Separation anxiety

bliss611

Hi ladies,
Just wondering what AP take would be on this. I went back to work when DS was 4 months old and DH and a sitter took care of him (different days). When he was about 17 months, we ended up switching him to daycare (financial issues) and it was SO AWFUL I quit my job and became a SAHM. It's been 2 years and we've struggled with sep anxiety ever since but he's made progress.

He started nursery school this week - 3 hours a day, 3 days/week. He is hysterical. But, I really feel like he is old enough and it will be a good experience for him so I'm not fazed by it as much as I was when he 17 months. But he's being so different at home: sullen, more introverted and switching between wanting to be alone and then clinging to me. I want to connect a bit more and make him feel better. Not sure how...

I'd probably get laughed at on the other boards with this
TIA!!

ReeceFamily

I don't have any advice but I remember seeing a similar post awhile ago. Maybe do a search. Also, I've seen the book " the emotional life of the toddler" recommended on this board, it's in my Kindle queue right now. Maybe it would have some insight as to why he is feeling so insecure and ways to build him back up and reassure him. Again, I don't really have any great advice, but didn't want your post to go unanswered !!

bliss611

thank you! I'll look for the book and search the board.

ncbelle

Have you talked to him about it?  Is there a possibility that you go with him for a few days to help ease the transition?  How big is the program? If it's large, would going with a smaller in home setting be a possibility?

bliss611

We started it a day late so we're a bit behind in the transition phase they have. But I did spend his first day (half day - hour & half) with him inn the room the entire time. The second day, I spent about 45 minutes there with him and then left him for the remaining two hours. I don't want to stay too much because I don't want him thinking it's a mommy & me - we've done lots of those. Today is just the third day for him and I plan to stay for a little while to get him settled in before leaving.

As for talking to him about it - he hasn't really been responding. But he's not much of a talker in general. Conversation is not his strong suit (he can speak fine just doesn't care to talk much). Everytime I speak about school, all he says is "Stop, mama. No school. I want to stay with mama"

It's not very large group - 12 children for two teachers. State requirement is 2 teachers for 16 kids so it's smaller than most schools I've seen. Many of the kids have done their 2-3 year nursery room so they're adjusted and don't require as much so his teachers do take good care of him and provide lots of attention.

musicalmama5

We started it a day late so we're a bit behind in the transition phase they have. But I did spend his first day (half day - hour & half) with him inn the room the entire time. The second day, I spent about 45 minutes there with him and then left him for the remaining two hours. I don't want to stay too much because I don't want him thinking it's a mommy & me - we've done lots of those. Today is just the third day for him and I plan to stay for a little while to get him settled in before leaving.

As for talking to him about it - he hasn't really been responding. But he's not much of a talker in general. Conversation is not his strong suit (he can speak fine just doesn't care to talk much). Everytime I speak about school, all he says is "Stop, mama. No school. I want to stay with mama"

It's not very large group - 12 children for two teachers. State requirement is 2 teachers for 16 kids so it's smaller than most schools I've seen. Many of the kids have done their 2-3 year nursery room so they're adjusted and don't require as much so his teachers do take good care of him and provide lots of attention.

Sounds like a man.

bliss611

LOL - I was thinking that as I wrote it.