I'm 21 and already have a 2 year old son. And I really want to try for a little girl. But I'm afraid my parents and grandparents will be very upset. My first pregnancy was unplanned and the entire family was furious. My boyfriend Justin was still in school and didn't show much interest. I was still living with my parents and they had to do everything because Justin's family wouldn't help at all. So it was totally understandable then. But now we're out on our own and have been for right at a year. Justin has a good job and he wants another baby too. But I'm afraid the rest of the family will go nuts. I rely on my mom greatly and couldn't make it without her. I don't want her mad at me. And my grandparents own the house we're in and could kick us out if they wanted too. If that happened we would be totally screwed. If I go through with it, I want to conceive in December because it will be a September baby. So I have roughly 2 months to work on everybody. I've done all kinds of little predictor tests and looked at the Chinese calendar thing and they ALL said with my age and would be conception date that it would be a girl. Of course I would be just as happy with a little boy, I would just like a girl since I already have a boy. The entire family loved Caden the minute they saw him and spoil him rotten. I know they would be the same way eventually with another one but it would be a while.The main point is, I really want to get pregnant and we have the means to take care of one this time. But I don't want to lose the support of my family or my house. So how should I go about telling them I want to try again? Or should I just do it and tell everybody after it's done? I would really rather have everyone on board from the start.
P.S. I am well aware that those tests are just for fun and no guarantee of either gender and that God will give me whatever I'm meant to have. But it doesn't hurt to try.
P.P.S. Does anyone think it would make a difference if me and Justin got married before conceiving?
Re: How do I get my family on board with my decision to have another baby?
You said you rely on your mother. Does she provide child care for you for free? A single infant is very different than an infant and a toddler. Are you paying your grandparents rent or are they losing income they could receive from another renter to allow you to live their for free. If you're paying rent, child care, utilities, not receiving any aid from your family you could not live without and could support another child then I see no reason your family would object to your conceiving.
If you are receiving aid from them you could not live without and can only consider conceiving under their good graces I would personally consider waiting. You could always bring up the topic and get their input, they may be supportive and willing to provide the aid to help you bring another LO into your family but if doing so would require their assistance I would not even consider it without their blessing.
I don't think it has anything to do with the two of you getting married, I think it has to do with your ability to live independently of them. If losing there assistance leaves you in a position where the two of you could not provide for your current family members its not fair to ask them to do more because you want another. If they volunteer that's one thing but to expect it I feel is wrong.