How do you get housework done?

CatieM80

Since DD became mobile, I feel like I get no housework or yard work done. Between work, taking care of and playing with her and life in general, DH and I pretty much just get the basics done now-a-days. What we do get done is usually during naps or after she goes down for the night. It's really hard to get much of anything done while she's awake because she doesn't usually like playing by herself for more than a few minutes at a time. While I love spending time with DD more than anything, keeping up with house and yard work has always been important to me and I feel like it is really going by the wayside these days. I'm sure this is something that all parents face, but my grungy house is starting to drive me crazy! I know there's no magic solution to this (other than a housekeeper, lol), but how do you find time to get chores done?

bumpuser7698452

I'm in the same boat. Our house is trashed and I spend a majority if the morning cleaning while E is sleeping but it doesn't look like I've done anything.
What's sort of been working for us, is one of us will watch the baby for a few hours on the weekend and the other will do a weeks worth of cleaning. It takes a while, but it definitely takes both of us to get it done.

CatieM80

Yep, I used to do all the cleaning, laundry, gardening, etc. before DD was born. Now there is no way I could manage it alone!

Meggiemuggins

We've always divided up the chores, and I have to admit that I'm slacking in my department more than DH is.  A lot of his stuff is time sensitive outdoors stuff that needs to get done before the weather changes, and my stuff is indoors.  I manage OK with laundry, but I can't tell you the last time I Swiffered or cleaned the bathroom.

I wonder how much longer guests will accept the "Sorry for the mess, i just had a baby" excuse?

kleigh926

I get the vast majority of stuff done while she is napping. However, I don't work very much so that certainly helps. If I worked FT I have no idea when I'd do everything.
Once she becomes more mobile (she can't crawl yet so I can still put her on the floor and go to another room), when I have to get something done while she's awake, I'll probably either put her in the PNP with some toys or put her in her highchair, walker, or jumper in whatever room I'm in.

musicalmama5

I utilize the Johnny Jump Up frequently. My DS freaking loves that thing. I can do everything I need to do in the kitchen while he's in it. 

DH and I also have a little schedule worked out where he takes DS out of the house for 2 hours every Wednesday. Doesn't sound like much, but you'd be surprised how much you can get done in 2 hours when your husband and baby are not in the house!

kleigh926

I also agree with @PeanutR1. I am trying to get better at letting DD learn to self-entertain when I'm busy. It's hard because no mother wants to hear their baby whining/crying to be held or something, but when I know all her physical needs are met, I think she is old enough to start learning that she can't ALWAYS be entertained by someone else. It makes it easier when she's in the same room as me so I can at least talk to her and she can see that I'm there, even if I'm not holding her.

asoetenga

I wake up at 5am on Saturday and Sunday to deep clean. During the week I do the things to get by which in essence means Saturday and Sunday cleaning doesn't take too long. It's worked really well and I love how much I get done before everyone wakes up.

CatieM80

kleigh926 said:

I also agree with @PeanutR1. I am trying to get better at letting DD learn to self-entertain when I'm busy. It's hard because no mother wants to hear their baby whining/crying to be held or something, but when I know all her physical needs are met, I think she is old enough to start learning that she can't ALWAYS be entertained by someone else. It makes it easier when she's in the same room as me so I can at least talk to her and she can see that I'm there, even if I'm not holding her.

Yeah I definitely need to get better at helping her entertain herself more. She pretty much wants interaction constantly when she's awake. I think she's getting ready to cut a tooth, and she has been ultra clingy lately. It's wonderful getting all the extra snuggles, but it can be exhausting too! Any toy recommendations that help keep your LOs entertained?

MalRiggs

Lol...it doesn't (or I feel that way)

But really. I utilized the jolly jumper and pack n play. I agree with the whole self entertain theory. I also try and do as much as I can in the morning, DD is much happier in the am and is content longer.

CatieM80

asoetenga said:

I wake up at 5am on Saturday and Sunday to deep clean. During the week I do the things to get by which in essence means Saturday and Sunday cleaning doesn't take too long. It's worked really well and I love how much I get done before everyone wakes up.

asoetenga said:

I wake up at 5am on Saturday and Sunday to deep clean. During the week I do the things to get by which in essence means Saturday and Sunday cleaning doesn't take too long. It's worked really well and I love how much I get done before everyone wakes up.

