Luck sleep training without crying?

kellyrn9956

Okay, I have a parenting question. J is 6 months old now. Here's some back story. I bought a crib. I had every intention of him sleeping in it. I do not subscribe to a true attachment parenting style. Meaning that bedsharing was never even on my radar. Ever. I wanted to do 6 months in his bassinet and then transition to crib. In the beginning, he had a ridiculous startle reflex. Back sleeping in the bassinet was a nightmare. Due to crazy sleep deprivation combined with PPD, I took the easy way out and began bedsharing. And actually just accepted it for awhile. We slept great. Then the 4 month wakeful hit. Yikes. Then he started to crawl. I tried to transition to the bassinet but he was too mobile for it. S back to bedsharing. It is now no longer safe because of the height of my bed and his mobility. So the crib is our only option. I don't reAkky want to bedshare anymore anyway so I'm not going to take the bed frame and box spring off. I started the Ferber method 2 days ago. My kid is NOT a CIO kinda kid. He never has been. He will cry in his car seat fir an entire hour long trip ifbwe dont soothe him somehow. 4 hours last night of screaming with every 10 minute intervention. Needless to say, it was exhausting for all. My husband and I don't fully agree on the use if Ferber. He feels last night was cruel. Not sure i fully agree, but I'm not going to force a parenting technique on him if he's not comfortable. So that leaves us at soothing him to sleep by holding and rocking him and placing him in the crib asleep, at least to start. Has anyone had success with doing this this way? I feel like we're between a rock and a hard place here, and I'd love some success stories (and some sleep....).

kellyrn9956

Brandi Bee said:

I tried it at six mos-not for me. I ended up pushing through until she was one. I revisited sleep training again and it worked great with very little crying. I know pedis say 6 mos is fine- I personally don't agree with that.

Brandi Bee said:

I tried it at six mos-not for me. I ended up pushing through until she was one. I revisited sleep training again and it worked great with very little crying. I know pedis say 6 mos is fine- I personally don't agree with that.

Thank you for your response! My pedi has been pressuring me to do this since I told him I was bedsharing.

flyingsaucer

We read the book the Sleep Easy Solution and it helped with both kids. It is a CIO method. It has not worked for us to rock kids to sleep because then the rely on that. But Sleep Easy gives you ideas to use along with CIO (how to wean off night feelings, etc). I always found that checking in every 10 mins made my kids worse. Sometimes it was better for us just to let them soothe themselves. While this worked for us, I do know that there are others that have used non CIO methods that have worked. The Sleep Lady and No Cry Sleep Solution have been popular books among friends. Whatever you do, come up with a plan and try to stick with it for a week. The last thing you want to do is try different methods and have the kiddo back and forth every night. GL

shannond354

I Ferberized my youngest, but for my oldest I read the No Cry Sleep Solution and it worked really well for him. If you're not comfortable with CIO this might be option. GL!

kellyrn9956

LexiLupin said:

No advice but you have all my sorries. We've been having a ridiculous time with the startle reflex and the swaddle- DS slept fine (for a newborn) without it from one to eight weeks or so and now has the crazy startle issue at 4.5 months still. I don't know what we're going to do when he rolls back to front as the only time he'll sleep decently unswaddled is next to me. I'm worried that we'll be stuck where you are once he gets to be mobile.

No!!!!! It's a sucky place to be we couldn't even swaddle. He broke swaddle even when he was teeny. My two week old got out of a SwaddleMe. He's nuts.

kellyrn9956

kellyrn9956 said:

Okay, I have a parenting question. J is 6 months old now. Here's some back story. I bought a crib. I had every intention of him sleeping in it. I do not subscribe to a true attachment parenting style. Meaning that bedsharing was never even on my radar. Ever. I wanted to do 6 months in his bassinet and then transition to crib. In the beginning, he had a ridiculous startle reflex. Back sleeping in the bassinet was a nightmare. Due to crazy sleep deprivation combined with PPD, I took the easy way out and began bedsharing. And actually just accepted it for awhile. We slept great. Then the 4 month wakeful hit. Yikes. Then he started to crawl. I tried to transition to the bassinet but he was too mobile for it. S back to bedsharing. It is now no longer safe because of the height of my bed and his mobility. So the crib is our only option. I don't reAkky want to bedshare anymore anyway so I'm not going to take the bed frame and box spring off. I started the Ferber method 2 days ago. My kid is NOT a CIO kinda kid. He never has been. He will cry in his car seat fir an entire hour long trip ifbwe dont soothe him somehow. 4 hours last night of screaming with every 10 minute intervention. Needless to say, it was exhausting for all. My husband and I don't fully agree on the use if Ferber. He feels last night was cruel. Not sure i fully agree, but I'm not going to force a parenting technique on him if he's not comfortable. So that leaves us at soothing him to sleep by holding and rocking him and placing him in the crib asleep, at least to start. Has anyone had success with doing this this way? I feel like we're between a rock and a hard place here, and I'd love some success stories (and some sleep....).

