ds still sometimes bursts into tears at pickup. I think it's just a little overwhelming emotionally to get mom back after a long day.

mamabird8

Mamasighs said:

mamabird8 said:

I think it is just when I leave. I usually text her when I get to work and she says he stops crying shortly after I leave. It all just makes me concerned when I get there and he tears up because he's so excited to see me and to go home. I don't know if it's just because he missed me so much (never did that at his old daycare, but he was very comfortable there) or because the daycare provider is not as nice to him as she seems when I am there.

You are also pregnant, correct?  This can make any change/transition harder.  I just went through this last year.  I would give it another week and see how he's doing.

Yes, I am due in 6 weeks. Which I wish my due date was a little further out, so DS would have a little more time to adjust with everything else going on.

mamabird8

Thank you so much everyone. All the responses have made me feel much better. It still breaks my heart each morning and I'm thinking about him all day, but at least there is hope for an end to him getting so upset being there.