Wow! That is impressive. I get up that time Monday-Friday, so there's no way it's happening on the weekends. But I bet you do get a lot done!

Poppy523

She just comes with me around the house. She sits in the highchair while I work in the kitchen and the pnp and exersaucer in other rooms. I find that if I dance while I work she is pretty much fully entertained. Not sure what that says about my dancing...

CatieM80

Thanks for the responses ladies! I am seeing a themes here with the baby coming along for the chores. I have tried this before without much luck, but I think it was because I was running over to her every time she made a peep. I'll try again today and give her more opportunity to entertain herself.

Funnurse81

I do most of my deep cleaning at night after I put her down. For things like dishes or cooking, I put her in the jumperoo or wear her on my back African style.

CatieM80

DC2London said:

Boba carrier.  Best $80 I ever, ever spent (I got mine used from a friend).

While I cook and wash dishes, he goes in the high chair and plays with tupperware.

I wear him while i dust and vacuum.

He "helps" me fold laundry (he plays peek-a-boo with a burp cloth while I fold, lol).

Anything germy where I can't just drop what I'm doing to pick him up if needed, I do while he is sleeping (e.g. cleaning bathrooms or floors).

We have a toddler swing on our patio for him and he swings while I work in the garden.

Seriously, though, a Boba.  Get one.  Or an Ergo.  I was originally going to get an Ergo but a wise BWing expert friend of mine suggested the Boba bc the baby is up a bit higher on the parent's back, so he or she can see more.  He loves it.

You won't believe this, but I have a Boba! I tried it when she was a few weeks old and could never get the hang of it. I watched some tutorials on YouTube, but it always still felt like she was going to fall out. I completely forgot about it until you said that. It might work better now that she can hold her head up and hold on. Do you wear him in the front, back or side with the Boba? If back, how do you get him in? I'd be so afraid I would drop her!

wifeofadam

Baby on my back in the Ergo.  I've been canning all weekend and she has basically lived back there.  Luckily, she's happy as a clam as long as she's touching me.

wifeofadam

PeanutR1 said:

Jumper and Pack n Play. As long as I know she's safe,she can whine as much as she wants while I get stuff done. I just talk to her while I do it. I guess it's easy in apartment living...I'm never far away. To me, it serves a dual purpose of teaching her to self entertain and that mommy isn't always available RIGHT NOW. I'm going to do my damndest to make sure I don't raise a kid that thinks she's "special". I feel like our parents started that trend, and it's gotten us an entitled generation.

I know you mean well by this and I think it was just worded funnily, but I hope you ARE planning to raise a child that feels she is special.  Every child IS special and should be made to feel that way.  Making a child feel special is very different than raising a child that thinks the world revolves around her or is overly needy.

kleigh926

+adamwife+ said:

PeanutR1 said:

Jumper and Pack n Play. As long as I know she's safe,she can whine as much as she wants while I get stuff done. I just talk to her while I do it. I guess it's easy in apartment living...I'm never far away. To me, it serves a dual purpose of teaching her to self entertain and that mommy isn't always available RIGHT NOW. I'm going to do my damndest to make sure I don't raise a kid that thinks she's "special". I feel like our parents started that trend, and it's gotten us an entitled generation.

I know you mean well by this and I think it was just worded funnily, but I hope you ARE planning to raise a child that feels she is special.  Every child IS special and should be made to feel that way.  Making a child feel special is very different than raising a child that thinks the world revolves around her or is overly needy.


***quoting isn't working correctly, this is where the division is***
I thought it was pretty clear that's what she meant since she put "special" in quotes and used the word entitled.

CatieM80

PeanutR1 said:

kleigh926 said:

PeanutR1 said:

Jumper and Pack n Play. As long as I know she's safe,she can whine as much as she wants while I get stuff done. I just talk to her while I do it. I guess it's easy in apartment living...I'm never far away. To me, it serves a dual purpose of teaching her to self entertain and that mommy isn't always available RIGHT NOW. I'm going to do my damndest to make sure I don't raise a kid that thinks she's "special". I feel like our parents started that trend, and it's gotten us an entitled generation.

I know you mean well by this and I think it was just worded funnily, but I hope you ARE planning to raise a child that feels she is special.  Every child IS special and should be made to feel that way.  Making a child feel special is very different than raising a child that thinks the world revolves around her or is overly needy.