Were you channeling your inner julieanne or something? 4 hours you let that go on?

6 months is the bare minimum. Not all will take to it right away. Some never will. There is nothing wrong with rocking your 6 month old to sleep. And you want to put them down drowsy, not sound asleep if you want them to learn to self soothe.

I know, I know. The mama guilt is strong. It's a mistake that will not be repeated. That being said, I really did feel like I was following the method. The book doesn't really specify when enough is enough. I should have said fuck the book and listened to mommy instinct when he and I were both sobbing at 3am. And hubby has reiterated that many times today

kmm2150

Similar to many others, DD was a decent sleeper but nursed to sleep and the older she got the longer it took. We did Ferber at about 9 months and I think that was a good age- cried about 30 minutes the first night with another 30 off and on fussing, less the next night, the third night she stopped before I made it downstairs and the next no tears at all. She noes goes to bed like she's getting paid for it and sleeps 11-11.5 hours. We have a rough patch here and there with colds or teething, etc of course. I would take a break, do what you have to do for now and try again in a few months - I think if they are crying for multiple hours, it's not working and they aren't ready.

The other thing that you can start now if you already haven't is a very regular bedtime routine - we had that in place for months before we sleep trained and I really think that helped.

kellyrn9956

Brandi Bee said:

A good routine is necessary. And when I decided to just keep bedsharing, I brought items of hers to bed with us every night. A blanket, a book, a lovey. Then I put them with her later when we sleep trained. I used music too.

We are pretty religious about bedtime routine. We try to be home even on weekends to start routine. Evening routine is play 5 to 6, dinner (usually a veggie) with mom and dad at 6, play time, bath at 7, book, bottle, and down. Another reason to dislike bedsharing with a mobile baby...7:30 bed time for mom. Ugh.

kmm2150

kellyrn9956 said:

Brandi Bee said:

A good routine is necessary. And when I decided to just keep bedsharing, I brought items of hers to bed with us every night. A blanket, a book, a lovey. Then I put them with her later when we sleep trained. I used music too.

We are pretty religious about bedtime routine. We try to be home even on weekends to start routine. Evening routine is play 5 to 6, dinner (usually a veggie) with mom and dad at 6, play time, bath at 7, book, bottle, and down. Another reason to dislike bedsharing with a mobile baby...7:30 bed time for mom. Ugh.

On the routine, I think for us anyway it has really helped to have some very specific things that signal it's bedtime now - we read several books but always end with the same book (llama llama nighty night) and then turn out lights and sing the same song. A lovey is good too, like pp said.

kellyrn9956

Brandi Bee said:

Do you have a monitor? We put the monitor above our bed so after she fell asleep we could leave her.

My bed I just way too high. And I haven't found a bed rail that fits our deep mattress.

Spapeggy

kellyrn9956 said:

Brandi Bee said:

Do you have a monitor? We put the monitor above our bed so after she fell asleep we could leave her.

My bed I just way too high. And I haven't found a bed rail that fits our deep mattress.




Do a pool noodle under the fitted sheet

LoveActually4

Worst advice ever coming:

....totally not recommended by have you tried putting LO to sleep on their tummy? I bed shared and could not transition them. I was losing my mind trying to do CIO and then one night DH put DS2 down and he went to sleep in 5 mins. I begged him to tell me what he did and it was sleeping on his belly.

I know it's against SIDS recommendations but my kid will.not. sleep on his back. Ever. When he was bed sharing he always had warmth (from me) on his belly so we had to recreate that.

Good luck!

MintBerryCrunch

With DD1 we fed and cuddled her on our bed til she fell asleep, then put her in her crib. The same thing is happening with DD2 now. Neither has the personality to tolerate CIO. Unanswered cries turn into horrible, distressed hysterics for both of them. There's no way we could even attempt to CIO with DD2 even if we wanted to because her crying can wake her sister up from anywhere in our small house. It won't last forever so we just do what works for now.

kellyrn9956

mamaREB29 said:

Worst advice ever coming: ....totally not recommended by have you tried putting LO to sleep on their tummy? I bed shared and could not transition them. I was losing my mind trying to do CIO and then one night DH put DS2 down and he went to sleep in 5 mins. I begged him to tell me what he did and it was sleeping on his belly. I know it's against SIDS recommendations but my kid will.not. sleep on his back. Ever. When he was bed sharing he always had warmth (from me) on his belly so we had to recreate that. Good luck!

Oh yes. He's a belly sleeper. Now that he's crawling and rolls like a pro, I have no issue with belly sleeping!