***quoting isn't working correctly, this is where the division is*** I thought it was pretty clear that's what she meant since she put "special" in quotes and used the word entitled.

Yes, this. Of course she is special and will have certain traits that help her excel.....with hard work. That's what I am going to teach. Just being born does not make her exceptional or deserving of everything she wants. A's will be expected, B's will need an explanation, and C's are not acceptable. Please, Thank You, Excuse Me, and acknowledgement of adults are mandatory. 

Although I'm out of the workforce now, almost EVERY intern I had over the last 5 years of my career acted like they should have already been my manager. They were given everything they wanted (not NEEDED) and waited on hand and foot for their entire lives. 

 This will NOT be an "everyone gets a trophy" household. When I was in athletics in high school, the parents got a brochure about how to support their student athlete. The BEST line from it: "Don't tell your child that winning doesn't matter, because it does"

ETA: For example - yesterday, we went out to brunch in our very walkable, very kid friendly town.  We are walking in the restaurant and a couple with their toddler are behind us.  The toddle is so well behaved in the stroller and the parents say:

 "Johnny, what do you want for breakfast?"  

"Pancakes!"  

Look at menu..."Oh, well it looks like they don't have pancakes.  Let's go somewhere else"

There was no tantrum, no anger.  Just b/c they didn't have what he wanted, plans had to be changed. 

Uhhh, no.  That's what will not happen in my family.  Mom and Dad choose where we eat, especially if we are already at the front door. They have eggs and French Toast.  Johnny, you can have eggs or French Toast.  They pitch a fit?  OK, we go home and you get neither. Very simple.  

Another ETA (yes, i feel passionate about this).  Based on the definition of special, not every kid can be special! Not everyone can be better or greater than usual n(or average) just by existing.  Average is the middle.  In order to be a middle, there need to be people who are below average. And if you don't work hard, you will be below average.  I don't see anything wrong with that lesson.  So actually no, I guess I won't be telling her she's special.  I'll be telling her that she can BE special if she tries hard enough. 

spe·cial

ˈspeSHəl/

adjective

1. 1.

   better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.

Wow! That is crazy about the toddler in the restaurant. They're not doing that kid any favors. That did not happen in DH or my childhood and it won't be happening for DD either. I think she might already be starting to understand boundaries. For a while she thought it was really funny to pull hair and we would take it out of her hand and say "we don't pull hair." She has only tried it a couple times this last week. So either she has some understanding or she just got tired of pulling hair, lol. Hopefully I can apply this to helping her understand she doesn't need to be held or played with her every waking minute. So far, so good today! She played in the walker while I cleaned the kitchen. A small victory. :-)

wifeofadam

Yikes.  Definitions are getting thrown around now. 

I apologize for provoking this.  After rereading, I see the intent of your original statement.  But I think your clarification (or just the end of it) makes me uneasy.

I agree with a lot of what you said, although I am not a Tiger Mom by any means.....really not at all.  I am not raising my kids to be entitled either and I think we do our kids a disservice when we do. 

As far as your definition and defense, you chose one of four definitions available for a very complex word.  Special also means "designed or organized for a particular person, purpose, or occasion" or "belonging specifically to a particular person or place".  It's one thing to say to your child that they weren't born better than anyone else and that they need to work hard to be the best (if that's what they want to be).  But I would think hard about the language you use to teach that lesson.  Special can mean unique, individual, distinctive - to a child, who doesn't understand the complexities of language (if you start whipping out dictionary defintions), special means loved.  Every child IS special - they are designed for a specific purpose, given as a gift to specific parents, and raised to be a distinct individual.  That makes them special and I hope that you let your child know that.

But now we're just being silly and getting into semantics.  As I mentioned above, I just think it was worded funnily.  I think you mean "exceptional" or "entitled", not special.

Finally (because, well, I'm sort of passionate about this final point too), I can't believe we are having this conversation when we are discussing 6 and 7 month olds.  I hope everyone here realizes that you can't "spoil" an infant, nor do they truly understand boundaries.  They react to the word "no" based on the tone and volume when we say it, not because they understand what it means. 

You aren't creating a monster by tending to their needs when they are babies.  Actually, that's sort of how it works - babies can't tend to their own needs, so we're supposed to do it for them.  Learning to be self-sufficient is a great lesson for an older child.  Maybe I'm the minority, but I'm just not sure any of us really need to be worrying about teaching it to our babies right now...

kleigh926

+adamwife+ said:

You aren't creating a monster by tending to their needs when they are babies.  Actually, that's sort of how it works - babies can't tend to their own needs, so we're supposed to do it for them.  Learning to be self-sufficient is a great lesson for an older child.  Maybe I'm the minority, but I'm just not sure any of us really need to be worrying about teaching it to our babies right now...

Since I was one of the ones who talked about self-entertaining, I'll respond to this: I disagree that a 7-month old baby can't start learning to self-entertain or soothe for short periods of time, especially if you are within sight of him/her. If I know DD is fed, changed, and not in pain and she starts to fuss while I'm busy, I will let her fuss for a bit. Fuss does not mean screaming, and even if she's only whining or fussing I almost always soothe her in some way (give her a pacifier, talk to her, hold her for a minute and then put her back down, etc.). I don't recall anyone talking about self-sufficiency; that is much different than self-entertaining. Clearly infants can't care for themselves.

wifeofadam

You're right.  Some kids are independent and some have higher needs as babies.  Half of the posts here ARE about encouraging self sufficiency, but maybe from my responses to a lot of those posts you can tell that I sort of don't agree with that style of parenting for my own children.  Maybe it's the AP side of me.

I think that children can learn to soothe themselves to sleep if you let them CIO, but I'm not sure that it is because of any lesson you attempt to teach them (they aren't capable of understanding why you are leaving them alone to cry).  I feel like the reason they learn to give up and just go to sleep without putting up a fight is because they have simply replaced habits.  But that "lesson" of learning to sleep is only really relevant to sleep.  It's replacing a habit, not molding the character of a child.  I don't feel like the lesson learned is really applicable to other areas of life (and I feel the same way about what people try to say about the negative lessons that could be learned from CIO - abandonment - I don't feel like a child learns that from CIO any more than they would learn true self-sufficiency from it).

I guess my point to all of that rambling is that I think what people think is self-sufficiency is really just behavior modification.  The true learning of the character trait of self-sufficiency doesn't begin until a child is much older, in my opinion.  I just don't believe a baby, or even a toddler, is able to grasp such a difficult concept, especially when deep in their heart they know that they are in no way self-sufficient at all.  They NEED their parents for basic survival.

And I hope you don't take this little debate as attacking or anything.  I think it's an interesting topic to discuss and that's the only reason I brought it up.  I think that our opinions on these topics are often reflected in our parenting styles and as we can all see from this board, every mom does things differently and feels comfortable with different things.  I don't think anyone is right or wrong when it comes to these things with our tiny babies (but when it comes to the older child in the restaurant or something like that, I guess it's a different story).  I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you in my OP.

wifeofadam

PeanutR1 said:

Oh, I don't at all, I think it's a very interesting topic. I also think kleigh made a great distinction between self sufficiency and self entertainment. Of COURSE I don't expect baby to survive without me or expect her to "muscle through" her hunger or anything crazy like that. I'm just trying to instill the habit of not expecting me to appear in a split second at every whine. My biggest fear - having kids like my DH's boss. Get this: NO JOKE, on holidays from school, he always has to leave early b/c "my wife doesn't know what to do with the kids all day". Here's the kicker - the kids are 13 and 15.  Seriously. They apparently still need to be entertained. If I went to my parents looking to be entertained at 13, they would have thrown a book at me and pointed me to a chair. Or told me to clean my room. That was a common response to "I'm bored".

 I get that.  I actually have very self-sufficient older children, sometimes too self-sufficient for my own tastes.  I've never tolerated "I'm bored" and have had the same response your parents had to it - I'm hoping that still works in a few years at the height of that behavior.

I think part of my reasoning for being so hesitant to do any sort of behavior modification for my last two babies was because I realized how quickly they actually do self-entertain/become self-sufficient.  I guess I want to cling to these moments where they are little and they need me and I get to just sit and entertain them or hold them for a nap, because I know within a few years they will be so busy that they won't want to sit still and snuggle me.  The thing that makes me feel better is knowing that DD1, for example, lived on my back for the first year and a half of her life.  She literally napped back there twice a day and spent a lot of her time there while I tended to the boys.  If I put her down, she would whine and it would irritate me, so it was just easier to let her hang out where she was happy.  She also slept next to me until I got pregnant with DD2, because it's the only place she wanted to sleep.  When I got pregnant again all of that had to change, and it did, and she is now one of the most independent toddlers I've ever seen.  I guess that's my anecdotal evidence that you even the most "spoiled" babies can turn out to be independent toddlers.  There's plenty of time for the independence, for now, just enjoy the baby.

Thank you for the discussion!  I must have jinxed myself, because as soon as I typed that up about DD1 she woke up from her nap and is now wanting me to give her some attention. 

Poppy523

I was hoping DC would respond as to how she gets Rhys up on her back.  I too am wondering how to get my LO on my back without dropping her.  I have an Ergo.

CatieM80

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and thoughts. I didn't mean to spark a debate with the comment about learning boundaries this early. That was kind of half joking, half wishful thinking. But I have had a lot of luck bringing her around with me while I do chores today, and she's done great playing with her toys while I'm nearby and talking or singing to her. We have taken some play and eat breaks and I think the frequent changes in scenery help her stay content as well. It seems like such common sense now, doing chores "together" but I feel like this is a breakthrough! Haha!

kleigh926

You know what I realized as I finished reading all these replies? That I agree with everyone! Haha. I think everyone made good points and I love that we can have friendly discussions like this

wifeofadam

Sagen said:

Bah I got sucked back into this thread, but that is the benefit of having kids old enough to play with our LO while you type on the internet instead of doing what you should Now I am going to disagree with you. I don't think learning to play alone would be not in the AP parenting model depending on how you do it (I am not any type of parent just to clarify) When he is fussy I pick him up, but I give him the chance to try to play alone with out me interacting all the time or being held. I do think it is something you can learn at a young age. I don't think it is a giant chunk of time, but a baby can play alone, and should. Perhaps you are not talking about anything I said so I am rebutting with out cause. I am not sure since I am in the play alone is good camp. 

ITA that play alone is good.  I always put DD down first to see if she will play.  She will usually last about 15-20 minutes and then once she starts fussing I know that the only way I can continue to do what I'm doing is to put her on my back and get on with it.  I definitely agree that babies need the opportunity to learn and play on their own.

Also, having the older kids is great.  I just sat down to nurse and got sucked into this thread again too.  I'll probably end up sitting here "nursing" for too long, but thank goodness the older ones can entertain

wifeofadam

jessicalgilmore said:

I was hoping DC would respond as to how she gets Rhys up on her back.  I too am wondering how to get my LO on my back without dropping her.  I have an Ergo.

I'm totally butting in, but I can help you.  I have an Ergo too.  Here's how I do it -

I snap it at my waist and put her legs around my waist just as I would to carry her in the front.  Instead of putting the straps around my arms I grab the strap on my right weith my left hand and the strap on my left with the right hand (right arm on top).  Then I put my right arm up over my head (and around kind of like a lasso motion) and nudge the baby with my left elbow to scoot her around to my back.  Eventually she gets far enough where I can bring the strap in my right hand all the way around and put my right arm into the loop.  I sort of shimmy her into place then.  

Practice over a bed at first.  The trickiest part is the whole "which hand goes over which" thing.  Once you get the hang of it you can do it all in one motion really easily.  Good luck!

(My word of warning with the Ergo on your back is that the waist strap will end up hitting you right in the middle of your tummy.  If you have some leftover mommy belly like me, it's not very flattering.  I always try to pull my shirt out and over the strap to hide it )

Poppy523

Thank you adamwife and DC!! Off we go to practicwe

wifeofadam

PeanutR1 said:

Ok, silly question for the back wearing....how do you avoid hair pulling?!

I wear headcoverings most of the time.  Otherwise it's up in a bun.  That's why I like the Ergo with the baby lower on my  back - she can't reach my hair if it is up.  If she were up higher on my back, I have a feeling we'd be fighting over the hair quite often.

CatieM80

jessicalgilmore said:

Thank you adamwife and DC!! Off we go to practicwe

Same here! Thank you both!

pnwlover

My baby has never pulled my hair in the ergo but she tried to chew on it hahah